The Journal
by silverdoe14
Summary: AU Brittana. Brittany Pierce is an attorney's receptionist at a major NY law firm. Santana Lopez is the new, challenging lawyer Brittany has been chosen to work for. Brittany finds a very old journal and begins writing in it to reveal some of the feelings she could never ever tell her new boss. No outside glee characters, crackshipping, etc.
1. Chapter 1

The sound of morning traffic reached her ears the second she opened the door to walk out of the coffee shop. Though it was still loud, over time she had grown accustomed to it and could now all but block it out entirely. Adjusting her grip on the cardboard container holding her coffees, she quickly began making her way down the sidewalk with all the other pedestrians. Her destination wasn't far, and within minutes she was entering once again the revolving doors of the giant skyscraper. She was glad to be inside again. New York winters are tough. And that's something she had _not_ grown accustomed to yet.

Giving the front lobby security guard a timid smile, she made her way to the elevators. She strolled down the hall, letting her index finger drag across the wall and hitting each "up" button as she passed it. After a few seconds, she heard a high-pitched ding behind her, and entered the empty elevator. When the doors closed, she checked her reflection in the mirror-like metal. Brittany Pierce's hair was a little wind-swept, her cheeks a little flushed from the cold outside. But overall she was pleased with what she saw. Her black high-heeled pumps, black tights, and black pencil skirt all looked quite professional, and maybe even a little bit boring. But her bright turquoise button down that was tucked in gave her outfit just the right amount of spunk. Plus all the other ladies with her position here were at least in their mid-fifties. They all rotated between blacks, whites, and varying shades of gray for their work wear. The way Brittany saw it, somebody had to bring the color. Right?

The elevator once again made the high-pitched dinging noise, indicating she'd reached her stop. The view of New York City from the sixteenth floor was breathtaking. And if she'd had an office she'd get to appreciate it a lot more often. As it was, her small desk was located right outside her boss's office (who did have quite a spectacular view). All of the other assistants were already there, answering phone calls and setting up meetings. When she reached her desk, she noticed the little light that indicated a waiting voicemail was blinking on her phone. Sighing a little, she took the newspaper that had been folded under her arm since the coffee shop and placed it on the edge of her desk. Then she removed one of the coffees from the cardboard holder and placed it next to the newspaper. This had been her routine for the past year that she'd worked here. Bring the boss the morning paper and a coffee. She didn't mind though, he was nice enough to pay for her morning coffee every day too. With that thought, she pulled the other drink from the container and took a tentative sip. It had cooled down just enough in the walk over not to scald her tongue. Feeling the warmth spread through her veins, she tossed the empty container in a waste basket and sat down to begin listening to the voicemails.

Being an attorney's assistant was no glamorous job. She brought the morning coffee, occasionally the afternoon lunch, answered phones, and took notes. But the pay was at least steady and enough to support her. Plus, the firm she worked for had to be almost as old as the city itself. All of the partners had white hair and wore suspenders. That description also applied to the attorney she worked directly for. Although he wasn't a partner, he was one of the best lawyers here. He was a nice man, old enough to be her grandfather. He was the kind of man you'd expect to offer you a butterscotch hard candy that he always carried around in his pockets. He really was a great boss, and that made working for him that much easier.

As Brittany took another sip of her coffee, she grabbed the receiver and began listening to the voicemails waiting for her, taking notes about each one. Just as she finished, her boss rounded the corner carrying a briefcase and quickly stowing away his cell phone in his jacket pocket. When he looked down at Brittany sitting at her desk, he beamed his familiar smile.

"Good morning Brittany! You're looking bright as ever my dear," he said with a little bob of his head.

Brittany smiled back and smoothed out the front of her blouse. "Thank you Mr. Perkins. Are you having a good morning?"

"I'm sure it'll become much better after I've had my coffee. Do I ever give my thanks to you for getting it every day?"

"Um, only about every day," Brittany said grinning up at him.

He gave a small chuckle at his own joke. "Just checking. What have you got for me today?"

Brittany pulled out the notes she'd been making from the voicemails, and the calendar she kept all of his scheduled meetings on. "You don't have a meeting with the other associates until noon, but Mr. Browning called again. He says you're the only man who can win his case."

"I've told him about five times I won't take it. That man is as guilty as he is annoying."

"Well, he may need to hear a sixth time I guess. Here are the others who've called." She gave him the list of notes she'd made.

"Thank you Brittany. What would I do without you?"

She knew it was rhetorical, but she answered anyway. "Probably just hire a new assistant," she deadpanned.

He winked quickly before shuffling towards his office. "But they wouldn't be as colorful."

"No, I doubt they would. I'll call you at 11:45 so that you can go to the meeting."

"Thank you ma'am," he finished with a smile before entering his office and closing the door behind him.

The rest of her day comprised of taking Mr. Perkins' calls, reminding him of the people he needed to call back and when his appointment times were. By the time she got home though, she was already exhausted. She supposed it was the constant boredom of work all day. After she'd eaten dinner, she curled up on the couch to wind down with a glass of wine and her favorite TV show. After a few hours, she got up, set her alarm, and went to bed. She'd start the exact same process tomorrow morning when she woke up. Of course she didn't know then that everything was about to change.

* * *

The elevator dinged its familiar ding, and Brittany made her way again to her desk on the 16th floor. When she got there, she placed the newspaper and the coffee right on the edge like she always did for Mr. Perkins to pick up on his way in. She took notes on the waiting voicemails. Mr. Perkins still hadn't arrived yet by this point, so she went ahead and pulled out her calendar so she'd have his daily itinerary ready for him too when he arrived. When she finished that, he still hadn't shown. She was just thinking his coffee would be cold by the time he got there when another assistant walked around the corner. Her face was somber and she looked at Brittany with pity. Brittany had just opened her mouth to ask what was wrong when the woman spoke.

"Brittany, I'm so sorry to have to tell you this," she paused here, confusing Brittany even more.

"What is it?" Brittany asked hurriedly. Just spit it out already.

"Mr. Perkins… he… he was in a car accident on his way in this morning."

Brittany was now the one to pause, letting that information sink in. After a few seconds she asked the pivotal question. "Is he okay?"

"Brittany, I'm sorry. He… he didn't make it."

Moments passed without any reaction from the blonde. He didn't make it? That's not possible. Mr. Perkins had to be pushing 70. He was supposed to die of something old people die of. Not some mundane thing like an accident.

The woman began speaking again. Brittany thought randomly that her name was Margaret.

"Look, I know you really liked working for him. Mr. Taylor says you should go home for the rest of the day, and that you can have off until his… funeral… also. But he wants to see you on your way out."

Brittany just nodded numbly. Mr. Taylor was the senior partner for the firm. Brittany had only ever spoken to him a handful of times. She usually just spoke to his assistants. Without really thinking she picked her purse back up and started walking back to the elevators, leaving the other assistant behind without a second glance. She travelled up a few more floors and when she reached his office, the receptionist outside nodded for her to go in. She knocked anyway.

"Come in," came a gravelly voice from inside.

She walked in, and came to stand in front of the huge desk at the center of the room. On any other day she would have taken in how beautiful the room was, how beautiful the city was outside. Today she thought it all looked a little bleak.

"You wanted to see me, sir?" Her voice sounded so small as she said it. She looked up at the white-haired man behind the desk looking back at her. He had to be as old or older as Mr. Perkins. Well, as Mr. Perkins _was_, Brittany added sadly to herself.

"Ms. Pierce. I am as shocked and as saddened as you are to hear of John's passing. He will always be known as one of the greatest attorneys this firm has ever seen."

Brittany said nothing. She just waited for him to continue.

"I am assuming you've been told you have permission to take today off. And until the day of his funeral service."

"Yes, sir. Thank you."

"It is only right. I will be taking off for the funeral myself."

"Yes, sir," Brittany said again.

"I wanted to see you today before you left, however, because of another matter."

What could he want with her?

"I don't mean to be insensitive, but with John's passing you no longer have an attorney to report to." He paused. It looked like he was struggling with his words.

Oh God, is he _firing_ me? Brittany's thoughts ran rampant. Surely not, he's telling me to take days off, not to never come back. But what's he getting at then?

"We were thinking of hiring a new representative for the firm anyway. We'd even had the interviews… and now it seems that we have to. I hope you don't mind, but upon your return we have selected the new attorney for which you will be working. She's very young, just graduated a few years ago actually, but she's fierce and already has a reputation for herself. We think some new blood might give this firm a more diverse clientele."

He continued talking about her. Brittany thought it was about her credentials but she wasn't really listening anymore. This morning she had bought Mr. Perkins' coffee and newspaper. Now Mr. Perkins was… was gone… and she had a new boss already? She felt her sadness begin to turn into anger.

Bolder than she probably should have been, she interrupted Mr. Taylor.

"She won't be in his office will she?"

"Excuse me, Ms. Pierce?" he asked, confused.

"This new woman, she won't be in Mr. Perkins' office, right? What about his things? His family will need to get all that. We can't ask them to do it right away."

"I hadn't actually considered that, but you make a good point. We will give her the empty office on the 17th floor. Your desk and things will be moved for you."

For some strange reason, that relieved her, and she nodded in approval. She didn't want to work for some stranger who just took an office that didn't belong to her.

"That is all I wanted to discuss with you, Ms. Pierce. Go ahead and go home. We will expect you back at 8AM the day after the service."

"Yes, sir," Brittany said as she started to leave. When she reached the door, however, she turned back to ask one last question.

"Mr. Taylor?"

He looked up expectantly.

"This new attorney, I don't think you ever told me her name."

"Ahh yes you probably should know that before you meet her," he said with a weak smile. Brittany did not smile back and waited for him to continue.

"It's Santana Lopez."

* * *

The following days passed in a blur. Brittany never realized how much she liked working for Mr. Perkins, or how much she actually cared for his well-being, until he was gone. She felt herself holding back tears when she picked out flowers to send to his family, and at the end of his funeral she found herself holding a wet bundle of tissues she'd finally shed her tears on. Watching his family's faces as they lowered his casket was one of the most heart-breaking things she'd ever seen. She left quickly after that.

That night, as she set her alarm to return to work (now fifteen minutes later since she wouldn't be picking up coffee), she realized she was a bit nervous. She had no idea what this Santana Lopez was like, and it put her on edge. She tried to think optimistically though. If she'd just graduated from law school a few years ago, they were probably around the same age. Maybe that would allow them to connect more easily. Then again, Mr. Taylor had called her fierce, and that was a little worrying. By the time she lay down to go to sleep, she'd given herself a headache thinking of this new stranger, and had resolved to just let everything unfold in the morning.

At five minutes to 8 the following morning, she was hitting the elevator button for the 17th floor. A tiny stab of sadness shot through her, but she suppressed it. The time for grieving had passed. She made her way through, nodding at the different receptionists as she passed and finally finding her familiar desk outside what used to be an empty office. The door was left open, and the light was on, but no one was inside. Standing at the door frame, she looked around the office. The desk had neat piles of folders and paperwork stacked on it, a large array of books filled the bookcases on either side of the room. And behind the desk, the blinds had been drawn closed, blocking the view of the city. Brittany thought it was odd that anyone would ever intentionally block out such a spectacular view, but she shrugged to herself and turned around to go seat herself at her desk. She was mildly shocked when she found that her way was blocked and ended up stumbling back a step or two, letting out a small gasp as she did.

The woman standing in front of her was breathtaking. She probably would have gasped even if she hadn't been stunned with surprise. She was a couple inches shorter than Brittany, with dark features that made Brittany's heart beat kinda funny. Her hair was black and fell in thick curls around her face. Her eyes, also dark, stared into Brittany's with an intensity she'd never felt before. Her lips were incredibly full, and she wore a nude-colored lipstick that looked so good on her. Her skin was a rich caramel color, and was perfectly smooth. Letting her eyes fall from the beautiful woman's face, she took in the rest of her body. She was wearing a black woman's pantsuit, with a black jacket over a white collared shirt. The only color on her was her bright peacock blue pumps on her feet. After taking all this in, Brittany's eyes travelled back up to meet the woman's and she said the first and only thing that came to mind.

"Holy shit." She sounded a little breathless.

"A very nice way to introduce yourself to your new boss, I'm sure," said the woman, rolling her eyes and pushing past Brittany to enter her office.

Attempting to redeem herself, Brittany stood up a little straighter and turned around to face the woman again.

"I'm sorry Ms. Lopez… you startled me. I'm Brittany Pierce, your assistant."

"Funnily enough I'd worked that out for myself. What were you doing creeping outside my office?" She looked up from her desk to give Brittany that piercing stare again.

Brittany was not about to tell this woman she was looking around at her stuff. She stumbled a little over her words as she tried to lie her way out of this.

"I… well, I was coming to introduce myself. I saw the light on and the door open so I assumed you were inside."

"Right." Santana Lopez sounded as if she didn't believe that for a second. "Well now that we're properly introduced," she said with a voice dripping with sarcasm, "I need you to add these into your computer's contact list." She grabbed one of the folders off her desk and handed it to Brittany.

"These are all the people I've represented in the past. Keep them electronically for faster reference."

"Yes, ma'am. And what should I do with the hard copies once I've finished?"

"Give them back to me. Also, don't call me ma'am."

"Right. Okay."

Brittany clutched the folder to her chest and backed out of the office. Santana sat down in her desk chair and began going through the remaining stacks of papers in front of her. When she reached the door, she reached out to shut it behind her, only to have Santana stop her before her hand even touched it.

"You can leave it open."

Brittany's eyes snapped back to Santana's. She hadn't even noticed she was being watched. She nodded and let her hand fall to her side.

Sitting down at her desk again, she began inputting the contact information Santana had given her. She was slightly impressed with the number of clients she had gathered already, and knew it would take her a good portion of her morning to add it all in. Every few minutes she would sneak a glance at Santana, who was sitting directly opposite her in her office. Every time she was either taking notes or talking quietly on her office phone. Brittany's phone, on the other hand, stayed quiet all morning. She supposed it might take a while before Santana got loads of calls to her receptionist. She wondered what on earth she'd do with her time now.

When she finished adding the contact information, it was nearly lunch time. She stood up and knocked quietly on the open office door. Santana didn't even look up at the sound.

"Er… I finished adding your contacts, Ms. Lopez."

Santana stood up from her desk and walked with her hand out towards Brittany, indicating she wanted the folder back. Brittany held it out, and when Santana got close enough to take it, their fingers managed to graze each other in passing. Santana's skin was warm and soft, unlike her personality which to Brittany seemed cold and hardened.

"Can I do anything else?" Brittany asked, looking down into unreadable eyes.

"Not at the moment. You can go take your lunch now if you want," Santana said as she turned away again. She'd taken off her black suit jacket to reveal more of her white button down underneath. The sleeves were rolled up neatly to the elbow, revealing more of her tan skin. It was tucked in to her trousers, and Brittany caught herself quickly cast her gaze over the woman's backside. Brittany noticed her heart beating strangely again at this and pulled her eyes back up. Santana had placed the folder on one of her bookcases and turned around to face Brittany.

"Are you going to lunch or not?"

Brittany snapped herself out of her weird staring mode and took a few steps back quickly.

"Right. Yes, I am. Can I bring anything back for you?"

Santana cocked her head to the side, seemingly considering Brittany's offer. Finally, she looked down again and sat back down behind her desk.

"No. I'm fine for now."

Brittany left the office once again, and for some strange reason she really wished Santana had said yes.

* * *

Please review if you like this story and want to see it continue! The story I have in mind is not like any Brittana story I've read so far.


	2. Chapter 2

It had definitely been an interesting week working for Santana Lopez. She didn't often give Brittany anything to do, which meant Brittany mostly just sat at her desk watching the second hand on the clock tick the hours away. Occasionally she'd throw a covert look in Santana's direction just to see what she was doing. As distant as the woman seemed to be, she intrigued Brittany. And Brittany found herself enjoying watching her. Though she found it odd in the beginning, she was really glad now that Santana always kept her door open. She'd already made several observations from her reconnaissance work.

For example, Santana never opened the blinds to her office window. When she talked on the phone, her eyebrows were almost always knitted together. She wrote with her left hand. And when she was reading from any of her law books, she held it in front of her and paced the room with it. When she had meetings with clients, she was almost just as distant with them as she was with Brittany. All she seemed to care about was getting the facts and completing the case. Brittany had been working for her for four days now, and she still knew absolutely nothing about her. She was infuriating and fascinating all at the same time.

It was now Friday morning. Brittany was just getting off the elevator a few minutes before 8. When she reached her desk, she automatically looked to Santana's office to see the lights on and the brunette pacing inside. Brittany was coming to expect Santana being there before her, as she had been every day this week. Today she was wearing a gray pantsuit. That was another thing Brittany had come to expect. Santana liked power suits. Brittany herself had chosen a light yellow blouse to go with her usual pencil skirt. She thought it was flattering with her blue eyes and blonde hair, which she had braided in a long over-the-shoulder braid this morning. Without greeting Santana (since they didn't do that), Brittany sat down at her desk and took notes on the two voicemails waiting for her. Then she checked the calendar for Santana's Friday meetings. Having gathered everything together, she knocked quietly on the open office door.

"Er, Ms. Lopez, I have notes from two voicemails. One of your previous clients, a Mr. Jackson Harding, would like another consultation with you regarding a new case. Also, Mr. Phillip Browning called for you, also requesting a consultation."

Santana finished writing whatever note she had been making when Brittany entered the room, put her pen down and looked up. Brittany wasn't entirely sure, but she though Santana's eyes widened for a split second when she looked at Brittany.

"Make an appointment with Harding for some time next week. As for Browning, I have spoken to that man directly myself and told him I would not take his case."

At this Santana mumbled something under her breath. Brittany thought she heard the words "creeper" and "greasy" thrown in. She suppressed a smile.

"If he calls again, feel free to tell him to stop. If he persists, don't bother taking notes or reporting it to me."

"Yes ma'am… er, Ms. Lopez."

Santana sighed and picked up her pen to begin writing another note.

"Is there anything else?"

"Oh, yes actually. Your morning is clear today, but there is an associates meeting at noon. Lunch will be provided. And then you have a client meeting at 2."

"Right. Um, well thanks."

"Is there anything I can do for the time being?"

"No, that is all."

Brittany nodded, although she was sure Santana didn't see her considering her head was looking down at her papers.

When she sat down at her desk, she began her usual routine of switching between staring at the clock, and staring at Santana. Brittany started to think she was developing a problem. People don't just stare at other people like this. But then again, other people didn't look like Santana Lopez. She was so caught up in staring at the brunette that she was quite startled when her phone rang at 11:30. Jumping wildly, she managed to knock over a large stack of papers on her desk in her attempt to answer the phone. She saw Santana look up at the commotion and this time she was certain she saw a slight smirk flash across her face. Feeling like an extreme idiot, she answered the phone. After 10 seconds she hung up, and meant to rise from her seat but found Santana standing in front of her desk.

"Anything important?" The ghost of her earlier smirk was still on her face.

Feeling a little flustered, Brittany stumbled over her words trying to get them out.

"Er… the associates meeting has been cansmelled—er cancelled, I mean."

Santana's smirk came back full-fledged at Brittany's stuttering, and Brittany felt even more like an idiot. Cansmelled? Really?

Santana put her hands on the edge of Brittany's desk and leaned down toward the blonde. Completely unable to help herself, Brittany let her eyes fall to the open space between Santana's light blue top and her skin. She could just barely see the tops of a nude colored bra, covering the brunette's perfectly shaped boobs. Brittany gulped and looked back up quickly.

"You know," said Santana in a very low voice, "the phone might not startle you so much if you weren't so caught up in the staring game."

Brittany gulped again. Shit. Fuck. Fuck shit. She knew Brittany had been staring. Say something you idiot!

Brittany opened her mouth to say God knows what when Santana straightened back up and said in her perfectly normal voice, "You said the meeting is cancelled?"

"Er—yes?"

"That's good actually. I wasn't quite at a stopping point yet. Why don't you go to lunch now instead. After you sort this out, of course." She inclined her head to the mess of papers on the floor.

"Right. Okay."

With that Santana turned her back and reentered her office. Feeling slightly relieved, but still mostly just stupid, Brittany stooped down to pick up the papers. After reorganizing them, she stood at Santana's open door and cleared her throat to announce her presence.

"Um, I'm going to lunch now. And since the meeting is cancelled, well, that was your lunch and all so…" Brittany started twiddling her fingers together. Why the hell was she so slow around this woman?

Santana was looking at her with mild curiosity.

"Well I just wanted to say that I'd be happy to bring something back for you. That way you don't have to stop what you're doing."

Again Santana looked as if she was considering Brittany's offer, but after a few seconds she shook her head and once again declined. Brittany nodded and left the office.

When she got out onto the street, the cold air seemed to help clear her head a little bit. She made her way to a little soup and sandwich shop Mr. Perkins used to like getting lunch from. She ordered her sandwich and as she sat eating, she internally scolded herself for being so obvious with her staring. She vowed from now on not to stare at Santana Lopez. Or at least not so much.

When she finished eating, she stood to leave. But instead of leaving, she walked back up to the counter and made another order. This time to go.

"One large tomato soup, please. Crackers in the bag."

Santana may have declined her offer, but the woman needed to eat. And it _was_ winter in New York. Soup was a perfectly acceptable lunch to bring her.

When she was finally back on the 17th floor, she felt oddly nervous again. All the clarity the cold air had brought her sort of vanished as soon as she started getting close to Santana's office. Just when she reached the brunette's door, she saw Santana putting her phone back on the receiver and putting her head into her hands. Brittany felt strangely concerned to see her like that.

"Is everything okay, Ms. Lopez?"

Santana snapped her head up at Brittany's voice and cleared her throat.

"Fine. Everything's fine. Just tired, I guess."

"You should probably eat something."

"I can eat when I get home."

"Well, I brought you some soup. I don't even know if you like soup, or tomato soup, since that's what kind I got. If not you can just throw it away."

Santana seemed mildly stunned at Brittany's words. The blonde walked forward and placed the paper bag on Santana's desk. She was kind of starting to regret getting it now, since Santana hadn't said anything yet. She decided just to leave it there and turn around but before she could Santana cleared her throat once more.

"Erm… that was… very nice of you Brittany. You didn't have to do that," said Santana, looking everywhere but at Brittany. It was the most awkward Brittany had ever seen the woman. And she loved it.

"It's no big deal, really. I used to get lunch all the time for my old boss."

This wasn't strictly true. Only occasionally would Mr. Perkins ask her to get lunch for him, and she certainly had never offered.

"Well, um, thanks again."

The rest of the day passed without any more interaction with Santana, but Brittany did get more satisfaction than she should have when the brunette did have the soup for lunch. When five o'clock rolled around, Brittany gathered her things and internally debated whether or not she should tell her boss goodbye. Deciding it would definitely be rude not to, but grudgingly admitting to herself she just wanted another reason to talk to the woman, she stood once more at the door to Santana's office.

"Ms. Lopez, I'm leaving for the day, if you don't need me for anything else."

"Oh, right. No, I don't need you for anything else."

"Have a good weekend," Brittany said with a small smile.

"Er, yes. You too."

Brittany left the office, relieved to be going home and having the weekend off. Then again, she kind of wished there wouldn't be two whole days where she didn't get to see Santana Lopez.

* * *

Brittany woke up earlier than usual on Saturday morning. She usually slept in and spent her day being lazy around her apartment, but this morning she felt rejuvenated. She didn't feel like having the coffee that was in her freezer, and she kinda wanted to get out anyway. So Brittany threw her hair into another braid, brushed her teeth, and got dressed to leave. It felt nice throwing on an old pair of jeans and a sweater. New York winters might be tough, but at least the clothing was super comfy and warm. Before she walked out the door she threw a bright red scarf around her neck. The soft texture felt good against her skin.

She had been walking down the sidewalk for a few minutes and before she knew it she was standing outside a very familiar coffee shop. She didn't even realize this is the one she was coming to until she got there. It had been over a week since she'd gotten coffee here for Mr. Perkins, and she missed how good it was. It was low-key and quiet, and the prices weren't outrageous and the coffee didn't taste like cinnamon mocha or pumpkin spice or any other thing. Just plain old coffee. Walking inside, and deciding she might also get a pastry or something to eat for breakfast, she noticed a very familiar face sitting at one of the small spindly tables in the middle of the room. The woman was gorgeous even in plain clothes. She too was wearing jeans, Brittany could even see a small hole at one of the knees under the table. Her sweatshirt was gray but two big blue letters "CU" were written on the front. Brittany wondered idly if they stood for the school Santana went to. Her hair was pulled into a pony tail, and Brittany once again was taken aback by her face. She loved how her hair always fell in perfect curls, but with it off her face she could see the woman's every feature. God her jawline is perfect.

Santana was looking down, and hadn't noticed her. She had a stack of two or three books and a folder of papers on her table. She was bent over one of her books, hastily making more notes. Forgetting to order her coffee completely, Brittany abandoned her place in the line and went over to the small table.

"Good morning, Ms. Lopez."

At Brittany's words Santana immediately snapped shut the book she was writing in. Brittany thought she may have startled her.

"Oh, Brittany, hi." She looked up at the blonde. She had large, dark circles under her eyes. Brittany wondered how much sleep she got last night.

"So you like this place too? Their coffee is the best." Brittany tried making conversation that wasn't work-related.

"I… yes I do like it. I was just grabbing a quick breakfast while I got some work done."

She indicated a half-eaten bagel on a small paper plate. The cream cheese on it had a blue-ish tint to it.

So she likes the coffee here, bagels, and possibly blueberry cream cheese. Brittany committed these things to memory right away. For some reason it was refreshing to know something about this mysterious woman.

Feeling a little bold, she sat down in the other chair across from Santana. The brunette's face looked a little puzzled, but she didn't object.

"You know," Brittany started, looking directly into Santana's eyes, "you don't have to do work _all_ the time. You look really tired, Ms. Lopez."

Brittany was not at all prepared for Santana's response.

"You really look at me, when you look at me," she said lowly. She was once again giving Brittany that piercing gaze.

"Wh—what?" What does that mean? Of course Brittany looks at her. When Santana's even remotely near her it's all she can do _not_ to look.

"Nothing. It's nothing. You're right though. Maybe I should take a day off."

She began packing up her books into a shoulder sling that was hung over the back of her chair.

"You don't have to go."

Brittany had no idea why she said it. Well, she knew she didn't want Santana to go, but she didn't know why she said it out loud.

"I do, though. The weekdays are hard enough."

She stood at these words, threw her bag over her shoulder and started to walk away.

"See you Monday, Brittany."

Brittany didn't respond, and before she knew it Santana was gone, leaving her more confused than ever.

* * *

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Thank you all for the reviews so far. i really like hearing what you think.


	3. Chapter 3

Monday morning finally rolled around, bringing rain and the forecast of a snowstorm with it. Brittany didn't care though. She had a solid eight hours of stealthily looking at Santana ahead of her. It could rain fire and she'd still fight her way to the 17th floor. She made her way quickly through the foot traffic on the sidewalks, occasionally twirling her umbrella just because she felt like it. When she reached the revolving glass doors, the raindrops were just beginning to turn into flurries. She shook off the residual water from the umbrella once she got inside and happily made her way to the elevators. She had a spring in her step today.

Truthfully, she didn't know why she was so excited. Her last encounter with Santana hadn't exactly been friendly. Hell, she didn't even understand half of what the woman said to her that morning in the coffee shop. But it was a new day, and something was giving Brittany a good feeling.

As she rounded the last corner to her desk, she once again looked first to Santana's office. The lights were on, as usual, and the door was open. Not for the first time, Brittany wondered what time Santana got here every morning. Then she wondered what time she usually left, since Brittany was always the first to leave in the evenings. She sat down at her desk, placing her purse underneath by her feet as usual. Then, in what she hoped was a nonchalant glance, she peeked up to see Santana also sitting at her desk.

She was wearing a white button down shirt again, and it seemed the other associates' fashion sense was starting to rub off on her. Over the white shirt, she wore a pair of black suspenders. But holy hell, Santana Lopez made them look good. It was the most wonderful combination of sexy and nerdy Brittany had ever seen.

Remembering she was trying to be sneaky, she quickly looked back down and picked up the phone to answer voicemails. Both clients Santana was supposed to see today cancelled; they didn't want to come out in the snow. Brittany quickly checked her calendar for any other scheduled meetings. There weren't any. It'd be just the two of them all day. As she was putting her calendar back in her desk drawer, she heard a high-pitched howling sound coming from all around. The wind was picking up. The storm must be rolling in already.

Stepping a few feet into Santana's office, Brittany cleared her throat.

"Good morning, Ms. Lopez."

Santana looked up and for a brief moment a small smile crossed her lips. It disappeared just as quickly though and was replaced by a look of indifference.

"Hello, Brittany."

"Ms. Lopez, your two client meetings have been cancelled today. Neither of them wanted to risk getting caught in the snowstorm."

Santana knitted her brows at these words.

"Snowstorm? I didn't know it was supposed to snow today."

"It was beginning to already by the time I was walking into the building."

"Hmph," said the brunette with a small shrug, as if this news didn't faze her in slightest. Then she stood from her seat and picked up a small folder from one of her bookcases. She walked back across the room and handed the folder to Brittany. Standing up, Brittany could fully appreciate her outfit. The brunette's boobs pushed the suspenders out just enough that there was a gap between the straps and her belly. Brittany fought the strange impulse to grab onto them and pull the woman forward.

"…can you do that for me?"

Brittany shook her head a little bit. Apparently Santana had been talking the whole time Brittany had been staring. Again.

"Huh? What?"

She pointed to the folder now in Brittany's hands. "I said these are the notes I've made on the case I just completed. Will you go and make a copy of them?"

"Oh! Oh, yes—yes I will."

A small smile was playing around the corners of Santana's lips.

"You get distracted easily, don't you?"

If Brittany hadn't been so flustered right at that moment, she may have come up with something better to say. As it was, she spat out the truth before she could stop herself.

"That's more of a recent development."

Realizing what she said, she felt her cheeks growing hot. Santana's smile widened slightly.

"Um, I'm gonna go make that copy now."

She backed out of the room, Santana's eyes never leaving hers.

As she walked down the hall to the copier, she muttered to herself under her breath.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid." Why did she have to turn into such a pile of mush around that woman?

Standing at the copier, she took Santana's notes out and began to place them in the machine. As she stood there waiting, she let her eyes roam over Santana's handwriting. It was small and slightly cramped, but still neat. She put the papers back into the folder one by one as they came out of the copier, and one particular footnote caught her eye as she was putting it in the folder. She read it quickly, and laughed out loud at Santana's assessment.

"_Make sure this man speaks as little as possible in front of the judge. Though he's done nothing wrong, he is also a moron. Judges don't pity morons."_

Brittany kind of wished she could read through the rest of the notes now, but then Santana might wonder what's taking so long. She grudgingly put back the rest of the papers without reading them.

As she made her way back down the hall, she heard again the raging wind outside. She was just wondering how bad this storm was going to get when the lights above her head started flickering. She didn't so much finish her wish that they wouldn't lose power when they flickered one more time and everything went black.

Brittany stopped walking, letting her eyes adjust to the near complete darkness. She could just make out enough not to walk into anything. Securing the folder under her arm, she began walking forward again, a bit slower and with her hands out in front of her just in case. When she reached her desk she placed the folder on the edge and walked toward Santana's office. She was just on the verge of calling out the brunette's name when she found her anyway. By running right into her. She felt Santana stumble back a step or two, so instinctively she reached out both hands and placed them on the woman's shoulders, steadying her. She kinda didn't want to let go, but she had no good reason for holding on so she let her hands fall by her sides.

"Sorry… didn't mean to run into you," she mumbled quickly.

"Doesn't this place have generators? I can barely see, let alone get any work done."

Getting work done was the last thing on Brittany's mind, but she had come to realize that Santana was like a work machine.

"We do have a generator. But it only lights the stairwells and the first floor lobby."

"So what am I supposed to do now?"

Brittany thought for a moment and then stepped a few more feet into the office.

"You could try opening the blinds. This whole wall is a window, if you sat by it I'm sure you could get some work done."

She began walking toward the back wall, but Santana's voice stopped her.

"No… please don't."

"Sorry?" Brittany was yet again confused by her.

"Don't… please don't open the blinds."

Suddenly Brittany had another one of those enlightening moments when she discovered something new about her mysterious boss.

"Oh my God, you're afraid of heights, aren't you?"

Now that her eyes were even better adjusted, she could barely make out Santana fidgeting in front of her.

"I… no I don't like heights."

The way she said it made her sound so vulnerable. Until this moment Brittany never thought that was an emotion Santana could experience.

"Do you mind if I just peek out then? To see how bad the snow is?"

Santana shook her head silently and added, "I'll just stand over here. Don't open them too much."

Brittany closed the remaining couple of feet to the window and barely pulled back one of the wall-length blinds to look outside. The flurries were huge and were coming down fast. Up above the sky was one solid wall of gray. Down below everything was already turning white. It was beautiful.

She let the blind fall back into place and turned around.

"You really should come see this. It's amazing."

"Uhh I'll just take your word for it," Santana said from the opposite side of the room.

Brittany put as much sincerity in her next words as possible.

"Trust me."

She thought she heard Santana sigh, but then the brunette stood up a little straighter, set her shoulders, and marched toward Brittany and the window. She stopped just beside Brittany and looked up at her. Streaks of light from the cracks between the blinds crossed her face. She looked just short of terrified.

"Don't open it too much," she whispered.

"Look out. Look up. Don't look down, k? You're perfectly safe in here." Brittany found herself whispering back.

Instinctively, Brittany dropped her left hand and clasped Santana's right wrist. Her thumb lightly rested on the back of the brunette's hand, which was trembling just a little. Brittany's heartbeat was picking up.

"Are you ready?"

Santana nodded silently. With her free hand, Brittany pulled back the blinds, letting Santana look out at the winter wonderland. Her eyes widened with the view, and she stepped closer to Brittany. Now their arms were grazing.

"It's beautiful isn't it?" asked Brittany, ripping her eyes off Santana and looking out again. "It's like we're in our own little snow globe."

"Beautiful," Santana repeated.

They both stared out at the falling snow for a few more seconds, but then Brittany felt Santana's shoulder stiffen. She quickly removed her hand from Brittany's and took a few steps back.

"I think that's enough for one day."

Brittany immediately missed the contact, but she managed a smile.

"Was that _so_ hard?"

"You have no idea." Santana said it so softly, Brittany wasn't sure if the brunette even meant for her to hear.

Deciding to ignore the statement either way, Brittany sensed that conversation had come to a close and changed the subject.

"So, I take it you won't be doing any work by the window then… so what now?"

"Well, I guess we either try to wait this out and hope the power comes back on, or we go home."

"Ms. Lopez, I will sit here in the dark and wait for power if you want, but this storm is only supposed to get worse."

Santana sighed again, seemingly weighing her options.

"Yes… well I suppose we better leave then. Before we get stuck."

Brittany turned around to grab her purse and umbrella from underneath her desk, while Santana retrieved her own. They reached the stairs together and when Brittany opened the door she let out a huge sigh. 17 flights of stairs was a lot for anybody. Especially in heels.

Santana walked by her and gave her a fleeting smile. "At least we're going down," she said and started down the first flight. Brittany smiled and started off after her. Neither spoke on the way down, Brittany was heavily focusing on not falling down and making another idiot out of herself. She wondered what Santana was thinking though. 17 flights later they reached the bottom and emerged in the lobby. Looking through the glass doors, Brittany could see there was already quite a bit of accumulation on the ground. She was thankful she didn't live far away.

"Ugh, it's going to take forever to get home in this mess," Santana said, also looking out at the little blizzard.

"Wait, you didn't drive, did you?"

"I drive every morning. I don't live close enough to walk."

"Ms. Lopez, you can't drive in that!"

"Brittany, I'm sure the roads are fine."

"Even if they were, which I doubt they are, you still wouldn't be able to see anything out the windshield. Look, my place is just a few minutes from here. Come wait it out there."

A slight look of panic crossed Santana's face at these words. "Uhh… no that's quite alright… I'm sure I'll be fine driving."

Brittany lowered her voice and looked down at the floor. "Ms. Lopez… I just lost my last boss from a car accident. And it happened in perfectly manageable weather. Please, just wait a little while."

She looked up to see Santana staring at her again.

"Oh, ok I guess. Just until it lets up."

Feeling immensely relieved, Brittany began walking toward the doors, Santana following. They made their way back as fast as possible. There were few other people out by now, but the snow made the sidewalks slippery. Again, especially in heels. By the time they reached Brittany's apartment door, both were freezing and considerably soaked, even though they used umbrellas.

Brittany walked in, immediately took her shoes off and cranked up the thermostat a few degrees. She was so thankful she came home to power. Turning around, she noticed that Santana was still standing just inside the front door.

"You can come in," Brittany said laughing. "Come back here and I'll get you something to change into."

"Oh, that's alright, actually. You don't have to."

"Ms. Lopez… I am freezing. And my clothes are soaked. Which means I know you are cold too."

"You are persistent," Santana said with another slight smile.

"Or just a good hostess," Brittany retorted.

She made her way back to the bedroom, and found a pair of sweats and a hoodie for the brunette.

"You can change in the bathroom if you want," said Brittany, pointing to the open bathroom adjoined to her room. She was so glad she cleaned up this weekend.

Santana mumbled a quiet thanks and took the clothes from Brittany, heading for the door. When she shut it behind her, Brittany took out some sweats of her own and began to change. She was just pulling an old t-shirt over her head when she heard the bathroom door open. When her head popped through the neck of the shirt, Santana was just standing there in the doorway staring. Brittany suppressed a smirk. She knew Santana had to have just gotten an eyeful. _Now who's looking?_

"Right… well I can put your clothes in the dryer while we wait… do you wanna check the weather channel? Maybe they'll tell us how long this will last?"

"Yeah… good idea."

Brittany quickly threw the clothes into the dryer in the hallway, then led the way back into the living room and sat down on the two-seater couch, Santana coming to sit beside her. Looking over, she took in the sight of Santana Lopez in her old sweats. She had to admit, she kinda liked it. She picked up the remote and started flicking through the channels, trying to find the weather station. When she landed on it, a commercial was on.

"Can I get you something to drink, Ms. Lopez?"

"Um, no I'm ok, thanks. And uh… well I guess if you want… you can call me Santana."

A smile started to spread across Brittany's face but she didn't say anything. Santana mumbled out her next sentence.

"I mean, I am wearing your clothes and everything… if you want to that is… you can call me Santana."

"Santana." Brittany said, still smiling. It sounded quite good rolling off her tongue like that.

Just then the weather program decided to come back from commercial. The man on the screen was pointing at a huge moving pink blob hovering over New York City. This storm was big. Apparently it wouldn't be over for quite a while. Sitting back further into the couch, she looked over at the brunette, who was still sitting rigidly upright.

"Santana, you can relax you know. We're off the clock, remember?" Man she liked saying Santana's name.

The woman gave another small smile and leaned back into the couch. As soon as her back hit the cushion her shoulders relaxed and her eyelids drooped.

"Are you tired again?" Brittany asked, looking back to the TV.

"I'm always tired," Santana responded. She sounded very much like she meant it.

"Then I'll let you relax. We'll just watch a quiet movie or something."

Santana looked over at her, and she looked grateful. "Ok," she whispered.

Brittany began flicking through the stations again, finally landing on an old movie she'd seen a hundred times. It was already almost halfway through, but she didn't think Santana would care. She was proven right within minutes; after two commercials she felt Santana's weight shift on the couch. Her head came to rest on Brittany's shoulder and she was sleeping peacefully.

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i hoped you liked this chapter :) let me know what you think if you want! i think next chapter Brittany might lose her power too...


	4. Chapter 4

Almost forty minutes had passed since Santana's head had fallen onto Brittany's shoulder, and the brunette hadn't moved an inch. Brittany, on the other hand, had been trying her best not to fidget. She was failing spectacularly, but Santana was completely out and it never bothered her. Three times the blonde reached a hand out and hovered it over Santana's arm. She wanted to feel her skin. To stroke it. Three times she retracted. If Santana woke up, Brittany would have no defense. So she settled for just knowing that this mysterious, distant, independent woman was leaning against her. Getting sleep it seemed she desperately needed. That was okay with Brittany.

The movie was almost over and Brittany was beginning to wonder if she should wake Santana before she woke up on her own and made everything awkward. Just as Brittany made up her mind to rouse her, she experienced for the second time that day flickering lights. The light above their heads flickered feebly, the TV rapidly went from the movie to white noise and back, and then finally all was silent. Here she was again, sitting in the dark with Santana. The sudden absence of light and sound made no difference to her boss. Well, actually it did, just not what Brittany was expecting. Unconsciously, Santana turned her body a little further into Brittany's, and she moved her head from on top of her shoulder further in, her nose almost nuzzling Brittany's neck.

After she'd settled there, she made the slightest humming sound against Brittany's skin.

"Mmmm," she breathed. Brittany could feel the woman's breath travel across her chest and down into the space between her boobs. It sent a shiver down her spine that made her whole body want to shudder. Not able to resist anymore, Brittany reached out into the space where she knew Santana's arm was laying. When her fingertips found smooth skin, she lazily stroked up and down. On her third pass back down, Santana hummed again. The sound, the feel of her breath… it was all delicious.

Knowing she needed to stop herself, she pulled her hand back and leaned her head as far away from the brunette as possible. Then she very gently cleared her throat.

"Um, Santana…"

Her boss didn't budge. She tried again.

"Um… Santana… can you wake up?" She reached over and lightly nudged Santana's shoulder. After a few seconds, Santana's weight was gone. She missed it.

"Brittany? What's going on?"

"Power's just gone out here too. Stay here, I'll get some candles."

Brittany got up from the couch and went back to her bedroom. She grabbed the few candles in there, then scooped up the ones she kept around her bathtub. Returning to the living room, she placed all of them on the coffee table in front of the couch. Then she quickly went into the kitchen and found a lighter.

When she sat back down, she pulled the candles to her and began lighting them. After they were all ignited, the room was decently lit again and she looked over at Santana. Her boss had now moved as far away on the couch as possible, and was looking back at her with an unreadable expression.

"I don't want to keep intruding on you… I should probably go…"

"We just lost power… if anything that means it's worse out right now than it was when we got here. Plus I don't… I mean… you're not intruding."

Santana looked at the assortment of candles in front of them. Brittany kept her eyes on Santana's face. The dancing light of the candles had half of her face in shadow. Now she looked just as mysterious as she acted.

"I fell asleep on you," she said. Her gaze hadn't left the table in front of them.

Brittany wasn't quite sure how to respond to that statement. Again she told the truth.

"You did."

"You let me stay there though. You didn't wake me up. Not until the power went out."

"Yes."

Brittany could hear the wind outside again. It was louder inside her small apartment than it was in the skyscraper. She didn't say anything else. She had no idea where this conversation was going.

Suddenly Santana lifted her eyes to Brittany's. She looked like she was actually attempting to read her thoughts.

"Why?" she whispered.

Brittany thought for a moment. This time she went with a half-truth.

"You seemed really exhausted."

Brittany could feel the temperature in the apartment starting to drop. She was sure she'd need more than just a t-shirt soon, but she ignored it. She was far too intrigued.

"Is that the… only reason?" Santana asked, her eyes still boring into Brittany's.

Brittany gulped. There is no half-truth here. She can tell the truth or tell a very big lie. And she had a feeling Santana knew the answer anyway. So instead of answering, she asked her own question.

"What other reason could I have, Santana? You admitted yourself that you were tired just before you fell asleep."

There. That sounded good.

The brunette's facial expression didn't look as though she was convinced, but she didn't press the matter. Instead, she said another one of those things that threw Brittany off again.

"You know… part of our training in law school involves learning how to read people. The ability to do it well can make a really good attorney."

Brittany gulped again. "And do you… do you think you can read people well?"

"Most people, yes. I think in general most people wear their emotions on their face. Sometimes it's actually a little boring when they're so easy to figure out. Others, though, are… tricky."

Brittany almost huffed out a laugh at this. Santana was one of the trickiest people to understand Brittany had ever met. "Yeah… tell me about it," she said with just a hint of sarcasm.

"Am I tricky to you?" Santana asked quietly.

"I think that's an understatement."

Santana gave her small smirk at these words. The room was definitely getting colder now. Brittany could feel goose bumps begin to creep up her arms.

"I have to be," she whispered.

"You don't," Brittany immediately retorted. She reached out and took one of the brunette's hands in both of her own. But she immediately dropped it; Santana's hand was like ice.

"My God, Santana. You're freezing."

Without another word she got up and went back to bedroom again, this time getting the blanket off her bed and bringing it back with her. When she walked back into the living room, Santana was standing.

"What are you doing?"

"Getting you this blanket. You should have told me you were so cold."

Brittany marched right up and stood in front of Santana. Then, taking the blanket's corners in one hand, she reached around Santana's right shoulder. With her free hand, she reached around Santana's left shoulder and spread the blanket out behind Santana's back. They were standing incredibly close, and Brittany wasn't breaking eye contact. Then she let the blanket fall across Santana's shoulders, pulling her a few centimeters closer with the action. The two stared at each other for no more than two seconds, but it felt like much longer. Feeling brave, Brittany let her hands slowly travel up the blanket covering the brunette's arms. She was just past her elbows when Santana broke eye contact, deliberately letting her gaze fall to the blonde's lips. She looked back up, but her eyes looked slightly more hooded than they did before.

Brittany was warming up fast even without the blanket.

"Is that better?" Brittany asked quietly.

"Mmm," Santana hummed again. God, it was even sexier when she did it on purpose.

Bolder than ever, Brittany took a slight step toward Santana. There was hardly any space left between them at all. She had just taken hold of the edges of the blanket at Santana's sides when the lights and TV suddenly came back to life.

The immediate return of full light and whatever new program was on changed everything. Santana blinked once and instantly took a step back, shrugging out from under the blanket and looking away.

"I should go. I mean, I have to go now."

She didn't wait for a response and strode quickly down the hall to retrieve her clothes. Within just a few minutes she was back in her work attire. Again she avoided looking at Brittany as she put her shoes on by the door.

"Santana, wait… I won't stop you from leaving if you really want to go… but can you at least text me when you get home. It's still pretty bad outside." Brittany pleaded.

Santana paused, but ultimately pulled her phone out and handed it to Brittany, who quickly called her own phone so that Santana would have the number.

When the blonde handed the phone back, Santana turned and walked out the door. She was gone without another word.

Almost an hour later, Brittany still hadn't heard from her boss. Really beginning to worry, she was just about ready to call Santana herself and make sure everything was alright. She never should have let the woman leave. When her phone vibrated and announced a new text message, she quickly snatched it up to see it was from Santana, who number she'd already saved.

**Santana Lopez: I'm back.**

** Brittany: Glad you made it back. See you tomorrow, Santana.**

Her boss never responded.

* * *

Brittany had never felt more apprehensive going to work than she did the next morning. She had no idea what to expect, but she did know she'd be there the full day. The storm had passed in the middle of the evening the night before, and now the sidewalks and the roads were heavily salted. No matter what mood Santana was in today, Brittany would have the full 8 hours of it.

When she arrived, she skipped sitting down at her desk first and went straight to Santana's office. Her boss was sitting behind her desk, doing absolutely nothing other than tapping the end of her pen on it over and over. Brittany wondered if maybe she wasn't the only one who was nervous.

"Um… hi," the blonde said quietly.

Santana looked up quickly and dropped her pen. It started rolling away from her on the desk and she slammed her palm over it to keep it from going over the edge.

"Hi," she said back simply.

Then they just stared at each other. Well, this was awkward.

Deciding to just cut to the chase, Brittany stepped further into the room and took a deep breath.

"Look, Santana… about yesterday—"

"There's nothing to say," Santana cut her off quickly. "There was a snowstorm and you let me come to your apartment until it was safe enough to drive. It was very courteous. Thank you."

"Santana…"

"There's nothing else to say," she said curtly. "Do you understand?"

Brittany felt defeated without even fighting. "Yes."

"Good." She picked her pen back up and started shuffling papers around on her desk. Brittany didn't make any movement to leave the office.

"Can you go check your voicemails or something? I need to get some work done," said Santana after a few moments of awkward silence.

Brittany felt her disappointment start to shift a little to anger.

"I'm sure you do," she said. "Right away, _Ms. Lopez_," Brittany added acidly, walking out of the room without another glance.

Brittany walked out into the hallway, fuming, and leaned against the wall where Santana couldn't see her. She honestly didn't know exactly why she was so mad. But this woman just acted like absolutely nothing happened yesterday. And Brittany knew without question, that even if only for a moment, Santana had wanted her. For some reason it pissed her off that Santana was pretending she didn't. Sure, she was Brittany's boss. Sure, what happened yesterday shouldn't have happened from a professional standpoint. But still, it happened.

The blonde pushed herself off the wall and made her way over to the desk, where she sat down roughly. Being so caught up in her sudden anger, it came as quite a surprise when she felt something warm and wet rub against her inside her panties. Before she could stop herself, she let out a little gasp. Santana looked up at the sound and right into her eyes, again as if she was trying to read her thoughts.

Looking into the brunette's eyes, Brittany felt her arousal deepen and even more dampness invaded her panties. She couldn't remember the last time she'd been so wet, especially without any stimulation. God she was turned on. All because Santana had gone back into mysterious boss mode? Well that was unexpected. Brittany looked down at her desk, breaking eye contact with Santana, but feeling her gaze on her still. She tried to think of other things… now was not the time for what she was feeling… but the thoughts came anyway. God that humming sound she makes…

Knowing she needed something, anything, to distract her, she picked up her phone and immediately started writing notes from the voicemails. There weren't enough of them though, and within just a few minutes she was finished. Her arousal was subsiding now, thank God, but she was still not going to pretend like everything was fine.

Smoothing out her blouse, she stood and reentered Santana's office. She marched right up to the desk, set the notes on the edge, and walked back out. She didn't say a word. It actually felt kinda good. The rest of the day passed this way, Brittany didn't speak if she didn't have to. She made sure not to look at Santana either, covertly or otherwise. If Santana wanted a professional relationship, that's what she'd get.

At five o'clock, she got up to inform Santana that she was leaving for the day. For some reason she didn't quite want to leave though. She kinda wanted to ignore Santana some more.

"Ms. Lopez… if there's nothing else I can do today, I'm going home now."

Santana had been pacing the room with one of her books when Brittany spoke. After Brittany finished, she sat the book down on her desk and silently walked over to stand in front of Brittany.

"You're calling me Ms. Lopez again."

"Is something wrong with that? I thought I was being _professional_."

Santana sighed and looked at the ground.

"I… I'm sorry about earlier. I shouldn't… I shouldn't have spoken to you like that."

She looked back up at Brittany, her dark brown eyes unreadable.

"You were asking me to do my job," Brittany replied flatly.

"Yes, but I was rather rude about it. And then you ignored me the rest of the day and I didn't… well, I didn't like it."

Brittany replayed the words over in her mind. Santana didn't like Brittany ignoring her. Her stomach squirmed with pleasure. But then she was confused again. Santana's mood swings were going to give her a headache.

"I don't understand you sometimes. Well, more than sometimes."

"I know."

A few moments of silence passed between them. Strangely Brittany didn't feel awkward, she just wanted to know more.

"You wanted me yesterday," she stated boldly.

"Brittany, I really don't think we should discuss—"

"Is it because you're my boss? Is that why you don't want to talk about it?"

Santana sighed again. "That's part of it." The brunette then shook her head as if trying to clear it before she started again.

"Look Brittany… it doesn't matter what I want. The fact remains that you're my receptionist and I'm your boss."

"So, you do want me?"

"I just said it doesn't matter. It doesn't change anything." Once again her eyes fell to the blonde's lips. Brittany was feeling warm again.

"It changes everything," Brittany replied. She took a step forward and reached for Santana's arms, letting each of her hands trace across the smooth skin. Santana's eyes closed at the contact.

"We can't… I mean… we have to stay professional," she said a little breathlessly. She reopened her eyes and watched Brittany's fingers trailing across her forearms. Tentatively, she took one of her own hands and reached up, pushing a little hair out of the blonde's eyes. Brittany's skin burned where Santana's fingertips brushed against it. No person she'd ever met before had this much effect on her.

Suddenly Santana had regained control over herself and withdrew her hand.

"Brittany… we have to stop."

"Neither of us want to," Brittany said quickly.

"That doesn't mean we shouldn't," her boss said sternly. "Maybe… maybe we can try to be friends."

Brittany didn't know what being friends with Santana Lopez would be like, but it had to be better than being strictly professional.

"Okay," she whispered. "Until tomorrow then," said the blonde, starting to turn away.

"Until tomorrow," replied Santana.

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I wanted to thank you all for the reviews you've left me so far. As for this chapter, I actually wrote several different versions of it, so I hope you like the one I went with! Let me know what you think (and what you want to see!) because I always appreciate reading your comments.

Also, I got a few pm's asking about the title/summary of the story... and I just wanted to say the reason for the title will become evident soon!

Until next time :)


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:**

**1. I just wanted to congratulate our Brittana fandom for coming in second place in the E! poll. We worked really hard!**

**2. eff you glee, you're a train wreck. having said that,**

**3. have some AU Brittana, i hope you like it and i hope you all had a happy valentine's day :)**

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As it turned out, the next day proved to be one of the most difficult Brittany had ever had at the firm. It started out promising enough. She got off the elevator with a sense of anticipation. Santana had admitted to wanting her. She had even had a hard time controlling herself the day before. And she had said they could try to be friends. Brittany had replayed the scene over so many times in her head it was like she could still feel the burn of Santana's fingertips sweeping across her forehead. It had been such a delicate gesture; Brittany was really starting to love those little moments when her boss's outer shell started to crack.

She was very curious about what today would be like, now that everything was pretty much out in the open. She was not at all prepared for what the day had in store for her.

When Brittany rounded the last corner where her desk and Santana's office were located, she immediately looked in to give a quick hello. She felt mildly disappointed when Santana was nowhere to be found, but since the lights were on as usual, she just assumed her boss was somewhere around the building and would be back soon. Seating herself at her desk, she began checking voicemails as was her morning routine. The first message wasn't even halfway through when Santana came around the corner and instantly diverted the blonde's attention.

The rest of the message went unheard. Brittany even forgot she was holding the receiver, and sat with it still held up to her ear long after the message had finished playing. Santana Lopez had ditched the power suit today, in exchange for a gray pencil skirt and black button down tucked into it. The first couple of buttons at the top were left open, and the shirt parted in that perfect way again to show off her cleavage. Brittany didn't even care that she was staring, and she blatantly let her eyes slowly roam down Santana's body. The woman's flat stomach, her perfect ass in that very tight skirt, and then her legs. Oh God, her tan skin looked wonderful, and her high-heeled pumps were showing off exactly how toned she was.

Her boss came to stand in front of Brittany's desk with a very knowing smirk in place.

"Good morning, Brittany. Something wrong?"

It was then that Brittany realized she was still holding the silent phone to her ear. Oh, and that her jaw was hanging open. Smooth.

"I… no… nothing wrong… just checking voicemails. I'll have them done in a moment."

Santana's smirk grew wider. "I don't hear anyone talking through the receiver."

"Erm… yes, well… I—"

"Do you stare at all of your friends like that? Or is it just for me?" Santana raised an eyebrow at the blonde playfully. Brittany could feel her cheeks starting to flush. Fuck. Santana was smiling down at her with a very mischievous grin.

"Do you torture all of your friends like this? Or is that just for me?" Brittany smiled up at the woman in front of her. If this was being friends, she'd take it.

"And how exactly am I torturing you, Brittany? I've only just walked around the corner."

"I could tell you… but I don't think it would exactly be… friendly."

"I'll just assume I know what you mean then." Santana said while starting to turn towards her office. "I'll just be in my office… you can get me those voicemails after you've finished."

"You better stay in there if you want me to finish anytime soon…" Brittany muttered to herself under her breath.

"Sorry… did you say something?" Santana asked from the doorway.

"Nothing… nothing…" Brittany said smiling playfully back. She was sure Santana heard her.

Five minutes later, the blonde was once more handing notes over to her boss, who was sitting back casually in her desk chair listening to Brittany's summation of the voicemails. She was pushed slightly back from the desk, and Brittany had a full view of the brunette's crossed legs. It was more than distracting.

"…and… uh Ms. Cooper will be in at 10… no 11… yes, 11," said Brittany quickly as she checked her own notes. "Then you don't have another appointment until—" she stopped mid-sentence. Santana had just uncrossed her legs and recrossed them. What Brittany wouldn't give to find out just how smooth her skin really was… She shook her head to clear her thoughts. "…until 2."

God, Santana turned her into an idiot sometimes. The blonde made a hasty retreat from the office before she could stutter out anything else that would embarrass her.

* * *

The one good thing about Santana's appointments: she really concentrated on her client while they were in her office. Which meant that Brittany had free reign to stare all she wanted. She loved watching her. Her brows were constantly furrowed as she listened intently to her client. Her hand was constantly racing across the notepad in front of her, feverishly taking notes on everything the client was saying. She gave her input when necessary and when she assertively stated her intended course of action for the case, Brittany could easily see why Santana had gotten a reputation so quickly. She was aggressive, bold, and unyielding. God, she was hot.

After Brittany saw out the last of Santana's clients for the day, she reentered her boss's office to announce she'd be leaving soon. The brunette was still jotting notes about her current case.

Brittany leaned against the doorframe and cleared her throat.

"You write down everything, don't you?"

Santana finished her sentence and set her pen down. "It's the only way to get by. If you write your thoughts down, it's easier to remember what you need to say later." Santana leaned back in her chair again and surveyed Brittany.

"And… what are your thoughts right now?" Brittany asked quietly.

A smirk played across Santana's face. "I'm afraid I'm not at liberty to discuss it. Confidentiality and all that, you know."

"You're thinking about your case?" Brittany asked incredulously.

"Nope," Santana said with a wicked grin. Then she sat up again and resumed an air of normalcy, shuffling papers and putting them in stacks. After she piled a few together, she held them out for Brittany to take.

"These are a few tentative dates I'm thinking of to meet again with today's appointments. Will you add them to your calendar?"

"Of course." Brittany walked forward to take the papers, and when she did she noticed that the side of Santana's hand looked completely bruised. She set down the pen she was holding and immediately took the woman's hand into both of her own.

"Santana… what the hell did you do?"

"Huh?" her boss asked, looking utterly bewildered. She looked down at their joined hands, and the black discoloration on her hand.

"Oh… it's because I'm left-handed. I can't write anything without my hand dragging across the ink. My hand is always black at the end of the day. Or blue. Or red. Or whichever color I felt like writing with," she finished and looked up smiling at Brittany.

Brittany smiled back. Duh, she knew Santana was left-handed. It was one of the things she discovered early in her reconnaissance work. The blonde looked back down. She still hadn't let go of Santana's hand. She let her thumb lightly trace over the smudged black ink. Her skin was warm and soft as usual. As much as she didn't want to, she decided to fight every urge her body was giving her, and she let the brunette's hand fall.

"I'll just put these in the calendar real quick."

She couldn't be sure, but it looked like just maybe Santana's face had fallen just a little bit when Brittany had let go. It made Brittany's heart flutter weakly. Damn.

"You can go ahead and go home after that."

It didn't take long to add the dates into the calendar, as there were only a handful to add. When she finished she reached under her desk to grab her purse and keys. When she straightened back out, Santana was standing next to her, holding out a pen Brittany recognized as her own.

"I think you left this in my office," Santana said softly.

Completely ignoring the pen and any logical response to what Santana just said, Brittany blurted the first thing that came to mind.

"Would you like to get dinner with me tonight?"

Santana smiled and set the pen down on Brittany's desk.

"I don't think that's such a good idea."

"Friends can have dinner with each other."

Santana seemed to be considering her. Her jaw was clenching and unclenching as she stared down at the blonde. Fuck she's hot. Then she leaned down and placed her hands on both of Brittany's armrests, trapping Brittany between her and the chair. Their faces were mere inches apart. The next thing Brittany knew, Santana was closer to her than she'd been since falling asleep on her during the snowstorm. She leaned to the side and whispered softly into the blonde's ear; her warm breath tickled her skin and sent shivers down her spine.

"It's hard enough to behave here, don't you think?"

And then she started to pull away, letting the tip of her nose graze the shell of Brittany's ear as she left. With one of her hands, she let her fingertips drag slowly down Brittany's arm right before she turned and walked away.

Holy fucking shit. Brittany's heart started to pound. No, in between her legs was starting to pound. Fuck it all, everything was pulsing.

Santana was already reseated in her desk chair by the time Brittany pulled it together enough to stand up. As she uncrossed her legs, the little bit of friction against her crotch made the pulsing all the more exquisite.

Standing in the doorway once more, she managed to get out one sentence.

"You have my number… if you change your mind."

With that she turned her back on Santana without waiting for a response.

* * *

Back at home and in her comfy sweats, Brittany couldn't stop thinking about her day at work. Santana Lopez had to be the sexiest thing she'd ever seen in her fucking life, and she couldn't get over how easily the woman turned her on. Trying desperately to distract herself, she lazed around on her couch watching TV… she tried reading a magazine… nothing worked. She just kept getting more and more frustrated. Santana was going to make her explode one day. She knew it.

Deciding that Santana was not, in fact, going to take her up on her dinner offer, Brittany made a quick dinner for herself before resuming her place on the couch. The show she was trying to watch was failing miserably at keeping her attention and once again she found herself thinking of Santana.

Her toned legs in that skirt… God, that ass…

The pounding was starting to come back again. Without even the conscious decision to do it, Brittany turned onto her back and let her hand glide down her body to slip underneath the band in her sweatpants. Her fingertips quickly met the sticky heat that was already seeping through her panties and Brittany lightly started rubbing herself through them.

_"It's hard enough to behave here, don't you think?"_

Brittany heard Santana's words in her head again and it fueled her further. She pulled her hand back up a few inches only to dip back down again, this time under her panties. Everything was intensified. The heat, the wetness, God the feeling. Brittany allowed a few seconds to tease herself, lightly drawing circles around her clit with two fingers. She knew she wouldn't last long though… the pounding was becoming harder and harder. To keep herself going a little longer, she dropped her fingers to between her folds. They were completely drenched within seconds.

Bringing her free hand up to her breast, she cupped it kinda forcefully over her t-shirt. It only turned her on more. Bringing her hand back up, and with one last swipe across her clit, she thought of Santana's nose grazing against her ear as she whispered to her earlier… and she plunged two fingers deep into herself. She wanted to explode right then, but she held on a little longer, working her fingers inside herself. All it finally took was one good thrust, and Brittany felt the tension that had been building up in her stomach start to crumble. She fell over the edge, feeling her own walls clamp down on her fingers as she rode out her orgasm.

She lay there for a few minutes afterward, letting her aftershocks subside. Gently she pulled out her fingers and went to wash her hands in the sink. After she'd finished, she stood in her kitchen feeling mildly stunned. She honestly was not the kind to masturbate very often… and on those rare occasions when she did, she usually liked to work up to it a lot more. She had no idea why Santana had this effect on her… but she was feeling pretty alive now that she'd relieved herself.

Deciding to go out and grab a coffee (and kinda hoping she'd see Santana since she'd ran into her there before), Brittany changed into more presentable clothes and made her way to the coffee shop. When she arrived, she was disappointed not to find Santana, but she knew the odds were slim and decided to get the coffee she came for anyway.

Instead of taking it with her, she made her way over to an empty booth next to a window facing the street. She felt so mellowed out now that it was quite enjoyable to sit sipping her coffee and watching the people walk by. Brittany sat there for at least an hour, her coffee long gone and the coffee shop much more empty.

When she finally decided to leave and head back home, she picked up her jacket that she'd thrown into the booth with her. What she found underneath was a brown leather book. She picked it up and examined it briefly. It had no cover, and was worn and weathered with age. Brittany immediately recognized it as some kind of journal. Without any good reason why, without even opening it, she tucked it under her arm and took it home with her. She didn't know then that by finding it, everything was about to change. Again.

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leave comments if you like!


	6. Chapter 6

Brittany entered the skyscraper the following morning thinking of the previous night. She'd gotten home, hung her jacket on the hook by the door, and sat down on her couch with the journal. Examining the outside more thoroughly, she realized that it must be very old indeed. The spine of it was cracked in several places, and the mesh binding was showing through. But the worn leather was soft under her fingertips, almost cloth-like. She had flicked through the pages quickly to find that over half of it was filled with someone else's writing, but for some reason she couldn't bring herself to read any of it. Reading another person's journal would be rude. Then again, she _had_ just stolen another person's journal. Wasn't that just as bad?

Brittany Pierce didn't know why she'd felt compelled to bring it home. She just knew she didn't want to leave it in that lonely booth. She'd ended up leaving it on her coffee table, deciding to figure out what to do with it later.

Bringing herself back to the present, she stepped off the elevator. She was feeling confident today. Santana had definitely teased her to the breaking point yesterday, and Brittany decided to turn the tables this morning. She'd gone with a power suit of her own (only one of two that she owned), but she wore it well. The black slacks hugged her ass in just the right way and then fell straight down, showing off the tips of her bright red pumps. The light gray button down she had tucked in was very similar to the ones Santana always wore; the ones that made her stomach feel jittery. Her hair had also decided to play along this morning, and was falling in loose curls down her back. Yeah, she felt good today.

She was already smiling before she'd even rounded the last corner, but her smile vanished as soon as she saw her desk and was replaced by a look of confusion. Santana was sitting in Brittany's desk chair with her head bent over a book. Brittany quickly looked to Santana's office to find the door shut. She was growing more confused by the second.

"Um, good morning?" she half-said, half-asked.

Santana looked up at the sound of Brittany's voice and a profound look of relief washed over her face.

"Brittany," she said with a huge sigh, "thank God you're here." She stood up from Brittany's desk and walked straight to the blonde, clasping both of Brittany's wrists. Her hands were warm and soft as usual. Brittany liked when Santana initiated contact.

"Santana, what's going on? Are you locked out of your office or something?" Brittany asked, nodding her head towards the closed office door.

Santana looked down like she was embarrassed.

"I think the cleaning lady must have come in last night after I left…"

This was not was Brittany was expecting to hear. Not at all.

"Okayyyy, and did she lock you out?" Brittany asked, still confused. Santana's grip on her wrists tightened just a little before she next spoke.

"Brittany… she left the blinds open. All the way open."

She raised her dark brown eyes back up to Brittany's. She looked embarrassed, frightened, vulnerable. She was adorable. Brittany wanted to hug her.

Brittany smiled down at her. "I'll go close them."

She gently removed her hands from Santana's grasp and opened the office door. Sure enough, the blinds were pushed all the way to both walls, and the room was flooded with early morning light. She looked back to see Santana looking away, clearly avoiding looking into the room.

Brittany walked up to the blinds on the left side and began to close them, but as she brought them towards the center, she looked out on New York City. The sun hadn't been up long, the light was still more of a reddish gold than yellow, and it reflected in all the glass windows of the other buildings, turning them all gold. Once again, a beautiful scene was unfolding and Santana was missing it. She went to the other side and pulled those blinds towards the center too, but she left a small gap and turned around. Santana was standing at the door frame, looking at her standing in the sunlight.

"Would you like to see something beautiful?" Brittany asked the brunette.

Santana hesitated before answering. "You know I don't like heights."

"I also know you _did_ like looking out at the snow that day. It was amazing to see, and so is this."

Santana still hadn't budged.

"Please. I want you see it."

The brunette clenched her jaw once and walked towards her, stopping very close. Brittany could almost feel an electric current between the small space separating them. She fought and resisted the urge to touch her again. She nodded her head towards the window and Santana took one deep breath and looked out. Brittany watched her closely. The reflected sunlight in her eyes made them look even more beautiful. Her jet black hair seemed to have strands of red in it. She looked glorious.

"Thank you," she said quietly to Brittany, still looking out at the city.

"For what?" Brittany asked, not taking her eyes off the woman.

"For closing these, first. But then for showing me this. I… I mean… I guess it doesn't seem as bad when it's so pretty." She pulled her eyes away from the window and up into Brittany's, and then her eyes travelled swiftly down Brittany's body. It was then that she seemed to finally notice what Brittany was wearing. She took a step back and cleared her throat and attempted a neutral tone of voice.

"Erm… you look… nice today."

Brittany smiled playfully. "Are you saying I don't look nice on other days?"

"Oh, um… no… You look good then too. Well, not good, but you know… I mean… you look nice then too. I just said s-something about it t-today, when on other days I don't and… stuff."

Brittany's smile grew wider. Flustered Santana was probably her new favorite thing.

She leaned in toward her boss and whispered quietly, "You're cute when you stutter."

Leaning back again, she saw Santana's jaw drop just a little bit. Sweet satisfaction.

"I'm gonna go check the voicemails now," Brittany said casually. Santana did nothing but nod.

Upon reentering her office, Brittany noticed that Santana seemed to be a little more composed. At least, on the outside anyway. She also noticed that Santana had actually left that little bit of space between the blinds open. It made her smile.

"You don't have any client meetings today, but obviously you do have an associates meeting at noon, since it's Friday."

"Right. Thank you."

Brittany started to turn away but Santana stopped her.

"Brittany?"

"Mmm?"

"Were you trying to tease me earlier?"

Brittany brought her arms to her chest and crossed them. Santana's face was completely unreadable, but her voice sounded almost playful. Brittany decided to go bold.

"Did you feel teased?" Brittany asked, quirking an eyebrow.

Santana stood up from her desk and walked around it to come stand in front of Brittany. When she spoke, her voice was much lower than usual, more raspy. More dangerous.

"You will lose this game."

Holy sweet fuck. Brittany wanted desperately to say something witty back, but nothing would come out and then Santana was looking down at her lips again and it was getting hotter in the room. The back of her neck started to feel a little sweaty. She wiped at it with her hand and took a deep breath.

"And… what game are we playing?"

Santana smiled an evil smile at these words. "The one where we try to out-tease each other."

Brittany gulped. Yes, it was definitely warmer in this room.

"And… what happens when… when somebody loses?"

Santana leaned in closer and let just her forefinger travel down Brittany's arm in a zigzagging pattern.

"Somebody will be you. You will lose control. It will be up to me to stop you."

The heat between Brittany's legs was growing warmer. She could feel her heartbeat in her ears.

"You seem very confident." On some level, Brittany was a little surprised her voice wasn't shaking yet.

Santana just smiled in response and turned away to walk back to her desk. She let her finger trail Brittany's skin until she couldn't reach it anymore. The blonde's knees actually felt weak. Legitimate weak fucking knees. A small voice in her head was telling her Santana was probably right. She turned into mush practically every time the woman even looked at her a certain way. But she'd at least put up a good fight first. She made her way to the door of the office and turned around.

"Santana?"

"Mmm?"

"Don't count me out just yet."

Santana smiled back as if inviting the challenge.

* * *

Brittany's Friday actually turned into one large disappointment. Santana's associates meeting literally ended up taking the majority of the afternoon, and by the time she got back from it, Brittany would be leaving soon. At five o'clock she scooped her keys up and was about to grab her bag from under the desk, but she stopped before she got there. Santana had pulled out her own purse and seemed to be digging through it hastily. Her face looked concerned as she set her purse back down and started looking through her desk drawers. Brittany got up to see what was going on.

"Missing something?" she asked from the doorway.

"Wha—? Oh… I, uh… no. Must have left it… back home," she said as she snapped shut the last desk drawer.

"What are you looking for?"

"Oh… um it's nothing. I'm sure it's at home." Santana said with a strained smile. "Going home?"

"Yes. Would you like to join me?" Brittany asked as nonchalantly as possible.

Santana quirked an eyebrow at these words.

"I was thinking about ordering a pizza, that's all. This isn't an invitation to come back and… do anything, Santana."

"You know nothing can happen, right?" she asked seriously.

Brittany took a deep breath before speaking next. "I think some would argue that something has already happened," she said quietly, looking at Santana from underneath her eyelashes.

"Flirting and teasing isn't anything," Santana responded quickly. "But that's all it can be."

"Because you're my boss?"

Santana sighed and looked down. "Because I'm your boss."

Brittany began to feel frustrated, in the bad kind of way. "Santana, you're a logical person. If having a relationship with colleagues is out-of-bounds, then surely flirting and teasing is too. Don't you think? What difference does it make?"

Santana stood up and walked around her desk slowly towards Brittany, like she was concentrating hard on every step. When she finally reached the blonde, she lifted her right hand towards Brittany's face, but hesitated, letting her hand linger in midair. Steeling herself, she lifted her hand higher and again brushed the hair out of Brittany's eyes like she had before.

"Such a gorgeous shade of blue," Santana whispered quietly, letting her finger trace Brittany's jawbone.

Brittany could feel her heart slamming against her ribs, trying to make its escape.

"Santana…" Brittany said, taking a step forward.

But the woman instantly backed away, once again showing Brittany nothing but her hardened exterior.

"We can't Brittany. We just… can't."

Brittany opened her mouth, but she had no idea what she was going to say. Santana saved her the trouble anyway.

"Enjoy your pizza… and your weekend. I'll see you Monday."

With that she turned her back on Brittany and sat back down at her desk.

Brittany turned away and walked out of the office, quickly snatching up her keys and heading for the elevator. By the time the metals doors finally closed shut, Brittany could feel a slight prickling behind her eyes, like just maybe, just maybe, she wanted to cry.

* * *

Arriving home, the first thing she saw when she walked in the door was the old journal lying on the coffee table. Without really knowing why, she marched over to the couch and scooped up the journal and a pen laying on a nearby end table. Rapidly flicking through the pages, she found the first blank one, clicked her pen, and began to write.

_Dear Stranger,_

_I found your journal yesterday in a coffee shop and decided to take it with me. If you decide to go back looking for it, I'm sorry. I promise not to read any of what you wrote. Your thoughts will still remain a secret._

Brittany paused in her writing, feeling good about at least not invading the other person's privacy. Then she bent over the book and continued.

_I've never really written in a journal before… but I don't know what else to do now. I have to say something… I have to tell someone… even if it is just a stranger's diary. I met someone recently. Well actually, she's my new boss. In one way, she's really easy to work for. She isn't demanding. She doesn't really even depend on me at all. At the same time though, she's the hardest person I've ever had to work for. She's beautiful. She jumbles my thoughts just by looking at me. I've never met anyone like her before._

_Journal, I don't understand her. She confuses with me with nearly everything she says and does. I know she wants me. She's told me as much, but she says nothing can happen because she's my boss. But the longer time goes on, the more I think it's not just that. I wish she'd just let me in. As much as I want her, I also strangely want to know her. Everything there is to know. Which is weird, because she is the opposite of inviting. I think she's driving me crazy._

_All I know now is this: she's pulling me in without trying and she's right about one thing. It won't be long before I lose control._

_ Until next time,  
Brittany_

Brittany snapped shut the journal, feeling a little bit better. And a little bit worse.

* * *

Thank you for all the reviews you've given me so far. I really enjoy reading them and it's nice to know someone out there likes what I'm writing! Hoping you all have had a wonderful Monday. Until next time :)


	7. Chapter 7

Confusion over Santana did nothing for Brittany's appetite. Instead of ordering her pizza like she had originally planned, she actually ended up doing nothing. She sat around on her couch thinking of Santana and wondering what could possibly have made the woman the way she was. There's no way a person is that distant and toughened without a catalyst. Something must have happened to make Santana that way. The cynical part of Brittany's mind, the part that often kept quiet, kept whispering to her that she'd probably never find out. That she and Santana would always be what they are now: simple strangers who work together. Then why did Brittany feel so… desperate to know her? Fine, she'd never know Santana as more than her very hot, very mysterious boss. But why did that bother her so much? She drove herself crazy running in circles in her mind, never finding answers, never finding satisfaction. She could feel and hear her stomach start to grumble, but she didn't feel the hunger that usually went with it so she ignored it. Eventually she decided to take a hot bath, and that maybe then she'd be relaxed enough to fall asleep afterward.

Letting the hot water run, she sat on the edge of the bathtub still lost in thought. She looked at the candles that sat at the corners, and thought back to the day Santana Lopez stayed with her to wait out a snowstorm. She thought of Santana's head on her shoulder, her body nestled up next to hers. She thought of wrapping a blanket around the woman's shoulders, and that brief moment of anticipation when she knew she was about to feel Santana's lips for the first time. She wished the moment had lasted longer. Just as she could feel her cheeks warming up (and not from the steam rising out of the tub), she remembered the moment Santana regained control. The moment she became cold and aloof once again. She suddenly didn't want to wait any longer to get in, and so Brittany shut off the water with one quick spin. The abrupt silence felt awkward, even if she was all by herself.

She lowered herself into the water slowly, letting her skin adjust to the hot temperature. When she was finally seated, she leaned back against the tub and closed her eyes. She immediately felt her muscles start to loosen. She hadn't even realized how tense they were to begin with. She tried to let her thoughts wander, to think of anything other than the secretive brunette that lately dominated her mind. It didn't really work. As little as Brittany knew about the woman, Santana still gave her too much to wonder over. Eventually the water started losing some of its heat, and Brittany got out. The hot water had done its job, and Brittany could feel her eyelids growing heavier. After drying off, she marched straight to her bed and tucked herself in without even putting any clothes on. Her skin was still warm from the bath and within minutes she was sound asleep. Her subconscious finally gave her the break she'd been seeking all evening, and miraculously she slept without dreaming of Santana Lopez.

* * *

Saturday didn't really bring any change to Brittany's mood. She stayed in bed until almost noon, and when she finally got out it was only to throw on some sweats and relocate to the couch. She kept eyeing her phone laying on the coffee table, once or twice even picking it up, but she set it back down every time. Santana had made it pretty clear that she didn't want a relationship outside of work; even if she had said they could try to be friends. Brittany supposed Santana didn't really do friendship either, not with her anyway. Halfway through the evening, instead of reaching for the phone to write a text she wouldn't send, Brittany picked up the journal instead. Again, she passed by all the other pages full of thoughts and feelings that didn't belong to her. She found the next clean page after her last entry and wrote one simple sentence.

_Dear Journal,_

_I think I miss her._

_Love,_

_Brittany_

She stared at her own handwriting. God, how pathetic. For no reason whatsoever should she be missing Santana right now. She was starting to feel angry at herself. She stood up from the couch, but she had no idea what she was about to do. Right at that moment though, her stomach decided to give its loudest rumble yet. Realizing it was almost dinner time, and that she hadn't eaten since lunch yesterday, Brittany picked up her phone again and finally made a call. She ordered the pizza she was going to order yesterday. After she hung up, she decided to take a quick shower to freshen herself up. She really didn't know why she cared since she wasn't going out anywhere, but she didn't want to feel like a complete bum all day. After her shower, she threw her wet hair into a braid and put some fresh clothes on.

There. Now she didn't feel like such a loser. Just when she tossed her old sweats into the laundry basket she heard a knock at her apartment door, signaling the arrival of her pizza. She rushed back to her bedroom to retrieve her purse, but when she got there it was nowhere to be found. Running back to the front door, she opened it to find a pimply teenage boy in a stupid looking baseball cap and uniform. The cap had a picture of a slice of pizza stitched in the front. Randomly she thought of how she was glad her job let her wear nice clothes.

"Hey… sorry just one second," she said to the boy before he could say anything.

Then she turned around and raced into her kitchen, checking the counter for her purse. Again, she couldn't find it. She turned the corner to check the coffee table when she saw the journal sitting neatly where she'd left it. It made her think of Santana. How she missed her.

How she'd run out almost crying yesterday because Santana was so cold and distant…

With a soft "Oh!" she remembered where her purse was. Under her desk on the 17th floor of the skyscraper. She'd left so quickly yesterday, she had completely forgotten to grab her bag, and had only retrieved her keys which had been waiting on top of the desk.

"Shit," she mumbled under her breath. She looked to the door and the pizza boy. He was looking at her with mild curiosity, and also maybe with a little appreciation. She gave him an apologetic look and asked for one more second.

Racing back to her bedroom again, she grabbed a twenty from a little change jar she kept on her dresser, completely grateful that she always kept a little bit of cash at her apartment. After paying the boy, she took the pizza and closed the door. She really didn't see the point in retrieving her purse right that second… there was no reason it wouldn't be there after she'd eaten her dinner. Two slices and a happy stomach later, she was ready to leave. Quickly she threw some shoes on and made her way out.

A security guard always stayed in the lobby of the building, whether it was a weekend day or the middle of the night, so she was pretty sure she'd be able to get up to her desk and get her bag. Sure enough, when she entered the building a big burly man stood in front of the entrance to the elevators. He must only work weekends, because Brittany had never seen him before.

"Hi, um… I'm Brittany… I'm a receptionist here. I think I left my bag here yesterday when I left," she said nervously. He was such a large man, but when he looked down at her his eyes seemed kind.

"Oh, I'm sorry about that," he said nicely. "Do you have any form of ID?"

"Um… no, it's in my bag upstairs."

The man pulled out a piece of paper from his back pocket. "What did you say your name was?"

"Brittany. Brittany Pierce. I work for Santana Lopez on the 17th floor."

The man stopped looking down at his paper to look back up at Brittany.

"Oh! You work for Ms. Lopez? I didn't even realize she had a receptionist."

Brittany had no idea what to make of that statement. This man clearly knew Santana. But why wouldn't she have a receptionist? Every attorney here had one. She tried to play off her confusion by nodding along quickly with the security guard. He looked back down at his paper and quickly found her name on it.

"Yes, I see your name here. You can go ahead and go up, but would you mind terribly showing me your ID on your way out?"

"Oh, no that will be fine. Thank you."

Walking past the man, she quickly hit the button for the elevator. One opened immediately, since hardly anyone was here today. When she got out at the 17th floor, she felt a small sense of sadness. She was quite used to getting off this elevator and seeing Santana's face seconds afterwards. Today she had nothing to look forward to but reunion with her purse, another encounter with a very strange security guard, and then a lonely date with her couch and TV.

Yes. This kind of sucked.

When she rounded the last corner, it was with a great deal of shock (and a little bit of excitement) that she saw Santana's door open and the lights on. Wondering what in the hell the woman could be doing here, she looked into the office. What she saw in there shocked her even more.

Santana Lopez was sitting in her chair, but her cheek was resting flat against the wood surface of her desk. She had no books out, no notes, no folders. Her desk was clear, and there she was with her head down doing nothing. It was hard to tell, but Brittany thought her eyes might not even be open.

"Um, Santana?" Brittany asked from the doorway.

The woman didn't even startle at the sound of someone else's voice. She picked her head up slowly and looked blearily at Brittany. When she recognized the blonde, a dopey smile appeared on her face.

"Hey, Brittany. Whatchu doin' here?"

Becoming more confused by the second, Brittany entered the room further and looked down into Santana's eyes. Her focus seemed very fuzzy, and the dark circles that were always under her eyes seemed darker today.

"Santana… when's the last time you slept? You look..." but Brittany couldn't finish the sentence. She didn't know how Santana looked. Tired didn't quite cover it.

Santana sighed and furrowed her eyebrows, like she was thinking hard about her answer. Finally she looked up at Brittany and said sadly, "I don't know."

"What are you doing here then? You should go home and rest."

Santana mumbled something out in response, and it all seemed slurred together but Brittany thought she heard the words "don't want to" mixed in there.

Without warning, Santana stood up from her desk and walked around it to stand in front of Brittany. She was definitely standing a bit closer than usual.

"What're _you_ doing here?" she asked, and she reached out and took Brittany's hand.

Brittany looked down at their hands and then back up at Santana. Her dopey smile was back and she seemed to be wobbling just slightly.

"I forgot my purse yesterday. Santana… are you… are you drunk?"

The brunette's smile grew wider. "Ahh, that is the question. By legal standards, or social ones?" she asked with mock seriousness.

"Santana, you should go home. Why are you drinking at work?"

Santana raised an eyebrow and let go of Brittany's hand, walking back around her desk. Bending over, she pulled out of a bottom drawer a plain glass bottle, with a glass stopper. Inside, it was about halfway filled with amber brown liquid.

Santana looked down at the bottle, then up at Brittany with a mischievous grin on her face.

"I wonder which one of you tastes better?" she asked quietly.

Oh fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. It took about .25 seconds for Brittany's cheeks to feel flushed. What she'd give to hear Santana say that when her inhibitions weren't lowered with alcohol. Also, it should definitely be illegal for a person to be that completely intoxicating on their own.

Brittany had no response to Santana's question. She didn't even open her mouth to try. After a few seconds the brunette took her hands off the bottle and walked back up to Brittany. Putting her hands on Brittany's hips, she brought her lips to the blonde's ear.

"My money's on you," she whispered. Her lips brushed Brittany's ear as she spoke. Brittany was about to explode. Any second. Internal combustion was about to take effect.

"Shit, Santana."

"You know," Santana said with her lips still at Brittany's ear, "if you decided to lose control now, I wouldn't tell anybody."

Brittany desperately wanted to give in. With Santana's hands at her waist, and her lips still brushing against her ear, she really had no idea how she didn't just say fuck it all and give in. But a little voice inside her head reminded her that Santana was definitely drunk, by both social and probably legal standards.

"Santana… come on. You can't stay here. You can come home with me."

Detaching herself from the brunette's grip, Brittany quickly walked out to her own desk and grabbed her purse, which was lying exactly where she'd left it yesterday. When she went back for Santana, the woman held her hand out like a child. Brittany gently took it and walked with her to the elevator. Thankfully she seemed to be able to walk in a relatively straight line.

"Santana, I have to show my ID to the security guard downstairs. You need to try and pretend to be sober, k?"

"Mmm hmm," Santana said, starting to sway again. Brittany supposed standing still was the challenge here, not walking. When they got off the elevator, the security guard turned around and smiled at Santana. He obviously recognized her.

"Hello, Ms. Lopez. Calling it an early night?"

Early? Brittany tried to think of what time it was. It had to be at past eight. Did she come here all the time on weekends?

"Yep. Brittany says I can't stay here any longer," Santana said somberly. If Brittany wasn't so confused at what the hell was going on, she might find Santana's impression of sober quite funny. Her face was completely serious and she looked as if she'd been reprimanded by a parent.

"That's nice of you to get her out of here," the guard said to Brittany. "She never leaves, does she?"

"I guess not…" Brittany said as she started to walk with Santana toward the door. Remembering she needed to show the man her ID, she paused and quickly fished it out of her purse. He hardly even looked at it when she showed him, but instead spoke again to Santana.

"Have a good night, Ms. Lopez."

"You too, Eric. See you next weekend."

Yes, apparently she is here every weekend. What the hell?

Taking Santana's arm in what she hoped was a casual gesture, she marched them towards the revolving doors, and out into the cool winter air.

* * *

Once out in the street, Santana gave up on her sober charade and walked closer to Brittany, taking her hand again like it was a perfectly normal thing to do.

"Your hands are always warm, did you know that?" she asked genuinely.

Brittany was taken off guard. It was exactly what she'd been thinking of Santana at the same moment.

"So… do you wanna tell me what the hell you're doing in your office on a Saturday night, drinking alone?" the blonde asked, looking down at Santana as they skirted through the New York night life.

"Not really," Santana said simply.

Brittany huffed a sigh and tried again. "Well why don't you tell me anyway?"

"You wouldn't understand."

"Humor me, would you?"

This time it was Santana's turn to sigh and she took her eyes off Brittany to look ahead.

"Look, I just… I don't like going home okay?"

"Why?"

"Can we not go there?" Santana asked sharply.

Brittany decided to give up and try a new tack.

"Well… will you tell me why you aren't sleeping then?"

Santana started tracing her thumb along the back of Brittany's hand. It felt so good Brittany almost didn't hear what Santana responded with.

"I don't sleep very well. So I sort of just gave up on trying."

Brittany couldn't tell what was sadder. What Santana said or the very straightforward way in which she said it.

"You seemed to sleep just fine when… when you were at my place." She had had to stop herself from saying "when you fell asleep on me." She didn't want to do anything to trigger Santana's defenses.

"Yes… I… I don't know why that is."

Brittany thought for a few moments. They were almost at her apartment building.

"So… just to be clear: You don't really like going home, so you spend way too much time at the office where you apparently sometimes drink alone. Also, you don't sleep well ever, so you don't really try anymore. Except you did sleep well when you were with me. Is all that correct?"

"You make me sound so pathetic," Santana responded. They were entering Brittany's building.

"Is that what it sounded like to you? I thought you just sounded in need of a friend," Brittany shot back quickly.

"I think we found the optimist among us."

When they entered Brittany's apartment, Santana didn't hesitate in the doorway as she had before. She immediately took her shoes off and went straight back to Brittany's bedroom. Brittany followed her, amused and curious.

When Brittany arrived, Santana was waiting, facing her.

"You almost killed my buzz, you know," she said with a grin.

"My apologies," Brittany responded, grinning back.

Santana marched forward with a determined look. Just that alone was almost enough to completely enchant Brittany.

"Where were we before? Somewhere… around here?" Santana asked, bringing her hands back up to Brittany's hips. This time she let her fingertips slip under Brittany's t-shirt, lightly tracing her skin. The internal combustion feeling was coming back quickly.

"You're going to kill me," Brittany said aloud. Her voice was staggered and weak.

"Which means you should probably stop fighting it," the brunette said seductively.

Well, that sounds wonderful.

Brittany raised her hands to Santana's button down. Though her voice had been shaky, her hands were steady. She looked into Santana's eyes as she undid the top two buttons. When she looked down she could see the tops of a baby blue bra peeking out the woman's shirt. It was a wonderful contrast against her caramel skin.

When she looked back up, Santana was still watching her with hooded eyes.

"Keep going," she commanded. Her voice was firm and Brittany could feel wetness rush into her panties. But then, when every fiber of her body wanted to comply, that tiny voice in her head reminded her that Santana was under the influence. Knowing how she'd feel afterward if she continued, she clenched her jaw and took a step back.

"Damn it, Santana. We can't. I can't."

Santana looked confused at Brittany's words. It was a huge change from her amazing confidence she had just seconds before.

"You don't want this?"

"Santana… I do. You have no idea."

"Well I'm right here," she said and took the step forward that Brittany had taken back.

"You've been drinking. I can't."

Santana sighed and looked down. "You're so frustrating."

"That must be really annoying," Brittany said, half to herself. She saw Santana smirk though.

"Look, why don't you let me get you some clothes to change into. And then you can get some rest."

"In… in your bed?"

"Yes, I'm not going to make you sleep on the couch."

"Will you… will you get in with me?"

Brittany thought for a moment. In bed. With Santana fucking Lopez. Fuck.

"If you promise to behave."

"Scout's honor," Santana said goofily.

Brittany gave her a small smile and went to the dresser for some pajamas.

"Here take these. I'm going to go get you some water."

When she returned with the glass, Santana was already under the covers waiting for her. Seeing the woman in her bed did not help with her "good behavior" attitude. She set the glass on the nightstand beside her.

"Drink some of this, okay? For me?"

Santana grabbed the glass and took a few tentative sips. Good enough. Brittany grabbed some pajamas of her own and took them into the bathroom to change. When she was finally crawling in the bed she felt a little nervous. How was one supposed to sleep next to this beautiful creature?

After she'd turned the bedside lamp out, she felt Santana's hand sneak over and take hers under the covers.

"Brittany?"

"Mmm?"

"You're… well… thanks."

Brittany smiled in the dark.

"You're welcome, Santana."

Santana still hadn't let go of the blonde's hand.

"Oh, and Brittany?"

"Mmm?"

"Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Santana."

* * *

How much time had passed? An hour? Five? Ten minutes? Brittany wasn't really even sure if she'd fallen asleep in that time. She was hyper aware of Santana sleeping next to her. At some point Santana's grip had fallen slack and she'd let go of Brittany's hand. But her arm still remained close enough to brush against Brittany's.

Brittany thought maybe she'd have a better chance at sleeping if she turned her back on the woman, so as gently as possible, she flipped over. She immediately missed the little bit of contact they'd shared before. She even considered turning back over, sleep be damned. But she felt Santana rustling and thought she'd woken her when she turned over. Brittany felt terrible for waking her up. She knew now that Santana hardly ever slept.

She was therefore very shocked when she felt the woman scoot up behind her and gently rest an arm over Brittany's waist. When she felt Santana nuzzle into the back of her neck, Brittany knew she probably wouldn't be sleeping for the rest of the night.

* * *

per your requests... this one was a bit longer :) leave your thoughts if you'd like! thank you for all your comments... i get so happy every time i see a new one.


	8. Chapter 8

Exhilarating yet calm. Relaxed yet very, very awake.

That was the best way to describe being held in Santana's arms.

The brunette hadn't shifted positions since coming to wrap herself around Brittany. If anything, she was holding on a bit tighter. Her hand lay inches under Brittany's chin, and several times she thought about resting her own hand over it. But then she remembered that Santana had made no conscious decision to spoon her like this. That they were in this very intimate position by chance, not by intention. She therefore remained as motionless as possible, and tried to just enjoy the comfort of resting in Santana's warm embrace.

Once or twice she felt herself even grow a bit drowsy, and thought maybe she might actually fall asleep. But then Santana's even breaths would slide along the back of her neck. Or her boobs would press into Brittany's back with the rise and fall of her chest. She was zapped back into alertness every time. It was worth it.

The hours seemed to pass quickly, as they always do when you wish they'd just slow down. Way before she was expecting it, light was beginning to filter through her bedroom windows. At first it was a dull gray, but all too quickly it turned red with the sunrise, and then even faster to yellow. And then she could hear the traffic that let her know the rest of New York was up on this Sunday morning.

She didn't think that the sun had been up very long when she felt Santana start to stir. She started to retract her hand, but instead of withdrawing it completely, she rested it on Brittany's hip and just barely gave it a small squeeze. The next thing Brittany knew, it was gone completely and so was the feeling of Santana's body against hers. She lay still, wondering what Santana would do next. She felt the mattress shift a little, and she guessed that Santana had gotten up, but she heard the bathroom door shut seconds later and felt relief. She'd be back. Sure enough, a few minutes later she heard the door open again and waited for Santana to get back in her bed. When she heard the slow turning of another door knob, she sat bolt upright.

There she was, in the clothes she came here in, trying to sneak out. Brittany felt herself instantly frown.

"You aren't _actually _trying to leave right now, right?" Brittany asked sarcastically. Santana immediately stopped trying to slowly open the door and Brittany saw her eyes close, as if embarrassed at being caught.

"It doesn't look good no matter how you look at it," Brittany continued. "You're leaving me here alone, hoping I wake up long after you've gone. Plus," she lowered her voice in mock seriousness, "the neighbors will probably think you're doing the walk of shame."

Santana let go of the door knob and turned to face Brittany. "Did you hear me trying to leave?"

Brittany opened her mouth to answer but then closed it. Maybe she didn't want Santana knowing she'd stayed up all night. Lying in her arms. Really enjoying it.

"Yeah, I heard you," she finally said, not looking into those brown eyes for fear of Santana seeing through her lie.

"It's not like that," Santana responded. She started wringing her hands as she said it. "I just… I have to go. I have somewhere to be."

Brittany sighed and looked back up. "Look Santana, I get that there's apparently a lot of stuff you don't want to talk to me about. I wish you would, but that's completely your decision so fine. I can try to deal with the fact that I literally know almost nothing about you. But please, don't lie to me. It's kind of rude and rather insulting to my intelligence," she finished, feeling please with herself.

Santana looked a little surprised at Brittany's words. It made the blonde smile.

"You're feisty in the morning," she said dully, almost as if she was admitting defeat.

Brittany's smile grew wider. She really usually wasn't. Santana brought out a lot of things in her.

"Come here," she said, pointing to the empty space that the brunette had vacated.

"Brittany," Santana started, but she was cut off.

"Hey, I rescued you last night. And I know you slept good, which you appear to only be able to do when you're here. Don't you think you owe me a little?" Santana narrowed her eyes, and Brittany kinda wondered if she'd gone too far, but then she just shook her head and walked back over to the bed. She sat facing Brittany expectantly.

"Yes?"

Brittany debated hard over what she wanted to say, and exactly how she wanted to say it. Finally she just started talking, and hoped for the best.

"So, I'm assuming you remember everything from last night. You didn't seem that far gone."

The look on Santana's face told Brittany that she did, in fact, remember everything. In that moment she was sure they were both thinking of the same thing. She pushed away the thought and pressed on.

"Santana, I want to know why you were drinking at the office."

Her boss licked her lips, seemingly without thinking about it, while she thought about her answer. Brittany tried not to think about how sexy the action was.

"Like I said… I don't really like… being home," she said quietly as she played with the corner of Brittany's sheet.

"That doesn't really answer my question though. Why were you at the office? And why were you drinking there? It was Saturday night, you could have been drinking anywhere. You could have been with friends."

"Brittany," Santana said sadly, "I don't… I don't really have any. Any friends." Her face was heartbreaking.

Brittany didn't really know how to respond to something like that. She sort of just blurted out the first thing that popped into her head.

"None? You don't have any? What about friends from school? Are any of them in the city?"

"I don't have any friends from school," Santana replied quickly. She sounded a little bitter.

"You didn't make any friends the entire time you were in law school?" Brittany asked incredulously.

"I did… but then…" she stopped and took a huge deep breath. "I don't anymore, okay?"

"Please, Santana, just tell me. You can trust me."

Once again, Santana gave her that piercing gaze, the one Brittany was sure could penetrate her thoughts.

"It's nothing I want you to concern yourself with."

Damn it she was frustrating.

"Fine, then why were you drinking? Just tell me." She heard the very subtle plea in her voice. She hoped Santana didn't.

"It's pathetic… drinking just relaxes me enough to get an hour or two of sleep."

"And, I assume you're still not going to tell me why you sleep so badly?"

"I'd rather not," she deadpanned. She was still fiddling with the corner of the sheet.

"Damn it, Santana. How are we supposed to be friends if you won't talk to me?"

The brunette looked down and shook her head. "I don't know Brittany."

"Is this why you aren't friends anymore with your friends from school? Did you push them away too?" she asked bitterly.

Santana dropped the sheet and locked eyes with Brittany. Her expression was completely unreadable.

"I think I should go."

Immediate regret settled in Brittany's stomach. She felt like a fucking jackass.

"Santana, wait. I'm sorry. I should not have said that. I don't know anything about it."

"It's not your fault. You're right, you don't know anything. And I know I'm frustrating you," she paused like she was thinking carefully about her words. "You were really great last night. Thank you for letting me stay here. But I really have to go."

"Santana… don't." The plea in her voice was evident now. "Stay. I want you to."

She looked like she was about to respond when suddenly a very curious look crossed her face.

"I'm sorry… but did you say earlier that you know I slept well?"

Brittany was completely taken off guard by this question.

"I… yes I did."

"How do you know?"

Brittany swallowed and decided to go with the truth. Fuck it.

"I didn't… sleep well." Okay. Half-truth.

"Why not?"

"I dunno… I had a lot to think about I guess." Like Santana's body pressed up against hers for starters.

"Then I should go. And you should sleep. And Brittany?"

"Yes?"

"Tomorrow, at work, can we just go back to the way things were?"

For some reason, this request saddened Brittany. She knew she didn't really learn anything new just now, but she felt like she was maybe a little bit closer. She also didn't think arguing with Santana would help though.

"Sure, Santana. Can I ask you one thing though?"

Santana smiled in relief and indicated for Brittany to continue.

"You obviously know how to get here now. And my apartment isn't far from the office. If you don't want to stay home, or you just wanted some company… you could come here, you know."

Santana's smile turned a little sheepish but she replied playfully. "That isn't a question, you know."

Brittany smiled back, mirroring Santana's sheepish expression. "I guess not. But you know what I was getting at."

"I do."

"Okay."

"I'll see you tomorrow." With that Santana got up and crossed the room to the door again. When she reached it she turned around and gave a fleeting smile before walking out. She heard her front door close moments later.

Brittany lay back down, and instantly she felt all the exhaustion catch up with her. Despite the sound of the traffic, and the bright sunlight now pouring through the windows, Brittany fell into a deep sleep within minutes.

* * *

The next morning, Brittany sat down at her desk feeling very rejuvenated indeed. She'd slept well into the afternoon, and then had gone to bed again at her usual time the night before. She hadn't even needed her morning coffee when she woke up this morning. She was about to pick up the phone to answer voicemails when she looked up into Santana's office to see what the brunette was doing.

When her eyes fell on Santana, she felt her heartbeat promptly pick up. The suspenders were back. Brittany really had no idea why she liked them so much on her, but Santana rocked them like nobody else. The woman must have felt Brittany's eyes on her, because she looked up within seconds and gave Brittany a cute little grin before resuming her pacing with the book in her hands.

After checking the voicemails, Brittany made her way into the office with her notes. Santana paused in her pacing to hear everything out.

"Good morning, Santana," Brittany said casually, but she let her eyes quickly travel over the woman's body.

Again, Santana smiled at her. Brittany was pleased to see it was back to being playful.

"Hi," she replied, looking up at Brittany from under her eyelashes. Brittany had no idea how she could turn her on and be such a dork at the same time.

Brittany found herself smiling back as she informed Santana about her schedule.

"You have meetings at 11, 2, and 4. And you have a phone conference at 9:30. Here is the list of names that go with each of them."

Brittany handed over a small sticky note. Then, unable to stop herself in their closer proximity, she reached out and lightly tugged on one of Santana's suspenders.

"I like these." This was normal for them right?

"I'll remember that," she said flirtatiously.

Brittany smiled and let go of the material, then made her way back to her desk. Santana's schedule was so full today they really didn't have much of a chance to interact again, but something about her boss seemed different today. Even though they couldn't really talk, Santana kept looking over at Brittany throughout the day. Every time they made eye contact, she'd smile for a split second, and Brittany would feel her heart flutter just a little. It wasn't her usual seductive grin, but Brittany's body reacted to it all the same every single time. By the end of the day, when Santana's last client walked out, Brittany knew it was all over. She walked into Santana's office and paused just inside the door.

Santana grinned up at her from her desk.

"You know what you've been doing to me all day. You know you're driving me crazy."

"I had no idea," she said, feigning shock. Brittany couldn't handle anymore teasing from Santana today though.

"Come here," she ordered.

The grin on Santana's lips grew wider, but she stood up and made her way over to Brittany, stopping just in front of her.

"Yes?" she whispered, raising an eyebrow.

"You were right, you know." Brittany had no idea why she was so calm right now.

"About what, in particular?"

"About me. Losing control."

Seeing the shocked look on Santana's face was exquisite. Reaching behind her, she felt the edge of Santana's office door and shut it quietly without taking her eyes off the brunette. Then, in one swift movement, she put her hands on Santana's shoulders and quickly turned both of them around and gently pushed Santana up against the closed door. It didn't take two whole seconds.

"Santana I… I _need…_ to know what this feels like. So if you really don't want me to do this, then you should stop me now."

Santana said nothing. Brittany stepped forward and placed her hands on Santana's hips. Santana's lips then parted and her breaths were coming out ragged and broken. Brittany's panties were soaked already.

She leaned in, parting her own lips but not quite touching Santana's. She could feel Santana's hips moving slightly with her heavy breathing. Teasingly, she leaned in another centimeter and let her lips barely graze Santana's, sliding over them without really kissing her. She felt like she was getting high off of this. She pulled away again.

At that little bit of contact, Santana's hands came up to Brittany's back and she pulled Brittany's body closer. She loved finally taunting Santana back a little. Making her feel weak and out of control.

"Brittany… please."

Her voice was raspier than ever. Hearing her plead like that wiped the last of Brittany's remaining willpower. Brittany leaned back in, and weeks of built up desire all came crashing out. Her parted lips met Santana's. And she was pretty sure her heart was about to explode. And then Santana was kissing her back. And her lips were so fucking soft. Brittany's own breathing became ragged. And then everything else ceased to exist. Because Santana's tongue just glided across her bottom lip tantalizingly slow. And then it was in her mouth. And Brittany heard herself moan.

Santana's hands left Brittany's back to find purchase in her hair. This was the best loss of control Brittany had ever experienced in her entire fucking life. She let her hands travel up a few inches and travel around Santana's waist. Brittany placed one foot between Santana's feet and let her body rest against Santana's. God it was getting warm. Finally, she pulled away, letting their lips part. Hers felt a little swollen already. When she looked into Santana's eyes, they were completely black. The woman's fingers were still tangled in blonde hair. Hardly a second passed before Brittany lowered her head again, this time to kiss Santana's neck. Santana let out a whimper of her own when Brittany's lips started roaming her skin. God she smelled good.

Brittany knew she needed to stop soon. If she didn't, she wouldn't be able to. Ever. With one last lingering kiss to Santana's pulse point, she brought her arms from around Santana's back, and stepped backward. They were both breathing as if they'd run a marathon.

Santana was the first to speak after several long minutes.

"Oh my God," she said breathlessly.

The way she said it alone made Brittany want to attack her again. But she held her ground.

"I had to. I dunno what it was about today… but I had to." Brittany said quietly.

Santana waited a few seconds before responding. "So… what now?" she asked, like it was completely Brittany's decision.

Brittany smiled. "Now, I'm going home before I can attack you again. I'll see you tomorrow, Santana."

She grabbed one of Santana's hands and gently pulled her away from the door. The brunette looked completely flabbergasted. Opening the door, she turned back around and gave her boss a quick wink before walking out. It was nice to be in control, for once.

* * *

She thought of nothing else on the way home. She was actually pretty proud of herself for being able to kiss Santana without having a heart attack. And then for being able to walk out, knowing that Santana wanted more. Her lips had felt so good. And that sound. That whimper. Brittany felt so jittery thinking about it. She even felt a little bit drunk. Like it was hard to continuously walk in a straight line. It was wonderful.

Once she got home, she immediately picked up her journal and turned to the first clean page. In her haste to write down her thoughts, her handwriting was sloppy and wild.

_Dear Journal,_

_I kissed her. And I didn't die. And it was probably the most thrilling feeling ever. I don't know what happens now. But I kissed her._

_Until next time,_

_Brittany_

_PS. She tastes fucking amazing._

* * *

You are all amazing. Thank you for all the follows, and favorites, and reviews, and private messages. I hope you liked this chapter!


	9. Chapter 9

Slowly closing the journal, Brittany set her pen down, leaned back into the couch and looked up. The dark TV screen in front of her was just reflective enough to show her the image of herself, smiling goofily like a fool. She didn't care. She'd just kissed Santana Lopez. She felt giddy, restless. And she knew she did not want to spend this evening alone. Happiness like this should be shared.

Her first thought was obviously of Santana. How amazing it would be to just have dinner with the woman. But then, she had played it so coolly in Santana's office. She had lost some control and taken some back, and Brittany kind of wanted to hold on to that feeling just a little while longer. In the end she decided to call one of her close friends, Christine. She and Christine had been friends almost ever since Brittany moved to the city. They met on a bus of all places, and Christine had recommended the coffee shop Brittany now loves so much. They talked and became friends. Just like that.

With everything that had been going on recently at the law firm, Brittany hadn't spoken to Christine in a few weeks, but that never really mattered with them. They'd just sort of pick up where they left off. And Brittany could think of no better night to call up her old friend.

Digging through her purse, she found her cell phone and dialed the familiar number. She really hoped her friend was free tonight. On the third ring, she heard Christine's happy voice come through the line.

"Hey, stranger! I thought you died."

Brittany chuckled at the light-hearted way in which she said it.

"Well, I'm glad to see you mourned properly," she retorted quickly. She heard Christine laugh.

"It was a hard loss. But I see you've been brought back to life! What's up, Britt?"

"Oh, not much. Just got home from work and I wanted to see what you were up to tonight. Are you free for dinner? I haven't seen you in weeks!"

"Got too busy for your old friend Christine huh? Umm, actually I am free tonight. I was already thinking about ordering Chinese… you down?"

"It's Chinese Christine… of course I'm down. My place or yours?"

"Tell me your order. I'll grab it on my way to you."

Brittany smiled. Being friends with Christine was so easy. Uncomplicated. She gave her order and hung up shortly after. The blonde was so glad to have company tonight.

About half an hour later she heard a knock at her apartment door, and opened it to let Christine inside. She stood at the threshold, her familiar goofy smile in place, her flaming red hair tousled all around her face.

"I bear gifts!" she chirped, holding a plastic bag in one hand and a wine bottle high in the air in the other. She marched in like she was leading a charge. Brittany just chuckled under her breath and closed the door behind her.

They sat in the floor around Brittany's coffee table, setting out food and pouring cheap wine. It was exactly perfect.

"So… how's it going these days Chris?" asked Brittany after they'd gotten it all settled.

She finished chewing a bite of lo mein before she answered. "Oh, same as always I guess. Work… bills… boyfriend… can't really complain too much."

"How is Justin doing? He started that new job recently, right?" Christine and Justin had been dating for years. They were practically like a married couple.

"He likes it… sucks he has to travel so much… but it makes him happy. We still get to see each other about every weekend, and hopefully soon he will be able to stay home more often."

"I'm really glad he likes it. New jobs can be tough to get adjusted to," Brittany said sagely. She remembered her first day at the firm. She hadn't understood half the words that came out of Mr. Perkins' mouth. Law terms were either Latin or otherwise complicated and long. It had definitely been an adjustment.

Seemingly reading Brittany's thoughts, Christine asked her next question. "How are things at the law firm? You've been there almost a year now right?"

"A little over now, actually. Things are definitely… interesting," she said slowly, thinking of the feel of Santana's lips, her hands tangling in blonde hair. "Never a dull day."

"You still work at the same firm? I swear last time we talked you said it was a bit boring," Christine said with a curious expression.

"Same firm… it's just been… different… lately." Santana Lopez whimpering in Brittany's ear, pushed up against a door. Different indeed.

"Still liking your boss? He seemed really nice when you first got the job," said the redhead before taking a sip of her wine.

The little smile that had been playing at the corners of Brittany's lips grew smaller, and she thought of Mr. Perkins again. And the accident.

"Oh, Christine… he, he passed away a little over a month ago. Got into a car accident on his way into work one morning. It… it was awful."

Christine set her glass down quickly and held a hand over her heart. "Brittany I'm so sorry! That's terrible. I know you really liked him."

Brittany picked up her glass and took a sip of her wine. The sweet taste was strangely a good contrast to the tangy Chinese.

"I did," she said simply.

A few moments of silence passed between the girls. Brittany ate more of her dinner for something to do.

"So hang on, you said you're still at the same firm… you have a different boss now? Did they just switch you over to one of the other attorneys?"

"Nope. Just hired a whole new person, actually."

"Do you like him? What's he like?"

Brittany knew why Christine automatically assumed her new boss was a man and it made her smile. That firm was notorious for having great lawyers. Great lawyers who were all men over 60, played golf on weekends, and had summer timeshares in the Hamptons.

"He's a she," she smirked at her friend. "My new boss is a woman."

"Really?" Christine asked, surprise dominating her tone. "How young?"

"Around my age, I guess. She just graduated a few years ago."

"Well that's cool. Do you guys have a lot in common then?"

Brittany took another bite of food to allow herself time to think about that. Does she have a lot in common with Santana? Well, they do have the uncontrollable hots for one another. There's that. But somehow she didn't think that's what Christine meant.

"I don't really know," she finally said honestly. Christine's eyebrows furrowed together at her from across the coffee table.

"What do you mean? Music, books, food? What's she into?"

Teasing the crap out of her receptionist.

"No idea," Brittany said, looking down at her plate. She was starting to feel full. "I uh… I don't know much about her."

Christine seemed to sense something in Brittany's tone, because she added consolingly, "She hasn't been there long… maybe she's just shy."

Brittany knew that was completely wrong, but she let the subject go. She just wanted go back to feeling giddy and careless. They didn't speak any more about Santana the rest of the night. They talked about whatever else crossed their minds, a little more about Christine's boyfriend and her job, how obnoxious it was to put a bracelet on with one hand, and why some dogs bark at inanimate objects. The important things in life.

By the end of the evening, and with nearly the entire bottle of wine gone between the two of them, Brittany was feeling very content. Sometimes you just need an old friend, some good Chinese, and some cheap wine. When it was finally starting to get a bit late, Christine helped Brittany clean up the coffee table and decided to head home with the promise of hanging out again soon.

She hadn't been gone five minutes, and Brittany was just about to get ready for bed, when she heard a knock at the door again. She gave a quick glance around the room to see if Christine had left her purse or anything, but saw nothing. When she opened the door, it was not Christine waiting on her.

Brittany looked down into fiery dark eyes, and had to remind herself to breathe. Santana Lopez was at her door. In her suspenders. And in her button down with a few top buttons undone. And she now looked very much in control. Brittany gulped. Fuck this woman is hot.

"S—Santana," she stuttered. Santana smiled an evil smile at this. Brittany gulped again. "Would… would you like to come in?" The blonde willed herself to be cool. She was failing so miserably.

"No thank you, I can't stay. I just came by to… to give you an assignment." The sinful smile was still on her face. It was magnificent.

"An… assignment? What… what do you want me to do?"

Santana leaned in toward the blonde and grabbed the front of Brittany's own button down with both hands, gently pulling Brittany's ear towards her lips.

"Think about me tonight. And when you do, just know that I'm at home getting off to you."

Oh shit. Brittany briefly considered just passing out right there on the floor. Somehow she managed to remain standing, but her knees were wobbly, like she just got off a roller coaster or something. As it was, her next breath did come out brokenly. Santana seemed fully aware of the effect she had on Brittany, because when she pulled away her wicked grin was back in place.

"Goodnight, Ms. Pierce."

Brittany's brain was in overdrive. Brittany's heart was in overdrive, and she could feel the pulsating beat all over her body. She tried hard to force words out of her mouth. Surely there was a logical response to 'goodnight' wasn't there? It didn't really matter either way. Santana was already gone. Damn.

Control sure did feel good. For all five minutes she had of it back at the office.

Brittany closed the door numbly. Did Santana fucking Lopez just say she'd be getting herself off tonight? _To Brittany?_ Did she just fucking say that? Instant suspicion arose in Brittany's thoughts and she slowly opened her door back up just a little. She peered around it, through the small crack with narrowed eyes, waiting for Santana to pop back around the corner and start laughing.

Nobody was there.

_Think about me tonight_.

Damn right she would. Brittany made her way back to her bathroom to take a hot shower, where she would be sure to think about Santana Lopez until the water ran cold.

* * *

The next morning, Brittany had to remind herself not to power walk to Santana's office from the elevator. God she wanted to see her face. To see that smirk that would confirm what Santana said last night had actually happened.

She didn't even set her things down on her desk before walking into the huge office. And there she was. In all her glory. Leaning back in her chair, writing down some notes surely for one case or another. Santana looked up when she heard Brittany enter, and immediately gave Brittany the confirmation she was looking for. That smirk would be the end of Brittany. She just knew it.

"Good morning, Brittany. How was your night?"

Brittany ignored this question for the moment and trooped straight to Santana's chair. Leaning down, she placed her hands on the armrests and looked into the brunette's eyes. That fiery glint was still there.

"Come home with me today and I'll show you."

Santana took a deep breath like she was sizing up Brittany's offer. She lifted one of her hands from her lap and started tracing lines with her forefinger up Brittany's arm. She had just opened her mouth to respond when they heard the sound of heels clacking down the hallway outside. Brittany instantly took her hands off the chair and straightened up just as an older woman, another receptionist, knocked at Santana's open door. She wondered if the woman had seen anything.

Santana immediately took on an air of professionalism. "Good morning, may I help you?" she asked the woman. Brittany thought that this receptionist might be one of the ones who work for Mr. Taylor, the senior partner.

"Ms. Lopez, I was actually coming to speak with your assistant. When I saw she was not at her desk, I assumed she would be in here. It seems I've found her," she woman said politely, yet with an unreadable expression. What the hell did she want?

"Something I can help you with?" Brittany asked as she began to walk towards her, giving the lady what she hoped was a very innocent smile. They stepped out into the hallway.

"Oh, it's nothing really. Just that the two copiers on this floor are not running properly today, and technical support can't get here until around 11. I just wanted to let you know that if you need printing services, you will have to use a different copier on another floor until then. I figured it would be faster just to walk through and tell everyone, rather than calling each of you individually."

Brittany sighed a small breath of relief.

"Oh! Well thank you for telling me. Will we be notified once they are repaired?"

The woman nodded. "Yes, technical support has been instructed to inform each of you once they are done."

"Right. Thank you."

"I'll let you get back to work," she said, smiling at Brittany. She turned to walk away, and just when Brittany was about to walk back into Santana's office, her phone began to ring. Feeling like everything was already getting in the way today (like her job), she went over to the desk and sat down to take the call. After she was finished, she went ahead and took the voicemails just to get them done, and checked Santana's schedule.

She reentered the office, and Santana had resumed the work she'd been doing earlier when Brittany arrived. When Brittany placed the notes on Santana's desk, the brunette looked up happily at her.

"I thought you forgot about me," she said with mock hurt.

"As if that's possible," Brittany retorted quietly. She quickly went through the notes she made for her boss.

"You only have two meetings today, both in the afternoon. Two other clients also called and requested that you call back when possible," Brittany pointed to the corresponding notes on Santana's desk as she spoke. "That's all you have today."

"Thank you. What would I do without you?" she asked in a buoyant tone.

"You'd probably find someone else to play with," Brittany replied back. She couldn't help but think of Mr. Perkins and how he used to ask that question. Things were so different now.

"Weren't you saying something earlier? About showing me something?" Santana asked quietly, bringing Brittany out of her thoughts. She immediately smiled.

She was about to respond when she was interrupted a third time this morning. Her ringing phone was the culprit again.

"Keep holding that thought," Brittany said quickly as she turned to leave.

Once seated again at her desk, she picked up the phone to take the new call.

"Brittany Pierce, receptionist to Santana Lopez," she spoke into the receiver.

"Brittany, this is Janice, Mr. Taylor's receptionist," said a clear voice through the phone.

Weird. What did another receptionist want with her now?

"Yes, can I help you?"

"Mr. Taylor has asked me to inform Ms. Lopez that he would like to speak with her in his office. Is she free for a moment?"

What the hell? Why would Mr. Taylor want to see Santana? Brittany promptly thought back to the receptionist who had been down here earlier… and wondered again if she'd seen anything in Santana's office when she'd knocked at the door. Fuck. If Mr. Taylor found out about this…

Brittany looked up at Santana, who was watching her and grinning.

"She is at the moment. Should she come up now?"

"Yes, please. Thank you."

"She'll be right up."

Brittany hung up the phone and stood up to go back into the office.

"You were saying?" Santana said softly, clearly still thinking of their earlier conversation.

"Mr. Taylor wants to see you in his office, Santana. Now."

"Huh? Why?" The smile that had been on her face all morning was gone.

"His receptionist didn't say. Santana… you don't think that other woman saw anything…?"

She paused for a moment, but then shook her head. "No, that's impossible."

"Well he still wants to see you," Brittany reminded her.

Santana stood up and began to walk towards the door. "I'll be right back. I'm sure it's nothing," Santana said without looking at Brittany. The blonde wondered if she was saying it more to Brittany or herself.

Brittany followed her out the door, but took her seat at her desk to wait.

When Santana had been gone ten minutes, Brittany knew whatever was going on had to be almost over. When she'd been gone twenty minutes, she started worrying. When she'd been gone half an hour, Brittany knew when she came back they'd both be fired.

Finally, after thirty four minutes, Santana reappeared around the corner.

"What did he want? Is everything okay? Do they know?" Brittany blurted out questions.

"Come in here," Santana said quietly, nodding her head towards her office. Brittany followed right away.

"Brittany, everything is fine. I've been here around a month now and Mr. Taylor just wanted to check in with me and see how everything was going. How I was… adjusting."

"Is that all?"

"Pretty much. But," Santana responded, lowering her voice, "I can't say I wasn't a little worried as I was going up there. What happened yesterday… we can't let that happen again. Do you understand? It's too risky."

As much as Brittany wanted to contest that, she knew Santana was right. They were both risking their jobs by getting involved.

Santana continued when Brittany didn't respond. "We just have to learn… better control."

Brittany nodded. She couldn't make herself say anything. Without another word, she exited the office and sat down again, feeling like crap.

The rest of the day did not get much better. Santana kept herself busy in her office, making phone calls, talking with clients, making notes. Everything she did though made Brittany want to jump her bones.

With only a few minutes left before time to leave, she was wondering how on earth she'd learn better control when she seemed to lose a little bit more with each passing day when she heard her phone quickly vibrate in her purse. Digging through it, she finally fished it out and opened a new text message. Her heart kind of stuttered after she read it.

**Santana Lopez: who cares if you get caught sending a text message though… did you complete the assignment i gave you last night?**

After reading the text a few times to make sure she read it right, she looked up at Santana. Her boss had her head bent over a book, as if she did not just send a very interesting text message to her receptionist. She typed a response quickly.

**Brittany: i did. in the shower.**

The blonde busied herself with reorganizing very organized papers on her desk, willing her phone to light up and buzz again.

**Santana: tell me what you did.**

Brittany's cheeks felt hot. She wondered if she could actually bring herself to tell Santana what she did.

**Brittany: i guess you weren't the only one who got off last night.**

Almost immediately, it lit up again.

**Santana: tell me what you did to yourself.**

Oh God.

**Brittany: it felt so good.**

She kind of couldn't believe this was happening. Another buzz.

**Santana: did you use the shower head?**

Brittany felt her cheeks really flushing now. Santana must have seen that her shower head detaches one of the times she was at Brittany's.

**Brittany: and my fingers.**

She looked up to see her boss's reaction. She wasn't positive but it really looked like Santana took a deep breath after reading that text. Then she immediately started typing again.

**Santana: i want to fuck you so bad right now.**

Holy sweet baby Jesus in heaven.

Brittany squirmed around in her seat a bit, and felt the wetness rub against her. Her clit was throbbing. She typed out her response as best she could with trembling fingers.

**Brittany: comee to my place tonights.**

Checking the time, it was now five. She picked up her purse and got up, trying desperately to ignore the throbbing between her legs.

Standing in Santana's doorway, she announced she was leaving.

"If there's nothing else I can do, I think I'll head on home for the day." Her voice shook a little as she spoke, and her knees felt like jelly again.

Santana looked up and smiled innocently. "Have a good night, Brittany."

Judging by her tone, no one would have ever guessed she'd just sent a text message to her receptionist saying how badly she wanted to fuck her.

* * *

leave comments if you like! until next time :)


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: i guess in my head i sort of see this story in certain segments. this chapter will be the beginning of a new segment in Brittany and Santana's story. i hope you like it.**

**also, over 500 story follows. thank you all so much! never in my wildest dreams did i expect anything like that to happen.**

* * *

Waiting was torture. Brittany had been home all of five minutes and her patience was waning fast. This was all Santana's fault. How could she say something like that and then make Brittany wait? The blonde knew that Santana liked to work late, and knowing she possibly had several more hours to go was unbearable. Snatching up her phone, she typed out a quick text to her boss.

**Brittany: you should probably leave early today.**

She placed her phone back on the coffee table and looked around her apartment, looking for a potential distraction. Looking over the kitchen counter, her eyes landed on the refrigerator and she thought about having a quick dinner. Brittany tossed this idea quickly; her stomach felt too jittery. Then she saw the remote control to the TV at the other end of the couch and thought about trying to find something on. She knew it wouldn't successfully distract her though, so she left the remote untouched. Finally, looking back down at the coffee table, her eyes landed once again on her phone. It had remained silent since sending the text to Santana, who had never texted her back. Brittany wondered if that meant anything. Sitting next to her phone was the journal she'd technically stolen from a coffee shop. She leaned forward and picked it up. The worn leather felt smooth as ever under her fingers, and not for the first time, she wondered how old it was and who it used to belong to. She flicked through it quickly, seeing page after page full of writing. Temptation was starting to pull at her, and she was thinking hard about reading the first entry. Maybe reading someone else's woes and feelings would sidetrack her from her own. She was on the brink of turning to the first page when she heard a quiet knock at her door.

Just knowing it was Santana on the other side made her feel nervous and excited all over again. She quickly stuffed the journal in between the seat cushions of the couch. For some reason she felt oddly shy about it, and didn't even want Santana to see the journal, whose pages held Brittany's feelings for her. Feeling satisfied that it was well concealed, she got up to open the door.

There she was again. Brittany didn't know if she'd ever get used to how insanely attractive Santana was. She stood in Brittany's doorway, her hair falling in thick curls around her face, and her power suit making her look fierce as ever. Noticeably absent, however, was Santana's signature smirk. The one she always wore when Brittany knew she was feeling feisty. The one that always got Brittany in trouble. Instead, Santana looked conflicted, maybe even almost pained.

"Santana, what's wrong?" Brittany moved out of the way to let Santana by. The brunette walked inside without a word and Brittany closed the door behind her.

Turning around to face her, Santana took a large breath and began. She seemed to really be struggling to find her words.

"Brittany… I—I can't. I can't… do this… with you."

Brittany felt her jitters die at Santana's words, and be replaced with confusion.

"What? What happened, Santana? I just saw you like a half hour ago, and you… felt differently."

Brittany had read Santana's last text message about thirty times. Her current attitude was about a 180 degree difference.

"God, Brittany… I don't know what's wrong with me. When you're near me I just… and then you leave and I think I can control it better. And… and now here I am, and there's just so much you don't know. And I can't tell you any of it, but even if I wanted to… all my thoughts get interrupted." She stopped here and closed her eyes, obviously frustrated.

"I can't even form a fucking coherent sentence because all I can think about right now is how sexy that confused pout is on your face. And I just want to kiss you again. But I can't, and I hate myself for that. I've already fucked up with you and I don't know how to fix that."

She stopped and took another deep breath. Her face was the most sincere Brittany had ever seen it. Brittany stood there, astounded. She really didn't know what Santana was talking about, but she knew this was the most honest the woman had ever been with her. Brittany took a few steps forward and reached for Santana's hand, taking it in both of hers. Santana closed her eyes again at the contact.

"Santana, nothing has to happen. Tell me what is going on. Tell me what you meant by all of that." Brittany let her thumb slide back and forth over the back of Santana's hand soothingly.

"Can we go for a walk or something?" Santana asked back, surprising Brittany.

"Um, sure. Like right now?"

"Please. I need to get out of this apartment. Just this… standing this close to you… with no one else around. Can we go?"

Brittany let go of Santana's hand and grabbed her keys off the counter and a light jacket from the hook next to the door.

"Come on," Brittany said with a smile.

Once out on the street, they began making their way down the sidewalk, this time in the opposite direction of the firm. Brittany had no idea where they were going, or even if they had a destination. They just walked. Even though it was still winter, it was a fairly mild day. The light breeze made it just chilly enough for Brittany's jacket. She wondered if Santana was cold in only her suit jacket. She looked over at the brunette, who hadn't said anything yet since leaving the apartment. Santana looked back at her and gave a small smile, then without a word took Brittany's hand in hers, before looking ahead again. It reminded her of the time they walked back to Brittany's apartment hand in hand. It felt nice.

They had reached the end of the block. Brittany was wondering if they'd turn or keep going straight when a runner came around the building's corner and ran right into her, knocking her back a few steps.

"Oi! Watch it!" he shouted, not bothering to stop and make sure she was okay. He was halfway down the block before she even thought about responding.

"What an asshat," Santana said, looking after him with disdain.

For some reason, hearing Santana say the word 'asshat' completely made up for being run into, and Brittany started laughing.

"What's so funny?" asked Santana, taking Brittany's hand again and directing them across the street.

"You said asshat. Also, did he just say the word 'oi'?" Brittany asked, smirking at Santana.

"I thought I heard that too… weird."

They continued for a few more seconds in silence before Santana spoke again.

"So, do you think I'm crazy?"

Brittany looked over, but Santana was looking firmly ahead.

"I don't think you're crazy. But I don't really know what to think."

Santana nodded at these words.

"Brittany… I'm so fucked up."

Moments passed in silence. What does one say to a confession like that? When Brittany didn't say anything, Santana continued.

"I've been keeping everyone out for so long. And I've always been good at it. It's what makes me a great lawyer—not forming emotional connections. I get the facts, I win the case, and move on. It works for me."

At these words she stopped walking, bringing both of them to a halt on the sidewalk. Then she looked up into Brittany's eyes.

"And then you came along."

Brittany said nothing. She just wanted to let Santana talk until she had nothing left to say. She gently squeezed Santana's hand though to encourage her to continue.

"And you're the one person who hasn't made it easy. I have to try so hard with you, to keep you out. I've already slipped up a few times. And now I feel like there's no way back."

Brittany felt like she should be a little hurt by these words, but she wasn't. She just wanted to know more. To know why.

"Is it such a bad thing? To let someone in? To let me in? Why do you want to shut everyone out?"

The woman took a deep breath and said sadly, "If you don't let anyone in, no one can let you down."

"Why are you so sure I would let you down?"

"Why are you so sure you wouldn't?" she retorted quietly.

Brittany opened her mouth to respond but then shut it. She realized nothing she could say would be proof enough. Instead she tried a different angle.

"By that logic, Santana, you'd never trust anyone ever. Never have friends. You'd never love. You would spend your life alone."

Santana broke eye contact and started walking again, bringing Brittany with her.

"I came to terms with that a long time ago."

More silence. Brittany had never heard anything so sad. But then she felt Santana's thumb trace the back of her hand, leaving a trail of heat where it passed.

"So then why are we here now? Why are you telling me this if you're still going to try and shut me out? Why are you holding my hand?"

Santana looked down at their interlaced fingers.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have…" she responded, and started to pull her hand away. Brittany stopped her.

"Don't. I didn't mean it that way. I just want to know why."

Santana resumed stroking the back of her hand.

"I like holding your hand. It feels good. And I like how you just let me, like it's perfectly normal."

Brittany smiled at these words and gave Santana's hand another gentle squeeze.

"I like holding your hand too."

They were approaching the end of another block, and at the corner was a bench for a bus stop.

"Would you like to sit for a minute?" Brittany asked, pointing to the bench.

Santana nodded and they sat, hands still linked.

"You never answered the other questions I asked," Brittany stated, watching the people pass by. No one gave them a second glance. Santana had now taken Brittany's hand in both of hers and was connecting the dots between Brittany's freckles with her free hand.

"Like I said… you make everything difficult. I feel like I… owe it to you."

"So… the reason why you can't… why you don't want to get involved with me… isn't just because your my boss?"

Santana took a deep breath. "No. It was never really about that. It was just a convenient excuse."

"But now we sort of are involved," Brittany reminded her quietly.

"I never meant for that to happen. But you just… you make me forget all that when you're near me. And I lose control, and it feels so fucking good. And I think, fuck all the rules. And for a while I held it off at just teasing. But then you kissed me."

Santana stopped tracing lines on Brittany's skin, let go of her hand, and looked up at her. Her fierce gaze was back.

"You kissed me. And I didn't have a snowball's chance in hell of stopping you. And it was probably the best kiss I've ever had. It was like I got high off it or something, and I needed more. And now here we are. Thinking about it, all I want to do is kiss you again."

Brittany didn't know how much more she could take without kissing the woman. Hearing Santana's confessions was making her heart beat erratically and her brain feel fuzzy. Santana continued anyway.

"On top of all that, you showed me New York City from 17 floors up. Twice. I would have never done that on my own. Or for anyone else. But I did it for you without even knowing you very long. And every night when I go home, I stay up waiting for sleep that hardly ever comes. I get to the office at the crack of dawn just for something to do. But then at your place I sleep without even waking up. Again, twice."

She looked up at Brittany like she was a puzzle Santana just couldn't figure out. Attempting to lighten the mood, Brittany said with a wink, "Maybe I'm magic."

Santana gave her another small smile and looked out at the passing people.

"Little dream catcher."

Brittany didn't know why… but she kind of liked that Santana had just called her that.

"And now what?" Brittany asked, also looking out at the passersby.

"And now, I'd like to walk you back to your apartment. It's getting cold out," she said, standing up and extending her hand. Brittany took it without hesitation.

"You know that's not what I meant," she said, looking down at the brunette as they began to walk.

"I know."

Santana didn't elaborate and Brittany didn't push her. They'd come a long way on their short walk. Brittany knew that there were still huge gaps left unfilled. Mostly the 'why' parts to everything Santana told her. She thought maybe one day she'd figure those out too.

They made their way back to Brittany's apartment in almost complete silence. But Brittany didn't mind. Santana held her hand the whole way, spreading warmth from Brittany's fingertips to the rest of her body. The blonde wondered if it was weird that holding Santana's hand was already starting to feel natural. There was just something satisfying in the simple action of Santana taking her hand. It gave her butterflies and calmed her down at the same time.

When they reached Brittany's door again, she knew Santana would leave this time. That they'd reached their goodnight. After she opened the door she turned around to face her boss.

"See you tomorrow?"

Santana smiled and nodded.

"Oh, and Santana? Can I tell you something?"

The brunette just nodded again, still smiling. Brittany took a big breath and went on.

"I don't really know where we stand now. Where you stand now. I don't know if this is you deciding to open up to me or if we're just not going to go down that road."

Santana clenched her jaw and furrowed her brows, like she was thinking of a response. Brittany continued before she could.

"You don't have to tell me either way right now. But I just wanted to tell you… I can't promise that I won't ever let you down. I can't see the future, so I think that's a pretty unfair promise to make. I do know, though, that I don't ever want to. I don't ever want to disappoint you, or abandon you. Whatever that's worth."

Santana smiled that perfect smile of hers. She was so beautiful it really almost hurt.

"It's worth a lot."

With that she lifted Brittany's hand with both of hers to her lips and placed a very light kiss to the back of it. She gave Brittany another fleeting smile and then without another word, she was gone.

Brittany couldn't wipe the smile off her face. She closed her door slowly, still feeling the tingle from Santana's lips on her hand. Santana hadn't really given her an answer in words tonight about where they stood, but that kiss had to stand for something, right?

Brittany walked over to the end table by the couch and turned the lamp on. Then she turned on the spot and let herself fall into the comfortable cushions. She kicked her shoes off and swung her legs up, laying down it lengthwise. Adjusting herself to get comfortable, she felt something protruding into the base of her back. Feeling around underneath with her hand, she found the journal and remembered she had hastily stuffed it there earlier.

For a brief moment she thought about writing about her walk with Santana. But she really hadn't even gathered her thoughts about that yet. She probably couldn't write a complete sentence that made any sense.

Finally giving in to temptation, she adjusted the pillow behind her head, and opened the journal to the first page.

Just by glancing, the writing there was in cursive, and had a subtle elegance about it. Brittany couldn't quite put her finger on what made it look so… different. Looking up into the right corner of the page, Brittany blinked at the date written there.

May 16, 1941.

Old indeed. She felt her guilt ease a little in deciding that a journal from the 40s probably wasn't being missed all that much. She opened it up a little more to let more of the lamplight shine on the pages, and began to read.

_Dear diary,_

_I've never owned a diary before. But mother says every young woman should have one, and she gave it to me as a gift. I suppose it won't hurt to write in it._

_Today is my 18__th__ birthday. My parents threw a lovely party for me, with lots of guests and gifts and my friends. It really was nice of them. But then that Benjamin Prescott arrived, surely because my parents invited him. They say Benjamin is a "fine boy" because he's going off to school in the fall instead of joining the army. I wish they'd let me decide that for myself. In my opinion, he's awfully full of himself._

_After the party was over, Grace and I walked down to the lake. Pretty soon it will be warm enough to get in, but it was nice just to walk around it. Eventually we found our usual spot and sat down by the bank. The fireflies were already out by then. We were just sitting there, not really talking about anything important, except that I was getting sick already of Benjamin Prescott. And then she just took my hand and held it._

_I guess at first I didn't really think mattered. We hold hands all the time. But it's usually when we're going somewhere, like walking through Main Street or the drive in. Not sitting alone by the lake._

_Is it weird that it felt… nice? What does that even mean? We didn't even talk about it. We just sat and watched the fireflies._

_After a little while, it started to get dark and I knew we both needed to get back home. I told her goodnight, and she hugged me as usual. But then she leaned in again. She ended up kissing my cheek, but for a split second I knew she was going to kiss my lips._

_God I sincerely hope my mother never finds this._

_Diary, my first kiss almost just came from another girl tonight. And I think I'm okay with that. And I think no one else would be if I told them, so it'll have to be our secret._

_Thanks for listening._

_Love,_

_Maggie_

Brittany finished reading the entry and felt slightly overwhelmed. She flipped through the pages quickly once again. The same subtly elegant handwriting filled almost half of it, and she caught the name 'Grace' several more times through her flipping. Was it possible that coincidences could be this huge?

Did Brittany really just read the beginning of a story of forbidden love? Between two women, nonetheless? Thinking briefly of Santana and their own story, Brittany flipped the page and began to read again.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: the beginning of this chapter starts exactly where the last one left off... but it may help to read the last little bit of interaction between the girls in the last chapter if you don't remember! also, i've been getting a lot of private messages these days (which i love, your theories are awesome, just sayin) and i don't often get much opportunity to check ff... so if you want then feel free to direct your questions to my twitter: silverdoe14. i can check those notifications much more frequently. as always, thank you again for all the follows, favorites, and reviews! makes my day :) hope you enjoy the chapter!**

* * *

_May 18, 1941_

_Dear diary,_

_Yesterday was interesting. I suppose that is the best word for it. After doing a few chores, I met Grace at her house and we went into town. It's so odd now. A lot of shops are finally starting to reopen, but everything is so tense. It's as if the war is here too, though we haven't even properly joined it. Well, not yet._

_We didn't stay in town long… Grace didn't seem to be in the mood to shop. We didn't talk about the night of my birthday, either. I am starting to think maybe I imagined something that night. I don't know if I feel relieved or disappointed…_

_This morning at breakfast, mother asked me about Benjamin again. I guess I didn't "socialize" with him as much as I should have at my party. I guess the fact that I didn't want to means little. When we left for church, I thought I was done talking about him. But then of course he was there too. He's everywhere all the time. How annoying._

_I'm afraid it won't be long until he asks me to go out with him. I don't know what my parents will say if I say no. Turning 18 sure did complicate things._

_Mother's calling me down for lunch. Sorry I whine so much._

_Love,_

_Maggie_

Brittany turned the page hastily, feeling intrigued. She was already invested in Maggie's story after two entries. The next time Maggie wrote in the journal was over two weeks later.

_June 5, 1941_

_Dear diary,_

_I know I haven't written in a while. There really hasn't been much to say. Until now anyway. Grace and I went to the lake again today. We left our shoes by the grass and walked along the edge of the water. It's really warming up now. We were talking about what we'd do after this summer was over. I'm starting school again. I think I'd like to be a teacher, maybe. Who knows? She's off to school too, and she says she wants to be a nurse. Personally, I think that's what her parents want but what do I know?_

_We're not going to the same school. It'll be the first time we've been separated. Ever. It makes me sad when I think about it. She said she'd miss me._

_When we reached our spot, we lay down and watched the clouds. They were the big puffy kind you can make shapes out of. The sun felt really good on my face._

_After a few minutes, she pointed up at one of the clouds. Now I can't even remember what shape she said it was. When she dropped her hand she let it fall on mine and she held it again. We both just kept looking up for a few seconds but then she asked me if it was okay to hold my hand._

_I told her it was. And she smiled when I said it._

_Now I know I wasn't imagining things before. She held my hand today and it made me feel really excited. She didn't say anything else about it… we just lay there pointing at the clouds. I still don't really know what any of it means, but I suppose I don't really mind that._

_I'm seeing her again tomorrow night. I'm so glad we have the summer to spend together._

_Love,_

_Maggie_

Brittany turned the page again. Sure enough, the next entry in the journal was from the very next day. Before she could start reading though, her stomach gave a rumble and she remembered she hadn't eaten dinner yet.

Closing the old book, she got up from the couch and made her way to the kitchen. She made herself a quick dinner and poured a glass of wine. After she was finished eating, she sat at her kitchen counter, tracing her finger around the base of her glass and looking into the dark red liquid lost in thought.

As was becoming usual, her first thoughts went to Santana. Brittany wondered if she was home yet. She thought back to the tingly feeling of Santana's lips on her hand, their linked fingers as they walked down the street. She wondered what was so big in Santana's life that was holding her back. What could have possibly happened that made Santana so shut off to the possibility of feelings and love? Ideas ran rampant in Brittany's mind, but none of them quite fit. Her curiosity nagged at her, and she wished so much that Santana had said more.

Lifting her glass, she drained the rest of her wine in one shot. She sat it back down and looked over at her coffee table where the journal lay. Her thoughts shifted to Maggie's story. This perfect stranger, from an era well before Brittany's time, had already captivated her. How different it must have been then, in a time when what Maggie was writing about was not at all acceptable.

Brittany hoped the journal contained the entire story. She hoped Maggie had a happy ending. Before going back to the couch to continue reading, Brittany poured herself another glass of wine. What would it hurt? She sat at the counter sipping slowly, shifting her thoughts between Maggie's 1940's reality and Santana's current mystery. After she finished that glass, she made her way back into the living room. Just as she sat back down on the couch, her phone buzzed. She reached for it instead of Maggie's journal.

Seeing that it was a text from Santana made her instantly smile, and she hastily opened the message.

**Santana Lopez: i don't really know where we stand either. but i think i'd be alright if i stood next to you.**

Brittany read it over and over. It was one of the sweetest things Santana had ever said, and it made the butterflies swim happily in her stomach. She thought for a few minutes on how to respond. Nothing seemed quite good enough. She really wanted to know if that meant Santana was done with all her defenses, but now wasn't the time to ask. She read the text another time, wondering exactly what the implications of it were. She knew she liked it either way. Finally, Brittany typed out a response she was happy with.

**Brittany: i think i'd be alright with that too.**

She waited a few moments, wondering if Santana would respond. She was very happy when her phone lit up again about a minute later.

**Santana Lopez: goodnight brittany. sweet dreams.**

Brittany smiled down at the screen. How far they'd come since the text messages of the earlier afternoon. She sent back her response before putting her phone back on the coffee table.

**Brittany: goodnight and sweet dreams santana.**

She really hoped Santana would get some sleep tonight. Thinking of sleep, Brittany realized her two glasses of wine must be taking some kind of effect, as she was beginning to feel drowsy. She stifled a yawn but decided to take the journal to her bedroom anyway.

After getting ready for bed, Brittany crawled under the covers and leaned back into her pillows.

Picking the journal back up, Brittany reopened it to where she left off before.

_June 6, 1941_

_Dear diary,_

_I just got home. I went to see the new picture at the drive in with Grace. I told my parents I liked it, but I honestly don't really know what it was about. It was hard to focus._

_I put my hand down in the seat and then she did. And then her pinky finger was touching mine. And I pretty much thought that was more interesting than the film. And then I just… I just took it. And she smiled at me since I'd never been the one to take her hand._

_What in the world is happening?_

_After it was over, we stopped for ice cream on the way home at the little place close to my house. We sat in my driveway eating it. I love summer._

_We didn't have long to sit. Her parents wanted her and the car back before it got too late. I was just going to tell her goodnight like always but she stopped me before I could get out of the car._

_Grace kissed me tonight. It wasn't a cheek kiss or even a friendly quick on the lips kiss. It was a real kiss. My first real kiss. Her lips were cold from the ice cream. They felt really good._

_I really wanted to keep kissing her, but I didn't want anyone else to see. I stopped and told her goodnight again. She just smiled at me, so I think that was okay._

_I don't know what's going on but I liked that kiss. And I think I should probably just say it… I like my best friend._

_Oh God._

_I guess I need to find a new hiding place for this diary._

_Love,_

_Maggie_

Brittany ran her fingers over Maggie's handwriting. Compared to her usual perfect cursive, this entry seemed slightly more slanted and less elegant. Brittany smiled at the idea that maybe she'd written it hastily in her excitement over the kiss. She thought back to her first and only kiss with Santana, and how jittery she'd felt afterwards. She quickly turned to the first blank page of the journal and flipped backward, finding her own last entry. The one she'd written about kissing Santana. Her handwriting was just sloppy compared to Maggie's neat script, but this entry was particularly messy. She remembered how her hands had been trying to shake as she wrote about the most amazing kiss she'd ever experienced. It made her want to kiss Santana again.

Deciding to resume Maggie's story another day, Brittany turned the page in the journal to the next blank page and fished a pen out of the night stand drawer. She felt like she at least owed an explanation for breaking her promise not to read it.

_Dear Maggie,_

_I owe you an apology. I wrote before that I wouldn't read any of the thoughts and feelings that didn't belong to me. But I needed a distraction earlier and so I started reading your story. You'll never know that I read it, or that I am saying sorry for reading it, but I'll feel better after I apologize so… I'm sorry._

_I guess I should also apologize for reading the whole thing. I haven't finished it yet, but I'm going to. I'm already hooked—can't turn back now. So I'm sorry again._

_Also, I'm rooting for you and Grace._

_I hope wherever you are now, if you're still around, that you're happy._

_Love,_

_Brittany_

The blonde closed the journal and set it gently on the night stand. She still kinda wanted to read more, but she definitely was getting more tired now, and she had work in the morning. After turning off the bedside lamp, she snuggled further down into the covers. It had been a really good day for one Miss Brittany Pierce.

* * *

The next morning found Brittany smiling contently while on her way up to the 17th floor. When she finally rounded the last corner separating her from Santana, she immediately went straight into her boss's office. As always, Santana was sitting behind her desk, looking down at a pile of notes. She was concentrating hard on whatever she was looking at. Her brows were furrowed again, and she had her bottom lip between her teeth. Was there anything in this damn world that she didn't look sexy while doing?

Hearing Brittany enter her office, she set her pen down and looked up at the blonde.

"Good morning, Brittany. How was your night?" she asked with a genuine smile on her face. Brittany amended her previous internal commentary. Santana was sexy _and_ adorable.

"It was fine thanks. How was yours? Did you sleep better?"

The smile remained on her face, but Brittany thought she saw a little frustration behind Santana's eyes.

"About the same as usual, I guess. It's okay though, I'm used to it."

"You know, I have a theory about that. About why you can't sleep."

Santana's gaze became curious. Brittany still wasn't really used to feeling she got when she was the object of Santana's scrutiny.

"Is that so?" she asked, leaning back in her chair and steepling her fingers beneath her chin. "And what is that?"

Brittany gulped. Fuck it.

"Have dinner with me tonight and I'll tell you."

Santana clenched and reclenched her jaw as silence erupted between them. Brittany was just preparing herself for Santana's usual refusal when a small smile appeared on the brunette's face.

"Okay," she said softly.

Brittany just blinked at her. Did Santana just say yes?

Her smile widened a little when Brittany didn't say anything. "You seem surprised, Brittany."

"I—well…" Brittany couldn't force the words out.

"Are you sure you really wanted me to say yes?" Santana said around another smirk.

The blonde took a steadying breath and restarted.

"Yes. I wanted you to say yes. I just… am surprised you did, I guess."

"I kinda am too," she said quietly. She started again before Brittany could say anything.

"This isn't a date, okay?"

Brittany nodded seriously. She figured as much. This would be a slow process, and she was okay with that. Santana accepted her nod and continued.

"So what did you have in mind then, Ms. Pierce?"

Brittany smiled. She liked when Santana called her that. And little dreamcatcher. And just Brittany, for that matter.

"Come home with me at five when I get off. I'll cook. You'll help."

"Demanding," Santana said, her eyes twinkling.

"You said it wasn't a date," Brittany said with a nonchalant shrug. "Plus there's no such thing as a free meal you know," she said with a wink before leaving the office to answer the voicemails. She knew Santana was watching her leave. It felt good.

Once seated at her desk, she looked up to see if Santana was still looking at her. The brunette had her head tilted to the side, the ghost of her earlier smile still etched on her lips. Her eyes were locked with Brittany's. The blonde tried to keep her internal flailing under control, but she knew she was smiling like a fool. Santana Lopez had just agreed to have dinner with her. Sure, she said it wasn't a date. But still.

Wrenching her eyes away from her boss, she picked up the receiver and began the morning routine. Four voicemails later, she checked the itinerary for today's date. Santana had quite a few meetings scheduled again; hopefully that meant the day would pass more quickly. Reentering the office, she laid out the schedule for Santana.

"Three new client consultations today at 11, 2, and 4. Before the 11 o'clock appointment you have a brief phone conference at 9:30."

Brittany handed over the list with the accompanying names.

"Got it," Santana said as she slid the list towards herself. She started perusing Brittany's notes without another word. Figuring Santana was already in work mode, Brittany turned around to leave her to it.

"Oh, and Brittany?" Santana said as the blonde reached the door. Brittany turned around to see Santana looking up, and quirked an eyebrow at her boss.

"Thank you," she said, tapping the end of her pen twice on the little post-it note Brittany had given her.

Brittany just nodded at her with a smile, already swooning again on the inside at how Santana always made her feel.

As she anticipated, the day was going by rather quickly. Before she knew it, Santana's 11 o'clock was already leaving and it was time for Brittany to take her lunch. Knowing she needed to actually grab a few things if she was making dinner for two, she ducked her head into Santana's office before leaving.

"I'm about to take my lunch while you've got a break. Do you need anything?" Brittany asked, leaning against the doorframe.

"So attentive," Santana said with a wink at her from behind her desk. "I'm fine, but thanks."

"Do you like chicken?" Brittany blurted out, without any preamble.

A very amused expression crossed Santana's face before she answered. She seemed to be suppressing a smile.

"Um, yes I do," she said seriously. "Do you like peanut butter?"

Brittany's expression instantly became confused, but she smiled in spite of herself.

"Um… yes? Why are you asking me that?"

"Dunno… thought we were asking each other random questions." Her amused expression was still on her face, and Brittany realized how odd it must have sounded to her to just ask if she liked chicken without any context. Without another word Brittany started laughing. And for some reason she just found the situation really funny. Her laughter was starting to get out of control and she knew soon she'd reach that point where no sound even comes out anymore. She'd just look like a laughing mime. It made her laugh harder. Pretty soon she heard Santana start to chuckle at her. It was just a soft, amused little laugh at first. But like Brittany, soon she began to laugh harder. It was then that Brittany realized she'd never heard Santana laugh, really laugh. It was a delightful sound, and Brittany knew she'd do anything to hear it again.

Both girls cackled for a few more moments, but eventually their giggle fits started to subside. Brittany felt more lighthearted than she had in a long time. She looked over at Santana, who was breathing kind of hard from their outbursts. She was smiling, and for once didn't look tired at all.

"Thanks for that," she said breathlessly.

Brittany smiled at her, elated she made Santana laugh.

"I had a reason you know. I wasn't just asking about your poultry preferences for fun."

Santana cracked another grin at her and raised an eyebrow, indicating she should continue.

"I'm going to pick up some things for dinner tonight on my break. I can make chicken, if you're okay with that."

"Chicken sounds wonderful," Santana said. It sounded sincere.

"Then I'll be back shortly," Brittany said happily. She left the office with a spring in her step.

After quickly picking up what she needed for tonight's meal at a nearby grocery store, she rushed to her apartment and tossed everything in the refrigerator. Then she hastily downed a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a glass of water before heading back to the firm. When she got off the elevator, she had exactly one minute to spare before her hour break was up. And now all she had to do was hope the rest of the day would hurry up.

* * *

Her wish seemed to be granted. After thinking of the countless possibilities for how the evening would go, Santana's last client was walking out of the office and it was five minutes to five o'clock. Brittany went ahead and put her purse and keys on the desk, counting down the last seconds like it was New Years. When her phone announced that it was time to go, she stood up and leaned once again against the doorframe.

"I'm ready when you are," she said happily.

Santana set her pen down and snapped her book shut.

"Punctual. Or are you just that excited?"

Brittany smiled. Hell yes she was excited.

"Dunno what you're talking about," she said sarcastically.

Santana smiled like she saw right through everything, and stood up with her purse. "Shall we?"

Brittany nodded her head behind her, in the direction of the elevator. On their way out she scooped up her purse and keys, happy her non-date with Santana was about to start.

Once out in the street, they began making their way back to Brittany's apartment in the fading evening light. Brittany made it about twenty paces before she looked over at Santana expectantly.

"What? Not gonna take my hand this time?"

Santana looked down at their hands, mere inches from one another.

"I told you this wasn't a date."

Brittany smiled. She knew that's what Santana would say.

"Yesterday wasn't a date either."

Santana looked up in fake shock.

"Did you just lawyer me?!"

"Consider yourself lawyered," Brittany retorted.

"Well, in that case I guess I have no choice…" she trailed off, looking out ahead. She slipped her hand into Brittany's. The blonde smiled in triumph.

Once at Brittany's apartment, both women went straight to the kitchen. Brittany grabbed the two raw potatoes she'd bought earlier, fished out a peeler from the drawer and handed everything to Santana.

"You can peel these!" Brittany said, as if such a task was like winning a prize.

"Hey now…" Santana responded, a suspicious look on her face, "I thought _you_ were making _me _dinner."

"I'm making the chicken, which takes less time, but far more skill," Brittany said simply, nudging the potatoes a little closer to the brunette. "And you agreed to help, so get crackin'…"

"I don't remember there being any 'agreeing'…" Santana said around a grin, but she went to the sink and quickly washed her hands before sitting back down at the counter and began to peel the first potato.

"Do you want a glass of wine?" Brittany asked, watching Santana work.

"Now we're talkin'," said Santana, concentrating hard on her potato. Brittany poured her a glass and set it beside her boss. After Santana finished the first potato she took a sip.

"Thanks," she said happily, picking up the second one and beginning to peel. Brittany too washed her hands and began chopping the peeled potato. After both potatoes were peeled and chopped, she tossed the lot into some aluminum foil with some black pepper, closed the foil, and tossed it in the oven.

"Do you like cooking?" asked Santana, having another sip of her wine as Brittany pulled the chicken from the refrigerator.

The blonde set it down on the counter and began tearing off the plastic covering.

"Yes… although I don't often cook like this. It's a lot of work for one person, you know?"

Santana nodded and watched Brittany as she cut away the parts they weren't going to eat.

"You said you had a theory, earlier. About my sleeping."

Brittany smiled. She had wondered how long it would take for Santana to ask. She put the chicken in a glass baking pan and threw on some lemon juice, seasoning, and more pepper before answering.

"I do," she finally responded, looking up at Santana before putting the chicken in the oven along with the potatoes. She reached into the refrigerator again and pulled out a bag of fresh green beans, and then a new knife.

"When I have trouble sleeping, or falling asleep," she said as she began slicing the ends off the beans, "it's usually because I can't make my brain shut up about one thing or the other."

She looked up at Santana pointedly. "I think you probably have too much on your mind at the end of the day. And you can't turn your brain off."

The woman opened her mouth to respond but Brittany cut her off.

"You don't need to tell me what it is… I just think that's why you can't sleep."

Brittany finished cutting off the ends and put the beans in a small pot before filling it with water. She set the pot on the stovetop to boil. Everything would be done in just a few minutes.

"And… if that were the problem… what would you suggest I do?" asked Santana, taking another sip of wine. Brittany got out another glass and poured herself some.

Brittany took a sip and smiled at her boss before answering.

"You should think about something your brain doesn't mind… dwelling on. That's what I do."

"And that works?" Santana asked incredulously.

"Like a charm."

After the beans boiled for a few minutes, Brittany pulled off the pot to drain them. Then she checked on the chicken, the top with all the seasoning had turned a golden brown and the smell of the lemon juice was permeating the apartment. It smelled pretty good; Brittany was proud. The potatoes had been in longest, but they were probably just getting done too. Pulling it all out of the oven, Brittany got two plates out and made one for both herself and Santana. Then she placed them on the counter and took the other chair next to Santana.

"I hope you like it," she said quietly. She felt oddly nervous, like she really wanted Santana's approval.

"It looks and smells delicious. Thank you," Santana said politely.

Both girls dug in. It tasted pretty good to Brittany but she still waited for Santana's opinion. After the first bite of chicken, Santana sat down her fork and looked up at the blonde.

"Brittany, this is so good," she said, not waiting long to take another bite.

Brittany exhaled. She was happy Santana liked her cooking.

"I didn't know cooking amazing food was in your job description," Santana said after another minute and winking.

Brittany looked at her in mock surprise. "You mean your last receptionist didn't cook for you?!"

An intrigued expression crossed Santana's face before she answered. "Actually, I've never had a receptionist before. You're my first."

Brittany chewed on that information for a moment, wondering why. It was odd for any larger New York attorney not to have an assistant.

"Did you not work for a very big firm before?"

"I—uh… asked not to have one, actually."

It was on the tip of Brittany's tongue to ask if Santana had wanted one when she took this job, but she changed her mind. Maybe she didn't want to know.

The rest of dinner was spent making small talk, but with Santana it was perfectly enjoyable. When they were finished, Santana helped Brittany put all the dishes into the sink.

"I'll wash these, since you cooked such a great dinner."

Brittany placed the last dish in the sink and looked down at the tiny brunette.

"Tell you what, you wash those. I'll make dessert."

"There's more?!" Santana asked happily. God she was the cutest thing in the world Brittany had ever wanted to also slam against a wall and make out with.

"What's a real meal without dessert?"

As Santana washed the dishes, Brittany started making her family's recipe of sugar cookies. Her mom and grandma had been making them ever since she could remember. She didn't know how far back it went. Santana was finishing up the last dish when Brittany was ready to put them in the oven. After she'd put them in, she looked for her little timer to make sure they didn't burn. It was resting on the counter on the other side of Santana.

Scooting behind Santana in the small space, she reached for the timer with one hand, while the other seemed to automatically find the brunette's hip and rest there. Santana almost instantly turned around to face the blonde, and in that moment Brittany was the closest she'd been to kissing the woman since that time in the office.

She looked down at full lips for a split second before she forced herself as far back as the small space would allow.

"Er… sorry… was reaching for this," Brittany said as she held up the timer lamely.

Santana smirked her signature smirk and nodded. "Uh huh," she said softly.

"Um…" Brittany said, clearing her throat, "would you like to wait in the living room with me? The oven… it's getting a little warm in here."

Santana gave her a knowing smile before tearing her eyes away and heading for the couch. Brittany quickly set the timer and followed.

"So…" Brittany said as she sat down on the couch next to Santana.

"So…" Santana responded, giving Brittany her mind-reading gaze again. "Any more theories about me you'd like to share?"

Brittany gulped. She had lots of theories about Santana. But they were all crazy and probably wrong.

"Er… nope. But you could just save me the trouble of creating new theories and tell me stuff."

Santana smiled, like she was contemplating that.

"What do you want to know?"

Good sign. Brittany decided to go with easy questions.

"Where did you go to law school?"

"Columbia. I graduated almost three years ago now," she said tonelessly. As if graduating from an Ivy League university was no big deal.

"Impressive," Brittany said quietly. "Three years ago… so that makes you…?"

"Twenty-seven," she said with a small smile.

"Oh, me too!" Brittany said happily. For some reason she really liked that they were the same age.

"Where did you grow up?" she fired away again. She was going to ask questions until Santana didn't want to answer anymore.

The brunette took a sip of her wine before answering.

"Outside of Chicago," she said slowly.

"And that's where your family is from?"

For some reason Santana took a deep breath as if she had to think about it.

"Yes, that's where they're from."

Brittany was about to fire off her next question when the timer in the kitchen dinged, signaling that the cookies were done.

"Saved by the bell," Brittany said with a wink, getting up to pull them out. She brought a plate of them over to Santana and watched as she took a bite.

"Wow… that's really good, too. You're a good cook, Ms. Pierce."

"Thank you, Ms. Lopez… although with these I can't take the credit. Family recipe. Mom taught me when I was a teenager."

Santana nodded, but her expression was almost unreadable. Brittany swore for a split second she looked almost sad.

"So…" Brittany said, picking up a cookie and taking a bite herself, "can I ask more questions now?"

"So curious…" Santana said softly, a playful smile pulling at her lips. "What do I get for answering all these questions?"

"A free meal wasn't enough?"

"Someone once told me there's no such thing as a free meal," Santana retorted quickly.

Brittany smiled. "Touché," she said lightheartedly. Without breaking eye contact, she scooted closer to the brunette on the couch and took one of her hands. She held it in one hand and began to trace lines with the other.

Santana's skin was always so smooth. She smiled at the blonde, silently giving the okay for more questions. Brittany thought she might as well try her luck.

"Are you glad that you came here? That you said yes?" Brittany started tracing her lines farther up, passing Santana's wrist and circling her forearm.

Santana looked down at Brittany's moving hand. "Yes," she said quietly.

Brittany moved even further up, tracing the line in the crook of Santana's elbow.

"Does this feel good?"

The woman closed her eyes at Brittany's wandering touch.

"Yes," she said again. Her voice was fainter.

Brittany scooted closer, their knees were now touching. She raised her hand higher, letting her fingers lightly graze Santana's bicep. The blonde was eternally grateful that Santana had worn a sleeveless shirt today.

"What are you thinking right now?" she whispered, letting her fingertips roam under the edge of Santana's shirt. She felt the bump that was the end of Santana's collar bone on her shoulder. She wanted to reach farther.

Santana's eyes were still closed, but she opened them to answer Brittany's question.

"I'm thinking that your fingers are magic. And I wonder what else they could make me feel."

Well. Hot damn.

Before Brittany could say anything, Santana spoke again.

"I'm also thinking I should probably go. Or this non-date will no longer still be a non-date soon."

Brittany gave Santana's hand a final squeeze before letting go and scooting back again.

"You're right. I'm sorry," Brittany said with her head hung.

Santana lifted Brittany's chin with her hand. "It's okay. I was enjoying it too. I just don't think I'm ready… but I tend to momentarily forget that when you're around."

Brittany smiled. "I won't slip up again," she said solemnly.

"Never say never," Santana said with a wink. There it went again, Brittany's crazy heartbeat.

Brittany got up and walked to the door to begin putting her shoes on.

"What are you doing?" Santana asked, joining her at the door.

"Walking you to your car, silly."

"Brittany, you don't have to. You made me dinner, and it was wonderful. You don't have to walk me back to the firm."

"No, but I want to. You always walk back alone and I—just come on," she said smiling at the brunette.

Santana sighed but didn't protest again. She was smiling too.

Walking down the street again, Santana took Brittany's hand again without prompting this time. Yes, it was starting to feel very natural indeed. If something so natural could always give you butterflies.

When they reached the parking deck, almost all the cars were gone. Santana pressed a little button on her car key and a black sports car beep and flashed it lights a few spaces down. It was a very nice car. When they got all the way up to it, Brittany checked the rear side. An Audi. Damn.

"Cool car," Brittany said, impressed.

Santana shrugged like she had with the school thing.

"Can I give you a ride back?"

"You know it won't take long to walk," Brittany reminded her.

"And it'll take even less time if I drive you," Santana said matter-of-factly.

Brittany smiled and walked around to the other side. "Let's go."

Santana's car was just as cool on the inside, and within minutes they were out in front of Brittany's apartment again. Randomly, Brittany thought of Maggie and Grace, sitting in a car saying goodnight over 70 years ago.

"Goodnight, Santana," she whispered. "Because this wasn't a date, I'm not going to kiss you. But you should know that I want to."

Santana smiled, like that information pleased her.

"Also," Brittany said, her hand on the car door handle, "when I said earlier you should think about something else at night… I meant it. And if you chose me to be that something else… well, I'd be okay with that."

The brunette's smile widened. God Brittany loved her smile.

"I'll keep that in mind," she whispered back. "Goodnight, Ms. Pierce."

"Goodnight, Ms. Lopez."

Brittany got out of the car and made her way up her building's steps. She hadn't felt this content in a long time.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: i can't begin to tell you how happy it makes me to continue getting follows/reviews etc. you're all great. thank you.**

**also, i forgot to mention last time... to the person who wrote me a review in the form of a journal entry... that was cute.**

**lastly, if you're not reading paperweight, do me a favor and go do it! hope you like this update :)**

* * *

After reentering her apartment, she wandered slowly back to her bedroom in a daze. Brittany internally reveled at the fact that she was slowly starting to learn more and more about the enigma that was her boss. A twenty seven year old Columbia Law graduate from Chicago. And this wonderful, beautiful woman actually wanted to spend her time in Brittany's company. The night had been perfect. Santana Lopez was perfect.

The conclusion of Brittany's non-date with Santana had left her feeling both sexually charged and oddly completely tired. But it was the happy kind of sleepy where you know as soon as your head hits the pillow you'll be dreaming, and Brittany liked the feeling. Looking at her bed, she felt kind of torn. She didn't know if she wanted to just strip down and crash until morning, or if she wanted to just strip down, pull out her vibrator, and fuck herself into oblivion.

After literally a few minutes of just standing there thinking, she finally decided on sleep. For some reason, the thought of getting off tonight after her time with Santana just didn't feel right. Like it would cheapen the evening. She made her way into the bathroom where she washed her face and brushed her teeth before crawling into bed. As she was lying there, she looked over to Maggie's journal. That story would have to wait for another day as well; Brittany didn't think she could hold her eyes open much longer. Plus, she was feeling rather content with her own story tonight.

As she was checking her cell phone to make sure her alarm was set for the morning, it buzzed in her hand, and she absolutely knew her new text was from Santana. Just the feeling of knowing Santana was thinking about her enough to text her made her smile. When she opened and read it, her smile grew wider.

**Santana Lopez: am i what you think about? when you can't sleep?**

Brittany contemplated her answer for a few seconds, trying to decide just how honest she wanted to be. She knew Santana wanted this to be taken slowly, but she also knew that a part of Santana just wanted her. Deciding to go with the truth, she sent her reply.

**Brittany: every time.**

The whole truth was that Brittany didn't just think of Santana when she couldn't sleep. She thought of Santana anyway, without provocation or motive. But Santana hadn't asked that question, had she, so Brittany didn't give that answer. After only a few seconds of waiting, Santana's reply came through with another buzz from her phone.

**Santana Lopez: good to know this won't be one-sided then.**

That was probably one of the cutest things Brittany had ever read. Her stomach squirmed with happiness knowing that Santana would be thinking about her tonight. About Brittany. She could get used to that idea.

**Brittany: it definitely won't be. goodnight santana. sleep well.**

After another couple seconds, Brittany got Santana's response.

**Santana Lopez: goodnight brittany. sweet dreams.**

Brittany placed her phone back on the night stand, but remained staring at it a few more seconds. She kind of hoped it would light up again, even though they'd just said goodnight.

As she sat there staring at it, she thought about just how much those little texts meant to her, how much her time with Santana meant to her. Santana might be the most beautiful creature she'd ever seen in her life, but for the first time, as Brittany lay there staring blankly at her phone, she realized that it was now more than that. Without any degree of doubt, Brittany now knew she had real feelings for Santana Lopez.

Letting the contentment of her revelation wash over her, she turned out the light and succumbed to her exhaustion. She was asleep in minutes.

* * *

Thursday morning, Brittany arrived at the office about fifteen minutes early. She hadn't meant to be early, it just kind of happened that way this morning. As was now customary, Brittany entered Santana's office before sitting down at her own desk. Her boss hadn't even finished writing whatever note she was writing before Brittany started talking.

"Did it work?"

She waited for Santana to respond nervously. As soon as she woke up that morning she felt oddly on edge. What if thinking about Brittany hadn't let Santana sleep? Brittany knew she'd feel disappointed if that were true. She wanted to be the reason Santana finally got the sleep she needed.

After what seemed like an eternity, that really was probably only a few seconds, Santana sat her pen down and looked up at the blonde. Her smile was radiant, and Brittany felt her knees threaten to buckle.

Without a word, Santana got up from her chair, walked around her desk, and came to stand in front of Brittany. Hardly standing there long, she then lifted her arms and snaked them under Brittany's, landing low on the blonde's back and pulling her in for a hug.

After getting over her initial shock, Brittany lifted her own arms and hugged Santana back, encircling her in a tight embrace. It was the first time Santana had ever hugged her, and it felt beyond amazing to stand there in Santana's arms. The brunette's hands remained firmly on her lower back, but Santana lifted her chin to rest it on Brittany's shoulder, and after a few seconds of happy silence, she whispered in the blonde's ear.

"I dreamed last night."

The way she said it… like having a dream was a privilege only reserved for the few, made Brittany think that dreaming was a rare occurrence for Santana. Possibly even nonexistent.

Santana sighed happily in Brittany's arms, her breath tickling Brittany's ear and sending a shiver down her spine. Brittany smiled, beyond happy at Santana's own happiness, and relieved her idea had worked. And, if she was being honest with herself, a little giddy that she was the reason for all of it.

She placed her hands on Santana's shoulders and pulled away a few inches so she could look at her. Santana left her hands linked behind Brittany's back, and Brittany found herself loving this position.

"What did you dream about?"

Santana looked down at the ground, and her radiant smile turned into a rather sheepish one. Brittany found herself grinning, wondering what kind of dream could give Santana that expression.

"I—it's fuzzy."

Brittany persisted. She knew Santana must remember something if she was smiling like she was embarrassed.

"Tell me what you remember."

Santana looked up again, and Brittany was reminded of a small child. The way they look when they know they're about to say something silly.

"I…I think I was on an adventure. There was a bad guy… I don't remember his name… I'm pretty sure I had a wand…"

Santana looked down again, obviously embarrassed at her dream. Brittany just kept grinning. Santana got more and more adorable by the day.

"So… a nameless bad guy and some wand-waving… so basically you dreamed you were Harry Potter."

Santana chuckled at Brittany's assessment, looking up into Brittany's beaming face.

"Those damn movies are on TV way too much."

It was Brittany's turn to laugh. She loved the way Santana said it, like it was the movies' fault she was having nerdy dreams.

"Thank you," Santana said seriously. She looked like she very much meant it.

Brittany just smiled and nodded. They were still standing very close; Santana still had her arms linked behind Brittany's back. The blonde was starting to hope maybe they could just do their work like this today.

"So you slept all night?"

At these words, Santana unlinked her hands and removed herself from Brittany's contact.

"Um, well not _all_ night."

Seeing the frown on Brittany's face made her immediately continue her thought.

"But I got a solid couple hours… which is more than I've had in a long time."

Santana lifted her hand and tucked a lose strand of blonde hair behind Brittany's ear. Brittany fought the urge to lean into her touch.

"And I have you to thank for that," Santana finished quietly, letting her fingers graze Brittany's neck as she lowered her hand. Another chill ran down Brittany's spine, and the skin Santana had touched felt both chilly and on fire.

"You know… it makes it harder for me to control myself when you're like this," Brittany whispered back, fighting hard not to take a step closer. Santana smiled.

"Would you rather I didn't?" she asked back.

Brittany clenched her jaw. This woman was so frustratingly sexy.

"No. I always want your hands on me. It just… makes it harder…" She lowered her eyes to very full, parted lips.

"You know what they say," Santana said softly, trailing a finger down Brittany's arm. "Practice makes perfect."

Brittany stood there, trying to just let herself enjoy the feeling of Santana's fingers grazing her skin. It was a fine line to walk—enjoying the feeling versus wanting to rip Santana's clothes off.

"See?" Santana whispered. "You're getting better already."

Brittany gulped. She was fast approaching her limit and she knew it.

Taking a step back, she took in a deep breath, and was grateful it didn't smell like Santana's perfume.

"We better not push our luck," she said looking down at the ground. Her voice sounded rough.

Looking up, Santana was smiling innocently at her. Brittany knew if ever one person could make another person actually explode, it would be Santana… and Brittany would explode because it's just impossible for one person to handle all the sexiness that was the woman standing in front of her.

"I'll be right back with your schedule," Brittany said, after clearing her throat to get that "I wanna fuck you" sound out of it. Santana nodded, and Brittany made her way out of the office and over to her desk.

Several minutes later, she was feeling a bit more poised. But she knew it'd all fall apart again if Santana so much as chose to look at her in that way she does.

Reentering her boss's office, she was a little relieved when Santana just let her go through

today's schedule and then let her leave again. She was also a little disappointed. She'd gladly sit through more internal struggle just to feel Santana's hands on her again.

The rest of the day passed without much interaction. Santana was getting busier and busier the longer she'd been at the firm. And Mr. Taylor had been right about hiring her. Having a young, fresh attorney amongst a firm full of old men was doing good things. She was bringing in all sorts of new clients.

By the end of the day, when Santana was done with her slew of new appointments, she came out of her office to come stand in front of Brittany's desk.

"Hi," she said, smiling happily.

Brittany just looked up at her in awe. Her shirt buttons were undone at the top, exposing the top part of her chest. Her sleeves were rolled up to the elbows, and her darker skin looked exactly perfect against the light color of the shirt. How could anyone come in to talk about their legal problems with her and still remember what they were?

"Hey you," Brittany said lowly, looking up at her with a smile. She kind of liked that Santana was standing over her for once.

"I'm assuming you were about to leave?" she asked as she looked down at the watch on her tiny wrist.

Brittany looked at the time on her phone; it was right at five o'clock.

"I was. Unless you need me to stay?" She wouldn't mind staying. Maybe she kinda wanted to now that all the clients were gone.

"No… I don't need you to. But… well I—I was just wondering… what you were doing tomorrow night?"

Brittany smiled up at her. She found it endearing that Santana could show such prowess when it came to flirting and teasing the crap out of Brittany… but then she got so nervous when it came to real interaction. Whereas she, Brittany, could shamelessly ask Santana to spend time with her, but turned into mush when Santana barely touched her.

Playing over in her mind what Santana just asked her, Brittany also felt her heart threaten to start beating strangely. Santana just asked her what she was doing on a Friday night.

"I hadn't planned anything yet. Is there a particular reason you're asking?" she asked innocently.

"Well—it's just… I moved into this new condo a couple months ago and I—I haven't had anyone over to come see it yet and I thought… maybe it'd be nice to have company. And then I thought—well, if you want to of course… it'd be nice if that company was you."

Brittany beamed up at her. This was the Santana she knew she had feelings for.

"I'd love to be your company, Santana."

The woman in front of her seemingly let out a huge breath, like she'd been holding it in.

"Okay… well… good. You can just ride back with me when it's time to leave if you want."

"I'm looking forward to it," Brittany said with her sincere smile.

Santana made her way back to her office, but turned around at the door.

"Me too," she said timidly.

She said it just softly enough to make Brittany's butterflies come back.

* * *

Back at her apartment, Brittany bounced around in her kitchen, making her dinner and humming tunelessly to herself. She had another evening with Santana outside of work to look forward to. The more time she spent with the woman, the more addicted she became to it.

After she finished eating dinner, she went back to her bedroom to do what she'd been thinking about doing all day during Santana's meetings. Snatching up Maggie's journal, she ran back to the living room with it tucked under her arm like a football and dove onto the couch. After flipping over and getting situated, she opened the journal up to where she left off before. She was dying to know the aftermath of Maggie's kiss with Grace.

As it was, Maggie's next entry was over a week after the time she'd written about their kiss.

_June 14, 1941_

_Dear diary,_

_Oh my God. I just want to write everything down so quickly. I just want to tell you. But then it wouldn't make sense. So I should just start from where I left off. I hope I can do it coherently._

_Well, you know Grace kissed me. Did I mention it was wonderful? That was a week ago._

_I haven't really been able to see Grace much in the last week. Just once when our families bumped into each other while we were all out. So obviously we didn't get to talk. That was okay though, she smiled at me, and I knew she was thinking about it._

_Because today is Saturday, a group of us (mostly the friends who came to my birthday party) decided to finally all go swimming down at the lake. It's really starting to get hot during the day, and the water is finally warm enough. Obviously Grace went. She is so beautiful._

_We all spent the entire afternoon down there; the girls mostly just talked in the water or lay out in the grass. The boys played with the swinging rope since I guess that's better than just sitting around. Jimmy Crouch got sunburned._

_But all of this is unimportant._

_Grace stayed with me all day. When we were in the lake she kept finding ways to touch me underwater. Either my hand, or my back, or my arm. And she'd wink at me. And nobody knew. It was our secret._

_When everyone else decided to leave, we decided to stay. We didn't even have to talk about it… we just both wanted to. And everyone left, and we sat in the grass again while the sun went down._

_I guess when she was sure nobody was around anymore, she couldn't hold back anymore. She kissed me again. Only this time, it was way different._

_This kiss was faster. And her hands were on me. And then somehow we went from sitting to lying. And then she was on top of me. It all happened so quickly, it almost seems like a blur, even though I remember exactly how it all felt._

_Before tonight, I always kind of thought the idea of having someone else's tongue in your mouth was gross. I was so, so wrong._

_I don't know how long we were kissing. All I know is that I was starting to feel a different wetness in my bathing suit than just being wet from swimming. That was unexpected. And then suddenly we heard some people laughing on the other bank, so we had to stop. We got up and ran, and by the time we got to my house we were both laughing uncontrollably. She makes me feel so… I don't know what the word is. I could have kept running with her forever._

_She didn't give me time to say anything. She kissed me again on my porch, and told me goodnight. Then she was gone. We'll talk next time._

_What an amazing day._

_Love,_

_Maggie_

Brittany absolutely loved this story. She smiled dopily at the pages, and her heart felt light too after reading about that experience. How exciting it must have been. The buildup all day with their friends, the moment they could finally be alone, the kissing, the running. An amazing day, indeed. She turned the page and continued. She was surprised to find a large gap between these two entries, and that the next one was particularly short.

_July 4, 1941_

_Dear diary,_

_I would have written before now, but there really hasn't been much to say again. Grace left with her family to go visit some family in Savannah a few days after… after we spent the day at the lake. They'll be there until the end of the month. I really miss her. We won't have much time left together by the time they get back._

_Daddy's having a barbeque this evening for Independence Day. All the adults will come over and pretend we aren't about to go to war. I think it makes them feel better…_

_Benjamin will be here. I don't know how I'm going to avoid him this time. There won't be many young people around. He's only coming because his parents were invited. I hope he leaves me alone._

_I hope the next time I write it will be with happier news._

_Love,_

_Maggie_

Brittany frowned at Maggie's handwriting, and hoped for something better in the next entry. What she saw was the shortest entry she's seen yet.

_July 18, 1941_

_Dear diary,_

_I'm going out with Benjamin tonight. My parents are thrilled. Me? I feel significantly underwhelmed. I can't wait for Grace to be back next week. I hope she isn't mad._

_Love,_

_Maggie_

"Come on…" Brittany muttered to herself, hastily turning the page. She thought the next entry looked promising.

_July 31, 1941_

_Finally. Grace is back. I loved seeing her face. Watching her walk up my driveway. I ran out to meet her and it felt so good to hug her again. We made our way down to the tire swings instead of the lake… it's a little overcast today and we didn't want to get caught outside, if it started to rain._

_We sat there… just swinging and smiling at each other for a while. But I knew we had lots to talk about. Eventually I just told her everything._

_I told her how much I missed her. How much I really enjoyed kissing her. Both times. She seemed really happy to hear that._

_I also told her about Benjamin. That I went out on a date with him. But I also told her that it was more to please my parents, and that I don't like him like that._

_I think she understood. But she asked if I'd kissed him the second I finished. I'm glad I didn't._

_After that I asked her if she didn't want me to see him again. I don't particularly want to myself, but I wanted to know if she didn't want that too. My stomach kind of fluttered a bit when she said she didn't want me to._

_I know my parents will continue to push it, but I am about to leave for school in a few weeks. Surely that's enough reason not to get involved with someone right now?_

_I don't know what's going to happen with Grace and me. Even if we weren't going to different schools, it's not like we could tell anybody what's happening between us anyway. This is the part that confuses me, and makes me sad. I just don't know._

_What I do know, is that it was so nice to feel her lips again. She smells so good. She makes my thoughts race, and it's exhilarating._

_I know that I loved her before. She's been my best friend forever. Am I going crazy to think that maybe I'm actually falling for her now? Has it been long enough to know that? I don't know… but I think maybe I am._

_I think I'm falling in love with my best friend._

_I'm so glad she's back._

_Love,_

_Maggie_

Feeling happy that Maggie finally got her reunion, Brittany decided to stop here and pick it up again another day. She was starting to feel restless. She missed Santana, and she no longer cared if that was pathetic or not.

* * *

After taking a long bath, Brittany did feel marginally more relaxed. She retrieved Maggie's journal, but instead of reading more of the 1940's love story, she turned to a blank page and wrote her own entry. She briefly thought about getting her own journal instead of continuing to use Maggie's… but this just… felt better.

_Dear Maggie,_

_I've been reading more of your story, and the way you write about Grace is adorable. I love reading about everything unfolding and your time period. It kinda sucks that you had to keep everything a secret though… it's not like that anymore. Not really._

_I guess you and I have that something in common though. I have feelings for a woman too. She doesn't know it. I don't think she does. I think she just thinks I really wanna hook up with her. Which is kinda sad. She's so much more special than that._

_I had a non-date with her last night. It was so wonderful spending time with her. I think she's finally starting to open up to me about her life and who she is._

_I guess we both have our problems, huh? You knew exactly who you were falling in love with, but couldn't share that with the world. I can basically tell whoever I want, but I know so little about this stranger I think I might be starting to fall for._

_Now I'm spending tomorrow evening with her… and already I can't wait. She just makes me feel so happy… and also so turned on._

_I guess you didn't need to know that… but then again you'll never read this so… oh well._

_God she's sexy._

_And I probably just need to go to bed. I'm starting to rile myself up just thinking about her._

_Until next time then._

_Love,_

_Brittany_

Closing the journal, Brittany went ahead and climbed into bed anyway. She still wasn't quite tired, and it really was still pretty early… but the faster she fell asleep the faster tomorrow would be here.

She started thinking of Santana again, and what they might be doing tomorrow night. She wondered what Santana's idea of a non-date at her house was. Then it hit her… Santana had very nervously asked Brittany about hanging out. On a Friday night. Maybe this wasn't a non-date?

Nervousness now washed over Brittany. What if it was a date? What if that's what Santana had intended when she asked Brittany?

Fumbling in the dark, she reached for her phone and quickly typed out a text.

**Brittany: so… i want to say first that i'm perfectly happy with whatever you choose but… is tomorrow another non-date?**

She waited, holding the phone open at that screen. After a few seconds, Santana responded.

**Santana Lopez: i was thinking… we could just not call it anything. and see what happens. if that's alright with you?**

Brittany read it twice. Did that mean there was potential for it to be a date? She was on board with that.

**Brittany: it's more than alright. goodnight santana.**

A few more seconds pass.

**Santana Lopez: i'm glad. goodnight brittany.**

Brittany sat her phone back down. It was the third night in a row Santana had told her goodnight. She could get used to that too.

* * *

Friday passed in exactly the opposite the way that Wednesday had. Wednesday had passed quickly, with much anticipation for their non-date. This day passed slowly, dragging on toward the time of their non-labeled time together with amazing longevity.

By the time five o'clock rolled around Brittany was dying to leave. She wanted to be somewhere else, with Santana. Alone.

"Ready to go?" her boss asked from the doorway of her office.

Brittany smiled up at her from her desk and gathered her bag and keys. Finally.

After they got down to Santana's car, Brittany felt her edginess that had been off and on all day start to resurface. She was going to Santana's house. She wondered what her condo was like. What colors she'd chosen to paint the walls. She wondered if Santana had a big bed…

Brittany shook her head, trying to dislodge those thoughts. She wouldn't last very long in control if she was already thinking about Santana's bed.

"You okay?" Santana asked, seemingly noticing Brittany's head shake.

"Oh yeah… just… it was nothing." Smooth cover up.

"So uh… what are we doing tonight?" Brittany asked quickly, trying to move on from her weird moment.

"Well… I'm no genius in the kitchen like you are… and we gotta eat so… I was wondering if you like Thai food?" She took her eyes off traffic for a brief moment to look over at Brittany hopefully, like she was trying to make up for not being able to cook. Yes, she was being adorable.

"Thai sounds perfect," the blonde replied with a smile.

Santana nodded, glad the suggestion was accepted. "There's a really good place that delivers to the condo."

After getting Brittany's order, she called the restaurant. They said they'd be there in thirty minutes.

"Fast… for a Friday night," Brittany said when Santana hung up.

"Yeah they're really good. We're almost there, so we won't have to wait long."

After only a few more minutes, Santana pulled her Audi into a small parking garage. There was only space for ten or fifteen cars.

She led them into a large building and up two flights of stairs before she stopped.

"This is me…" she said timidly, like she was nervous again.

She inserted her key and they stepped inside. After Santana turned on the lights, Brittany looked around, impressed.

They were standing in a very large, open condo. The living room took up most of the space in the middle of the floor, and the other rooms seemed to branch off of it and down the hall. Like Santana's Audi, this condo screamed money.

"Er yeah… this is my place. Kitchen through there," she said as she pointed to an arched doorway leading off to a decent sized kitchen. "Office is through there, spare bedroom there," she said, pointing to more doors. "Then down the hall, bathroom on the right, laundry room on the left. And then my bedroom at the end," she finished, looking at Brittany like she might not like it.

"Santana, this is a beautiful condo," Brittany said happily, taking her shoes off and moving farther into it.

"Oh, thanks," she said sheepishly, shuffling her foot across the lush carpet. "Have a seat… I thought maybe we could watch a movie?"

"That sounds perfect," Brittany said as she made her way to Santana's nice black leather couch. Looking around the room, she tried looking for things that made this place Santana's, not just a person with a large amount of money. There weren't any pictures on the walls, no artwork. And the paint was just a clean, bare white.

"How long did you say you've lived here?" Brittany asked, while Santana grabbed the remote to her flatscreen. Maybe she just hadn't gotten around to getting everything sorted yet…

"Oh, um… a few months…" Santana said. She was watching Brittany look around the room like she knew why Brittany asked.

Deciding not to push the subject, Brittany changed it to a lighter one.

"So, what are we watching?"

Santana smiled a flirty little smile at Brittany before she pulled out a familiar looking DVD and sat it on her knees facing Brittany.

"Did I tell you I really liked my dream the other night?"

Brittany couldn't help it. She burst into laughter as Santana put in the last of the Harry Potter movies.

"Fair enough. Although you know I can't not think of you as at least a little bit nerdy now," Brittany said playfully.

Santana just shrugged, like she didn't care at all.

She was about to hit the play button when they heard a knock at the door. Several minutes later they were both happily eating their Thai food and talking about how cool Dobby was.

Brittany now knew that there was no turning back. Santana Lopez was probably the most perfect person she'd ever met.

When it finally went off, Brittany looked over at Santana. She was looking back at Brittany, a genuine smile pulling at her lips.

"I'm glad you came over with me today," she said quietly.

"I'm glad I did too."

"Really?" she asked even more quietly.

Brittany furrowed her eyebrows. Why would anyone _not_ want to spend time with this amazing person?

"Of course. Santana, I may have a hard time keeping my eyes off you… and okay maybe sometimes my hands too… but that's not why I like you."

A small smile was starting to pull at the corner of Santana's mouth. "Why do you like me?"

"Because you make me smile. And you intrigue me. You make me want to know you."

The smile started to grow wider with every word.

"And all that would still be true even if you weren't the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."

Santana looked down, shaking her head.

"You're crazy."

Brittany looked down too, thinking that Santana might actually be right.

They spent the rest of the evening with Santana firing off questions at Brittany. It seemed she was just as curious about Brittany as Brittany was about her. By the end of the evening, she was pretty sure Santana knew even the silly things about her. Like the fact that she preferred apple to grape jelly. She liked that Santana wanted to know everything.

After answering a particularly tough question about whether or not she thought racing cars was a sport, Brittany had to stifle her first yawn of the evening.

"And we've finally done it. I'm boring you," Santana said playfully.

Brittany laughed and shook her head. "You could never bore me. I'm just—sleepy," Brittany said around another yawn.

"Then let me take you home," Santana said, getting up and offering Brittany her hand.

Brittany took it just because she'd been dying to touch Santana all evening, but she declined the offer.

"Santana, I can catch a cab. It's no big deal."

Santana shook her head firmly.

"Nope… I brought you here. Let me take you home. I want to."

At these words a very sly smirk spread across Brittany's face.

"Compromise?"

Santana quirked an eyebrow like she was interested in where this was going.

"Keep holding my hand on the way back, and okay."

Santana laughed. "You should have asked for more than that, Pierce. I was gonna do that anyway."

Brittany's jaw dropped. God she loved it when Santana used different names for her.

"But—" she started, but Santana cut her off, pulling her towards the door.

"No buts, a deal's a deal," she said with a wicked little grin.

They made their way back to Brittany's apartment in a happy silence, Brittany using her free hand to trace Santana's.

When they pulled up at the curb in front of Brittany's apartment building, Santana put the car in park and got out, surprising Brittany. She walked the blonde right up to the outside doorstep.

"You didn't need to walk me to the door," said Brittany, smiling at the brunette.

Santana smiled back, like she knew something Brittany didn't.

"Dates walk their dates to the door at the end of the evening," she said simply.

Brittany's brain was still in the middle of trying to process that statement, when Santana chuckled and gently put her hands on both of Brittany's cheeks. Brittany was still pretty much in shock when the woman then lightly pulled Brittany towards her. And just when the blonde finally processed that this was about to happen, was really about to happen, Santana's lips met hers tenderly. She gave Brittany the sweetest, lightest of kisses, before she pulled back, beaming.

"I hope that was okay," she said softly. Her hands were still on Brittany's cheeks. She could feel Santana's thumb grazing her cheekbone.

Brittany had no words. 'Okay' was nowhere near the word she was thinking of to describe what just happened, but she couldn't seem to get her mouth to work, so she just nodded.

Santana smiled at Brittany's inability to communicate.

"Goodnight then, Brittany. I had fun tonight."

Santana gave one last stroke of her thumb across Brittany's cheek and let her hands fall. Brittany's brain was finally working enough to force a few words out.

"Goodnight, Santana."

With that, the brunette turned around to get back in her car. And Brittany entered her apartment building in another Santana-induced daze.

* * *

**leave reviews if you like!**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: naya, thank you for getting instagram. also, hot damn.**

**glee, eff you again to the fiery pits.**

**i hope you like the update! it's 4:30AM here so if there are spelling issues then please forgive me until my brain is functional enough to fix them. i'll shut up now. enjoy!**

* * *

The blonde walked back through her apartment feeling giddy and light. She was pretty sure Santana had just called their evening a date, and she was positive the little kiss she'd gotten at the end of the night was the most perfect goodnight kiss she'd ever received. She could still feel Santana's warm hands stroking her face, her soft lips touching Brittany's for a split second that felt infinite.

Reaching her bedroom, she spun on the spot at the foot of the bed and fell backwards into the sheets, her legs dangling off the end. She lay there, staring up at her ceiling and replaying the night in her mind. Eating Thai food with Santana, watching Harry Potter with Santana, hearing her laugh at Brittany's jokes, watching her smile as the blonde answered question after question that Santana fired at her. She hadn't even known it was a date until it was over, but it was the best date she'd ever had.

Scooting up in the bed, she put her phone on the charger and saw Maggie's journal lying there waiting for her.

"Yesss," she whispered to herself as she reached for the old leather book. She felt like it had been so long since she'd read more of the enchanting tale of a 1940's stranger, even though she'd just read from it the day before. Settling against her pillows, she opened the journal to the next unread entry.

_August 1, 1941_

_Dear diary,_

_No more questions. I am most definitely falling in love with her. _

_We were just getting back to my house after taking a walk and she just stops to pick a flower. She doesn't say anything, she just stops. And she picks a flower and smells it. And I swear the sun shined down just for her today, making her look like a goddess. She's so beautiful. And she looked at me and just put it in my hair. It was such a simple gesture but in that moment I knew everything had shifted. She was the person I've loved since childhood, and now she's the person I'm falling in love with. And she didn't even have to say anything._

_And then, well I don't mean to be crude, but I really can't help it… and then we went back to my bedroom like always._

_It's kind of nice being able to just come up here with her without any suspicion._

_Anyway… we came back up here and she shuts the door. And I don't know why I did it… why I needed to so badly. I pulled her onto my bed, on top of me._

_I think kissing her is like getting glimpses of heaven… or maybe taking a drug. I don't know, whichever induces euphoria._

_She kissed me back too, readily. I got the feeling she had been waiting for it as well._

_Her tongue kind of makes me feel like I could faint. In a good way._

_When I felt her hand start to move towards my chest, I really almost wanted to panic. I almost grabbed her wrist to stop her, but then I remembered that it was Grace. That I trust her. That even though I felt a little scared, I was also kind of thrilled at the idea of her touching me. I guess she figured out that I wasn't going to stop her, because she finally did touch me. _

_I don't think I'm really used to the feeling yet, but as soon as she did I got really wet again. And then she started kissing my neck. And I got wetter._

_I don't know what would have happened if we hadn't heard my mother coming up the stairs. How far it would have gone. I just know I wanted it to go farther._

_I can't even imagine how good everything would feel with less clothes separating us._

_When my mother came in the room, Grace smiled and chatted as always. She talked to my mother easily, as if she hadn't just been lying on top of, and kissing the neck of the woman's daughter. I wasn't so collected. For me it was a challenge to even breathe right._

_Grace is so much better at that than I am._

_It was time for dinner so Grace left, but I got to steal a goodnight kiss from her on the porch._

_I only have a month left with her. We both start college on the Monday of the first._

_Which means I probably need to kiss her again as much as possible until then._

_Until I write again,_

_Maggie_

"Aww," Brittany muttered to herself, happily turning the page to read more. Maggie was adorable. But if the blonde was being honest with herself, she was kinda hoping there'd be a little something something before they went off to college. Maggie's next entry was a week and a half after the last one.

_August 11, 1941_

_Dear diary,_

_My parents are starting to get more and more things for me to take with me to my college dormitory. Before school ended, I couldn't wait for college to start. To live in a dormitory with a roommate, away from here. Now, I get sad every time I think about it. They keep telling me they want to throw a party before I leave, and I keep telling them no. They just don't want to listen._

_And they keep asking if I'm going to see Benjamin again. I guess the college he's going to isn't very far from mine, so the excuse of never getting to see him isn't really working anymore. Why does everything have to be so complicated?_

_I can tell it bothers Grace when my parents mention him, but she never says anything about him. Well really, she hasn't really said anything about us either. Until today. I guess I finally found the courage to ask her about everything._

_I asked her what all this was to her. What I was to her._

_I think I almost cried. She told me she was starting to fall in love with me. That her stomach goes crazy when she kisses me._

_That she misses me at night._

_I told her I loved her back. And when she kissed me afterward I could feel her love. I can't believe how quickly this happened, but already it feels like I'm wasting time if I'm not with her. My body feels better when her hands are on me, when her lips are on me._

_Saying goodbye to her will be devastating._

_I hope these next two and half weeks will go by slowly._

_Love,_

_Maggie_

Brittany finished the entry, feeling a little smitten with this love story, and also a little sad. She knew an inevitable goodbye was coming between them, and she didn't want to see the sadness of it written on paper. She just wanted more kisses, more love. Feeling brave, she turned the page and decided to read one more entry before going to sleep. It was dated for the day before they both left for college.

_August 31, 1941_

_Dear diary,_

_Where to start?_

_It's late. I should be sleeping. I'm leaving for college in just a few hours, but I can't sleep. Not now._

_Despite my many refusals, my parents still managed to have a going away party for me tonight. Every time I looked at Grace, I wanted to cry. But she just smiled at me like always. She's so good at making me feel better. Halfway through the night, she said she needed to leave to pack for the morning. I almost broke down right then, too. That was not the goodbye I wanted with her. But when she hugged me, she slipped a note into my hand._

_It told me to meet her by our spot at the lake at midnight. So romantic._

_I was so impatient for the party to end after that. And so excited to see her again. I knew it wouldn't be easy to sneak out, but I'd do it for her._

_When it was finally time, I managed to sneak out the back door. It creaks less. And she was there, waiting for me at our spot. A blanket was already spread out and she was just sitting there watching the lake._

_I sat next to her, and we sat only a few seconds before she was kissing me. It was different this time, more desperate. We both knew it was the last time for at least a little while, so I think we both felt a higher need for it._

_Before I know it, she's pulling my clothes off, and I'm not stopping her. I've wanted this to happen all summer long. And I guess at first I felt a little exposed, a little shy. But then I saw the look on her face in the moonlight when she looked at my body, and all that vanished. I could tell she wanted me._

_I felt so confident as I took her own clothes off. God her skin is perfect._

_We made love by the lake tonight. The first time for both of us. I wasn't scared, or hesitant. I knew it was right._

_Oh, and if I thought kissing her was perfect… then this… well, I guess there just aren't words._

_I laid in her arms afterward. I could have fallen asleep it was so peaceful._

_Eventually we did have to say our real goodbye. We both cried, but I have so much hope._

_I will miss her terribly until I see her again, but one thing is certain._

_Grace is my soulmate. No goodbye is permanent for us now._

_Love,_

_Maggie_

Brittany closed the journal softly, smiling like a fool. If that wasn't the sweetest thing she'd ever read she didn't know what was. She couldn't help but think of Santana. Like Maggie with Grace, Brittany thought kissing Santana was pretty much the epitome of pleasure. She couldn't imagine how wonderful their first time would be. If there was a first time in their future. She wondered what kind of lover Santana would be…

Feeling her thoughts start to shift away from "sweet" and more towards "really friggin' turned on," she set the journal back onto the nightstand, turned the light out, and let more thoughts of Santana run through her mind until she fell asleep.

* * *

Saturday morning dawned bright and early, but Brittany didn't feel tired when she sprung out of bed. It's amazing what one good date can do for your morale. She hummed to herself in the shower, wondering what she'd do with her day today. She obviously thought of a particular brunette she'd love to spend the day with, but she didn't want to come off as clingy. After all, they _did_ just have their first day the night before, maybe she should give Santana the day to herself.

Or at least the morning.

Drying off, she wondered what Santana was up to. Surely she was already up, seeing as how she sleeps less than a machine. For some reason it was hard to picture Santana just lounging around her condo. Like sitting around in sweat pants watching TV was a weird thing for Santana to do. Trying to imagine it just made Brittany smile to herself.

After she'd thrown on some shorts and a tank top, she made her way to her living room, where she did in fact plan to sit around and watch TV.

A movie and a half later, Brittany hears her stomach start to rumble and she gets up to make herself lunch, seeing as she skipped breakfast entirely. She left the TV on for background noise as she made her lunch, and sat at the barstool happily eating her sandwich and watching the movie still playing from across the counter.

After she finished, she went back over to the couch to finish her movie. When it finishes with a cheesy albeit satisfying scene showing the two main characters finally kissing, Brittany's mind snaps back to Santana. Man she wants to kiss her again. Not able to restrain herself anymore, she picks up her phone and sends a text to the woman that's been dominating her thoughts all morning.

**Brittany: hi.**

There. That didn't sound too clingy. She feels the butterflies start to stir when her phone buzzes almost immediately.

**Santana Lopez: hello :)**

Brittany looks down at the smiley face. She wishes she could see Santana smiling right now.

**Brittany: what are you doing?**

Again, she waits only seconds.

**Santana Lopez: talking to you. although before that i was getting some work done for next week. what are you doing?**

Of course Santana was working. Brittany shouldn't be surprised. She sends a playful text back anyway though.

**Brittany: work on a saturday? i'm talking to you. although before that i was watching a movie.**

Why can't her life always consist of talking to Santana?

**Santana Lopez: i didn't have any better offers… so yes, work on a saturday.**

Brittany thought about how she wanted to respond. Dare she go there? To that very flirty place that often led to Santana teasing the crap out of her. Yes, yes she does dare go there.

**Brittany: and if you had a better offer?**

Twelve seconds pass until her phone buzzes again.

**Santana Lopez: i may be persuaded to stop working. with the right offer.**

Brittany contemplates how to word her next text. After a few seconds she decides and hits send, waiting anxiously for Santana's reply.

**Brittany: pajama party?**

This time sixteen seconds pass.

**Santana Lopez: i'm at the office. do you have pajamas to spare?**

Relief. Excitement. And let's face it… Brittany's a little turned on, again, at the idea of Santana in her pajamas. Santana… in short shorts… She quickly types out her reply.

**Brittany: of course.**

Nine seconds.

**Santana Lopez: then i'll see you soon.**

Brittany places her phone back down, letting the contentment of seeing Santana soon wash over her. She relaxes into the couch for about four seconds when she realizes her apartment is kind of a mess.

"Shit!" she whispers out loud, whirling up and streaking around the apartment, tidying up.

She had thrown all the dirty clothes into the wash, tidied up her mail that had been littering the countertop, and made up her bed when she heard a soft knock at her front door. She quickly straightened the pillow she had been placing and meant to take off for the front door when she saw Maggie's journal out of the corner of her eye. Very quickly, she reached for it and placed it inside the drawer of her nightstand. She still didn't want Santana to see it, for some reason. She couldn't really even explain it to herself.

When she reached her front door, she flung it open to see Santana standing there in all her glory, black slacks and a comfortable looking gray V-neck sweater making her look sexy as always.

"Hi," she said breathlessly, feeling a little self-conscious in her shorts and tank top. She also realized she was wearing no makeup. And no bra.

Santana didn't seem to mind. In fact, Brittany was positive the look Santana just gave her was one of appreciation. She also didn't miss Santana's eyes travel down her long legs and back up. Well, that was satisfying.

"Hi," she said back, grinning happily.

Brittany took a step back out of the doorway to let the brunette in, hyperaware that the drafty hallway was starting to make her nipples get a little harder.

"You really meant pajamas, didn't you?" Santana asked with a little laugh as she kicked off her pumps and made her way into the apartment.

"Don't like what I'm wearing?" Brittany asked innocently, shutting the door and fixing Santana with a grin.

"Well, I didn't say that…" Santana said, letting her sentence trail off and letting her eyes rake over Brittany's body again. Brittany was sure her gaze paused for moment at her boobs. She looked down to see that the outline of her now hard nipples was showing perfectly through her light pink tank top.

Deciding not to feel self-conscious about that, her boobs were nice after all, she started making her way down the hallway.

"Can't join the party 'til you've got jammies on!" she called behind her. She heard Santana chuckle and start to follow.

Fishing through her dresser drawers, she found another pair of shorts and tank top very similar to the ones she was wearing. She couldn't wait to get Santana in them. She'd never seen anything higher than the woman's knee.

Handing them over, she watched as Santana inspected the clothing she'd been given.

"This… isn't much," she said with a grin, like she knew exactly why Brittany had chosen them.

Brittany just shrugged and said she'd be in the living room when Santana was finished changing.

After only a few minutes, Santana emerged from the hallway, clad in Brittany's clothes and looking sexy as hell. Brittany knew she was leering too, but she couldn't help it. Santana's legs, in those shorts… she should probably just start wearing them to work. The tan skin of her thighs was toned and smooth, just like the rest of her. She really was perfect.

Pulling her eyes upward, she noticed that Santana had chosen to leave her bra on, her flawless boobs pushed up just slightly, and the material of the tank top straining to hold them in. Brittany gulped. People just shouldn't be this hot.

Santana sat down on the couch next to the blonde, and watched with an amused expression as Brittany tried again to form words but couldn't.

"Something you wanna say, Brittany?" she asked, feigning ignorance.

"You're so sexy," Brittany blurted without thinking. Jesus, she needed to control her word vomit.

Santana's amused expression only intensified and Brittany felt herself start to blush.

"Er… sorry… I dunno why I just said that," Brittany mumbled, looking away from the woman in front of her. It was probably her best shot at forming a coherent, non-embarrassing sentence.

"I think you're sexy."

She looked up quickly to see Santana give her a quick wink before she changed the subject.

"So, are we watching a movie?" she asked nonchalantly.

Brittany cleared her throat and tried again at being normal. How did Santana pull that off so easily?

"It's sort of mandatory to watch movies during a pajama party," she said matter of factly.

"Ahh, well then… forgive me for being rusty on the rules. Host's choice," she said as she picked up the remote on her armrest and handed it to Brittany. Setting the TV to the right input, Brittany picked a DVD from her collection and put it in the player. She'd chosen a romantic comedy, hoping something light and funny would spark the right mood for a pajama party. Then she flicked the lights off and sat back down beside Santana. Sitting in semi-darkness with Santana, she felt like a horny teenager again. She was watching the movie, but all she really wanted to do was lean over and start making out with the woman. She wondered if Santana felt the same. If she felt the subtle electric current that seemed to be flowing between them.

"Can I get a glass of water?" Santana suddenly asked and looked over at her.

"Um, of course. Do you want me to get it for you?" Brittany asked back.

"Nope, I know where everything is," Santana replied with a smile. She bounced up off the couch and made her way to the kitchen. Her ass looked just as good in those shorts as her legs. Brittany kind of wished the TV light was brighter.

When she returned with her glass of water, she placed it on the coffee table and sat back down. But Brittany was completely positive it was closer to her than she was before. Deciding she wanted in on this game, she looked over and asked her own question.

"Do you want a blanket?" she asked, raking her eyes once again over perfectly toned thighs.

"Oh, yeah that'd be great. Thanks."

Brittany went back to the bedroom and once again retrieved the blanket that stayed at the foot of her bed. When she returned with it, she made sure to sit a few inches closer to the brunette. When she threw the blanket over both their laps, she made sure to brush the outside of Santana's thigh as well. There.

A few more minutes pass and they both just watch the movie. Well, Brittany pretends to watch. Honestly if she'd never seen it before she'd have no idea what was going on. She was way too focused on the fact that she was close enough to feel the heat coming off Santana's legs under the blanket.

The next thing Brittany knows, Santana shifts ever so slightly in her seat and now her bare thigh is touching Brittany's. Her skin is scorching, and Brittany wants so badly to reach over and stroke it. She balls her fists up and crosses her arms under the blanket.

The rest of the movie is spent in delicious torture. Santana's leg is pressed up against Brittany's and all Brittany can think about how much more she wish was pressed up against her. When the credits finally start to roll, she feels Santana's eyes on her and looks over at the brunette. She's got that smirk on again. Brittany wonders if this movie was just as hard for Santana to watch as it was for her.

"Hi," Santana says lowly. Her voice sounds a little huskier than usual and Brittany is absolutely certain she's just as turned on.

"Hi," she says back, letting her eyes fall to those amazing lips.

"What now?" she whispers, quirking a very suggestive eyebrow at Brittany.

Fuck it all. That raised eyebrow suggested enough. Brittany unclenches her fists and begins to lean in, wanting so desperately to feel Santana's lips again.

Her stomach, apparently, wanted something else though, and it rumbles embarrassingly loud.

Santana chuckles at Brittany's talking stomach and throws the blanket off both of them.

"Funny, I'm hungry too."

She extends her hand to Brittany, who takes it eagerly, and is led into her own kitchen.

"Are you cooking this time?" Brittany asked amusedly.

"I have no idea how to cook…" Santana replied a little sheepishly.

"Looks like you're helping again then," Brittany says with a smile. "Our choices might be limited though…" she finishes as she looks through her scant refrigerator.

"I'm happy with whatever," the brunette replied from the barstool.

After a few minutes, Brittany threw together a dinner consisting of turkey sandwiches and red wine. Classy.

"I would have gone to the store if I had thought this out more," she said a little guiltily as she finished her sandwich.

Santana swallowed the bite she was taking and took another sip of wine. But when she looked at Brittany her smile was genuine.

"Brittany, this is just fine," she said happily. Then she looked down and said a little more quietly, "I'm happy to have any dinner with you."

Brittany couldn't help but return Santana's smile. She was so cute when she was bashful. Santana cleared her throat and when she spoke again her voice was louder.

"So, you didn't really plan this then? Inviting me over?"

Brittany paused, but decided ultimately to tell the truth.

"Er… no. It was more of a whim thing."

"And what made you decide to take that whim?"

_Watching two fictional characters kiss and thinking about kissing you._

"Oh… um… I just thought of you and… decided to see what you were up to."

Santana just nodded. Brittany didn't know what the brunette made of that information.

After they were both done, Brittany refilled their wine glasses and they made their way back to the couch for another movie. Santana made no attempt to sit away from her again, and as soon as Brittany sat back down after putting the new movie in, Santana was there. Her leg, which felt even warmer now, was there. Brittany didn't think there was any way possible to make it through this movie like this again. She leaned forward to take another sip of her wine, and when she sat back again, Santana was watching her instead of the movie. Her dark eyes fell to Brittany's lips and she smirked again. Santana Lopez was too fucking sexy to handle. Balling her fists again, she tore her gaze away and resumed watching the movie.

Not even a whole minute had passed before Brittany's level of arousal, and frustration, was increased. Santana's hand was on her bare thigh. Her fingers were tracing patterns against the very sensitive skin, and with every new swipe they came further and further in. Brittany's underwear was soaked through in seconds. What the hell was wrong with her?

She didn't speak, but she knew that Santana knew she was turned on. Her breathing was becoming audibly more shallow. And it was definitely hotter under the blanket. She endured Santana's sweet torture silently until the woman took a particularly long swipe against the inside of her thigh. She could feel Santana's fingertips just under the hem of her shorts.

"God, Santana…" Brittany let out shakily, letting her head fall back against the couch.

The woman didn't stop her stroking. Pretty soon Brittany knew Santana would actually brush her underwear. And she couldn't wait. Her clit was already throbbing.

"Santana… please…" Brittany directed at the ceiling.

"Tell me how turned on you are."

Even more wetness invaded Brittany's panties at the firmness in Santana's command.

"Find out for yourself," Brittany challenged her, using the rest of her willpower in that one sentence. She looked away from the ceiling and back at the brunette. The movie played on, completely forgotten.

"I think you could be more turned on," Santana said huskily.

Without any further preamble, Santana shifted her position and leaned in. And then all Brittany knew was that Santana's lips were on hers again. She tasted like the red wine they were drinking and it was ecstasy. Instinctively, Brittany leaned back and pulled her legs up onto the couch. Santana complied with this change of position, and then she was on top of Brittany, their bare legs tangling together. She held her torso up though, not putting her weight on Brittany, or giving her the friction she desperately needed.

"Santana… I need to feel you," Brittany said desperately, freeing her lips from Santana's to say it.

Santana smirked down at her, but lowered her body. Her perfect boobs pressed into Brittany's and her hip came to rest right over Brittany's clit. This woman knew what she was doing.

Lowering her head, she started placing open-mouthed kisses down Brittany's neck and collar bone. Brittany's breathing was starting to pick up.

Kissing her way across Brittany's chest, she made her way up to Brittany's ear and whispered one of the most seductive things Brittany's ever heard.

"Is this how it starts? What you think about? When you're getting off to me?"

Um, this was better.

"Jesus, Santana…"

The woman didn't wait for Brittany to elaborate further. She began kissing her again with renewed vigor. Her lips, down her jawline, across her neck, her collarbone. And Santana's lips were flawless, and they moved flawlessly over Brittany's skin. And the blonde wanted to feel them in more places. She was getting so worked up, and Santana hadn't even touched her yet. Without any control over it, Brittany let out a loud moan.

Bringing her lips back to Brittany's ear, she placed one more kiss before she whispers again.

"Are you going to moan for me when I fuck you?" As she finishes her question, she bites down gently on Brittany's neck below her ear, and at the same time her hand finds Brittany's breast and she begins to massage it through Brittany's tank top. Her nipple immediately hardens again under Santana's touch and then she feels Santana circle it with her fingertip. And then the woman's tongue is soothing the bite she made to her neck. And really it's all just too much for her body to handle. The sexiest woman on the fucking planet is circling her nipple, kissing her neck, and talking dirty to her. Brittany wonders how she hasn't exploded already.

Seemingly reading her mind, Santana then does the thing that Brittany's body can't handle. Very lightly, Brittany feels Santana's hip grind gently against her clit. And even through her soaked underwear, and now probably shorts too, it's still too much for her oversensitive skin. She feels that familiar tightening in her stomach and is shocked this is happening already.

"Oh my god, Santana…"

She waits a few more seconds to be sure. Santana gently rocks into her core a few more times. Yes, she's sure.

"Santana… oh god… I think I'm going to…"

Santana stops kissing her neck to whisper in her ear one last time.

"That's right… come for me baby." And then her tongue licks the outer shell of Brittany's ear and it's too much. All of it combined, the slight grinding, the touching, kissing… Santana called her baby…

Brittany feels her insides contract wildly, and her hips involuntarily buck up to find more friction against Santana's. She's moaning loudly again, but she doesn't care.

Santana lets her ride out her orgasm, continually kissing her neck but now more gently, more caring. And when Brittany's body finally decides to unwind, Santana lifts her head and looks down at her. She looks at Brittany with an adoring expression, and Brittany could probably just melt right there. Well, she kind of already did…

"God Santana," Brittany says breathlessly, looking up at her. Her breathing is still ragged and she can't believe that just happened. She's pretty sure having an orgasm without even really being touched there, _through_ her clothes, has never ever happened before.

Santana leans down and places one more kiss to Brittany's lips, and then she just rests her head on Brittany's shoulder, letting all of her weight fall against Brittany. It was the best feeling in the world.

"I'm tired," she says sleepily against the skin of Brittany's neck.

Tired wasn't exactly what Brittany was thinking, but Santana had definitely wiped a little of her energy.

"But… what about you?" She couldn't help the fact that her question sounded more like a plea. She wanted so badly to just flip them over and fuck Santana until she was the one screaming.

Santana lifted her head and looked down at Brittany with a smile.

"Would you hate me if I told you I'd rather wait? For me?"

Brittany returns the smile and shakes her head. She could never ever hate Santana. She was definitely falling in love with her.

"And when you don't want to wait anymore?" Brittany asked, hope entering her voice.

"You'll be the first to know," she said around another smile.

"Can we finish watching this in bed?" Santana asks, nodding her head towards the movie that was now probably halfway over.

Brittany grinned dopily up at her. She was sure Santana would want to leave after what just happened.

"You want to stay here? You don't want to sleep at home? It's been getting better, hasn't it?"

"It has. But it's more fun sleeping next to you."

Brittany chuckles at how cute Santana is being and nods. "Can't argue with that."

The blonde retrieves the DVD from the player and they make their way back to the bedroom. Once it's playing again, Brittany climbs into bed and lays down into her pillows. Her body is still getting over the amazing orgasm she'd just unexpectedly had.

Not waiting to fall asleep this time, Santana scoots over and cuddles up next to Brittany, watching the movie with way more attention now.

Brittany looks down at the brunette, and begins to hope that maybe, just maybe, this wonderful, perfect, beautiful, mysterious goddess was starting to fall in love with her too.

* * *

**please leave comments if you like!**


	14. Chapter 14

Lying in bed watching a movie with Santana was probably the best way to spend a Saturday night that Brittany could think of. But they weren't just lying in bed. They were cuddling. Legit cuddling, and Brittany couldn't really think of a way to be more comfortable. She laid on her back, with Santana's head in the crook of her neck, her arm resting lightly over Brittany's stomach, and one of her legs casually lying across Brittany's. Brittany's arm was tucked behind Santana's shoulders, and while she traced light patterns over the woman's arm, Santana did the same across Brittany's stomach. With all this extra skin on skin contact, they were perfectly walking the line between sweet comfort and tantalizing seduction. Every breath Santana took danced along the bare skin of Brittany's chest, and try as she might to control her thoughts, she couldn't quite shake the notion that Santana's perfect lips were just inches from her still hard nipple. That her thin tank top was the only thing separating them. Every time Santana laughed at something in the movie, Brittany could feel every movement of the woman's body against hers. She wished they were watching something funnier.

As the movie was reaching its end, Brittany began to shift her thoughts back to what happened between them on the couch. Santana's body moving against hers like that, her expert hands cupping her breast, her teeth biting into the flesh of Brittany's neck. And then Brittany coming undone underneath her, without even a real touch. Just Santana's proximity and the sound of her voice in Brittany's ear. She could practically still feel the blood pounding through her veins. And then she thought of that moment afterward, that moment when she knew she was about to feel Santana for the first time. How brief that moment had been, and how quickly it had been replaced with a mild feeling of rejection.

Santana wanted to wait, and Brittany respected that, but she couldn't help but wonder why. They've played this game of trying to squash their desires for so long now. Brittany thought that was finally over. Especially now, as Santana is happily curled up in her arms, Brittany wonders why she doesn't want to take that step with her.

The TV screen goes black and then the credits start to flash across it. Deciding just to go for it and hope for the best, Brittany leans away from the brunette in her arms and looks down.

"Santana? Can we talk about something?"

Santana lifts her beautiful face to meet Brittany's eyes, but not before she nuzzles into the blonde's neck places a chaste kiss to the skin underneath Brittany's jaw.

"Hmm?" she asks, smiling her beautiful smile.

Brittany tries to ignore the shot of pleasure that rakes over her body, from both Santana's kiss and the look in her eyes.

"About earlier…"

Santana immediately sits up a little more, a concerned expression on her face.

"Do you regret it? Brittany, I'm sorry. I should have just—"

Brittany cuts her off, entirely confused at how Santana could possibly think Brittany would ever regret one of the most amazing experiences of her life.

"Santana, no. Of course I don't regret it. It's just… well… I thought we were going to… you know..." God she sounds like an awkward teenager. Why can't she just say it? She thought they were gonna get it on. She hurries on, trying to cover up her embarrassment. "…and then you didn't want to… which is fine. I promise it's fine. I guess I'm just confused…"

Feeling herself starting to ramble, she just got to her question hoping she wouldn't sound like an idiot.

"Santana, are we dating?"

The woman's look of concern instantly shifts into a huge smile and she gives Brittany a gentle squeeze with the arm draped over the blonde's waist.

"Do you want to date me?"

Jesus, do fish swim?

"Santana, there is not a good enough synonym for the word yes to describe how badly I want to date you."

She feels her cheeks blush a little. Man that was cheesy. But she kinda doesn't care and it was kinda worth it to see Santana looking at her like that.

"Then I suppose I need to ask you out on a date," Santana whispers.

Brittany can feel the atmosphere around them starting to shift ever so slightly.

"We already had our first date though," Brittany reminds her, bringing the arm not underneath Santana around to rest it on the woman's hip.

Santana is already impossibly close, but she shifts slightly and somehow her body is pressing against Brittany's more. She can feel the heat through Santana's shorts on her leg.

"But I didn't ask you. I need to ask you," she says even more quietly. Her voice is becoming dangerously sexy.

Brittany just quirks an eyebrow at her, urging her to continue.

Santana brushes the hair out of Brittany's eyes and fixes her with a grin.

"Brittany," she says, her fingers tangling in Brittany's hair now, "would you like to go on a date with me?"

The blonde's heart is starting to go crazy again. Things this amazing don't just happen to regular people. Things like Santana Lopez don't just happen to regular people.

"I'd love to go on a date with you, Santana," she replies, looking into dark eyes.

Santana's grin turns into a smile and she closes the gap between them again, kissing Brittany's lips slowly and softly. She wonders if she could ever get tired of feeling Santana's lips on hers.

When she pulls back, she's still beaming.

"Friday? I'll pick you up."

Brittany smiles and nods. "Friday."

After a few more seconds, Brittany decides to ask another question. This time a lighter one.

"Can I kiss you anytime I want to?"

Santana chuckles and nods. "As often as possible is preferable."

Brittany takes that as the perfect excuse and leans in to kiss her again. She could get used to this. But there's so much the blonde still wants to know.

"You know I mean it when I say I don't mind waiting, right?"

Santana nods, beginning to trail her fingers over Brittany's stomach again.

"Then, if you don't mind me asking… why do you want to wait?"

She waits several seconds, and Santana is looking down at the hand on Brittany's abs. When she looks up, her expression looks slightly conflicted. Brittany starts again, the wait is killing her.

"Is it… is it me? I mean you turn me on like nobody ever has… obviously…" she trails off, thinking of her exploding orgasm from earlier. "…but do I… do I not turn you on enough?"

Santana just shakes her head, and her hand comes back up to Brittany's face.

"Please don't think that. Brittany, you turn me on more than anything else. You have no idea."

Without warning, Santana slowly lifts her body off Brittany's enough to slide her leg across both of the blonde's. And then she's straddling her. In Brittany's bed. Fuck it got really hot really fast. Brittany automatically lets her hands come to rest on Santana's thighs, more than pleased with their change in position. She looks up into Santana's eyes as she straddles Brittany's lap, and they have that mischievous glint in them again. With a small smirk she gently rolls her hips down, and her eyes close in pleasure. Brittany knows what Santana is doing and it turns her on so much. She should probably change her underwear before the night is over. The next thing she knows, Santana's lips are at her ear again.

"I'm so wet for you right now, Brittany."

And she rolls her hips down again, and lets out a soft whimper at Brittany's ear. And the blonde is pretty sure if Santana keeps it up, she's going to come again. What does this woman do to her body?

She leans back up to lock eyes with Brittany's again. And now the glint that is in her eyes is joined by a truly evil smirk on her lips.

Without a word, she uses one hand to lift her tank top just a few inches. Brittany can see a small sliver of perfect abs under the material, and her arousal heightens. She has no idea what Santana is doing but she likes it. With her other hand, she then begins to reach down into her shorts. Brittany's eyes automatically widen. Is this really happening? Is Santana really straddling her while she touches herself?

This should be illegal.

A few seconds pass, and she throws her head back in pleasure. Brittany watches with rapt attention, more than jealous. When she locks eyes with Brittany again, she gives a quiet command.

"Brittany, close your eyes."

The blonde doesn't even think about protesting or questioning the order. She just shuts her eyes and waits.

A few seconds pass, and then Brittany can feel Santana's finger, her _wet_ finger, barely grazing her bottom lip. Instinctively, she opens her mouth and takes in two of Santana's fingers. And she's tasting Santana for the first time. And she tastes so fucking good. Brittany brings her hands up to clasp Santana's wrist, keeping her hand there so she can taste the woman longer. She slides her tongue greedily over both of Santana's fingers, licking and sucking until there's nothing left. She lets out a low hum, and then Santana slides her fingers back out with a subtle pop.

When she opens her eyes again, Santana leans back down and nips at her ear before she whispers again.

"Believe me now? You make me wet like that every day, Brittany."

Dear lord. Never in her life has she wanted to take someone as badly as she wanted to take Santana in that moment. She tries desperately to remind herself that Santana doesn't want to have sex yet, but her mind is being reluctant to comply. All she can really think is that all that wetness is going to waste. Fuck Santana is hot.

She shakes her head, trying to clear it. And when she asks her question again, she aims it at the ceiling, thinking it'd probably come out more coherent that way.

"Okay, I believe you. And for the record, that was probably the hottest thing that's ever happened to me. But it doesn't answer my question of why you want to wait."

Risking a glance at Santana, she sees that conflicted look come back. The woman sighs once and then looks at Brittany with resignation.

"It's… been a while…"

Brittany remains silent. How is that possible? She looks at Santana to see a rather embarrassed look on the woman's face.

"When you say 'it's been a while,' what do you mean by 'it'? And can you define 'a while' for me?"

Not that Brittany really cared, but she found it odd that a person as hot as Santana hasn't been with anybody lately. Surely everyone that laid eyes on her wanted her.

"Look, all this," Santana says, using her hands to indicate herself and Brittany, "hasn't happened for me in a long time. Kissing, dating, cuddling next to someone… having sex… I just… I want it to be right."

Emotion floods through Brittany and she's sure. She loves the woman on top of her.

"It will be," she says simply.

Santana places another sweet kiss to her lips and then just lays there on top of her. So comfortable.

"Why me?" Brittany asks quietly. What did she do to deserve this little moment of perfection? What made her special enough that Santana wanted to do all this with her?

Santana yawns into Brittany's neck and then answers sleepily, "I've always been afraid of heights, you know. No idea why, I just don't like it. But you, you made it less scary. Just like everything else. Brittany, you make everything less scary."

Brittany smiles and then stifles her own yawn before encircling Santana in her arms, and they lay there by the light of the TV.

"I'm glad," Brittany whispers quietly.

Santana continues to lay on top of Brittany in silence. And Brittany traces the words "I love you" across Santana's back.

* * *

The following morning, the blonde wakes up in the most wonderful of positions. She's lying on her side, and there's a tiny brunette lying in her arms asleep in front of her. She can smell Santana's hair, feel her chest rising and falling steadily under her hand that's resting there. She slowly leans in so she doesn't wake the sleeping beauty, and presses a light kiss to the back of Santana's neck. She can't believe this is real life. She continues placing feather light kisses across the back of her neck, her shoulders…

Seemingly responding to Brittany's kisses subconsciously, Santana pulls Brittany's hand in closer to her chest. The blonde can feel the tops of Santana's breasts grazing her fingertips with every inhale, as well as something small and hard at the base of her hand.

With a silent gasp, Brittany realizes Santana must have taken her bra off in the middle of the night, and her hardened nipple is now directly under her palm. Fighting every cell in her body to explore this new revelation, she slowly lifts her arm and starts to retract it. There's no way she can keep her hand there with this new information.

She manages to move only a few inches before a sleepy hum escapes Santana's lips and the woman is pulling her arm back again.

"Mmm… where are you going?" asks Santana without opening her eyes. Her voice is husky from sleep and she's the most adorable thing Brittany's ever seen.

Brittany makes a fist with her hand so she doesn't just start copping a feel.

"You're not wearing a bra," she says flatly, as if the answer to her dilemma is obvious.

Santana hums again and scoots closer into Brittany.

"I don't know where that is."

She still hasn't opened her eyes but there's a playful grin on her lips.

Brittany smiles and places one more kiss to Santana's shoulder.

"If you don't want me to start exploring this braless territory, it's across the bed where I can't reach you."

Santana takes a deep breath, enough to put her breast fully into Brittany's palm for a split second. When she exhales she rolls over and away to finally look at the blonde.

"If you insist."

"Tease," Brittany says, looking over at her.

"Did you sleep well?" Santana asks casually, ignoring Brittany's light chiding.

"Didn't wake up once. You?"

"I sleep the best when I'm here," she says simply.

Brittany bites back her question of why Santana sleeps so badly. She figures she'll find out when Santana wants to talk about it. Instead, she goes for the next most obvious question.

"Breakfast?"

Santana smiles again and nods.

"Let's go."

Brittany hops out of bed happily. Life is good.

* * *

"Brittany, that was so good," says the brunette as she sets her fork down and looks over contently.

They'd just finished a hearty breakfast of turkey bacon and egg whites, and Brittany was thinking about how amazing it was to wake up to Santana, and then to have breakfast with her. This was how Sunday mornings were supposed to be.

"I'm glad you liked it. Did you get enough?"

She nods and stands up to take their plates to the sink. It was so cute how she always insisted on washing them.

When they were done, Santana dried her hands with a towel and looks at Brittany from the across the counter.

"What now?" the blonde asks happily.

"Now," Santana says, placing the towel on the counter, "I'm going to steal some of your mouthwash, so I can kiss you goodbye."

Brittany can't stop the pout from tugging on her lips.

"You don't have to go so quickly," she says, aiming sad blue eyes at the woman across from her.

Santana smiles. She knows what Brittany is doing.

"As much as I love your blue-eyed pout, I really do have to go… I wouldn't if I didn't have to. One of the clients I'm seeing tomorrow morning is a handful and I need to prepare his case a little more," she said as she furrowed her eyebrows thinking about it. She's adorable.

"Plus," she added, looking again at Brittany with a grin, "It's kind of nice to know you'll be missing me."

Brittany's heart thumps a few wild beats after Santana's words. She wants Brittany to miss her.

Well, no problem.

"That's awfully presumptuous of you," Brittany says playfully.

Santana feigns shock at Brittany's words.

"You mean you _won't_ miss me?" she says, holding her hand dramatically over her heart.

The blonde smiles at her antics.

"Well, I guess I'll miss you. A little. And will you miss me?" Brittany asks, returning Santana's grin.

The brunette doesn't even pause before giving her response.

"Yes. I've gotten really good at missing you, Brittany."

The smile widens on the blonde's lips. She's okay with that.

A few minutes later, they're both standing in front of Brittany's bathroom sink. Brittany is brushing her teeth, and staring at Santana in the mirror. Santana stares back as she swishes some mouthwash. It was such a mundane thing to do.

It was such a couple's thing to do. And Brittany falls in love a little bit more.

At the front door, Santana turns around to face Brittany.

If the blonde is being honest with herself, she's kind of been both dreading and looking forward to this moment.

She doesn't want Santana to leave. But she also really wants to kiss her.

First world problems.

"Have a good day, Ms. Pierce," she says lowly. Brittany can smell the minty flavor from the mouthwash. Delicious.

"You too, Ms. Lopez." She takes a step forward and pulls Santana into her arms. She thinks they should probably always be in this position.

"I'll miss you," Santana says quietly, lightly scratching down Brittany's back with her nails. How does she know how to make everything feel so good?

"I'll miss you," Brittany replies, savoring these last few seconds with the woman of her dreams.

Santana pulls back and kisses her softly, her hands coming up to hold Brittany's cheeks. Half of Brittany just melts right there, loving how sweet Santana is being. The other half really just wants to push her against the door and see what happens. That's how it always is with Santana.

When Santana breaks the kiss, she's smiling again.

"Until tomorrow, Ms. Pierce," she says as she opens the door.

"Until tomorrow," Brittany repeats, dazed. And she watches her love as she walks away.

* * *

The rest of Sunday is spent lounging around. Brittany watches a little TV, takes a long bath, chats with her friend Christine for a while on the phone. Nothing is taking away from her high.

She thinks back to when she first met Santana. How cold and distant she seemed then. Sure, there were still a few secrets Brittany had yet to work out, but it thrilled her to know she was making cracks in Santana's walls. Seemingly large ones.

Santana had shut people out for so long, had denied herself the pleasure of being with other people for so long… and now it seems she is willing to try again with Brittany. That perfect creature chose Brittany.

That part was still hard to comprehend.

When the evening started to draw to a close, Brittany picked herself up off the couch and made her way back to her bedroom. After brushing her teeth again and throwing on some fresh pajamas, she crawled in bed and lay on her back, staring at the ceiling.

She wished she was sharing the bed with Santana again. She loved wrapping the tiny brunette up in her arms.

Deciding the day wouldn't be complete without a little bit of reading, she opens the nightstand drawer and pulls out the journal. When she opens it to the next unread entry, she realizes she is almost halfway through its pages. And she knows she started writing in it around just past halfway. So either Maggie finishes telling the story or she just stopped writing before ever getting to an ending.

Brittany really hopes it isn't the latter; she wants to know what happened to these two strangers whose story captivated her.

She supposes there's no better way to find out and begins to read. According to the date, Maggie has been at college for about a month now.

_October 1, 1941_

_Dear diary,_

_Such a different world here. I love deciding when to eat, and what I want. I love that I can make decisions without telling anyone about them first._

_Classes are tough, but I'm enjoying them, and I've made some new friends quickly._

_As much as I love being here, I'm counting down the days to Thanksgiving._

_I miss her. I need to see her face. I need to hold her._

_She writes all the time, and that makes it easier. She's enjoying college as well, and has made friends. I'm happy for her (although I have to admit I'm a little jealous of her roommate—I wish it was me)._

_Still, it's comforting to know I'll see her next month. I guess I'll just have to hold on until then._

_Anyway, I have to go. My friends want me to meet them for dinner._

_Love always,_

_Maggie_

Brittany freaking loved this story. The way Maggie wrote about Grace was so endearing. She thinks they were probably really cute together. She flips the page and reads on.

_October 31, 1941_

_Dear diary,_

_I'm always so happy to get her letters. Just to see her handwriting and know she took the time to write it makes me feel special._

_I guess I shouldn't have really been surprised when she told me she was going on a date. She told me it means absolutely nothing, and that she's only doing it to please her parents._

_Which I guess I understand, considering I did the same thing with Benjamin. Still, I don't like it._

_His name is Thomas. How stupid. And he's in the military, which according to her parents makes him a hero._

_Okay maybe that part is true._

_According to her letter, they are going on their date tonight. I hope he doesn't try to kiss her._

_Still, I trust her. And when he's walking her to the door she'll look up at the stars—since she always does that. And she'll think of me and how they're the same stars I'm looking at too._

_That's just what we do._

_Twenty days until Thanksgiving._

_Love,_

_Maggie_

Brittany smiled at the page. Get it Maggie. She kind of really liked her with an attitude. Feeling her eyelids start to feel heavier, she decided to read just one more entry. It was a short one, and very very worth it.

_November 20, 1941_

_Thanksgiving dinner was good. Seeing her afterward was perfect._

_She still looks, sounds, and feels just as wonderful as always. Maybe even better._

_Love always,_

_Maggie_

Brittany closed the journal and put it back on the nightstand. She would save the ending for another day.

After checking her phone to make sure the alarm was set, she quickly typed out a text message to Santana.

**Brittany: goodnight santana. sweet dreams.**

In true Santana form, Brittany only had to wait a few seconds for the woman's response.

**Santana Lopez: goodnight sweet girl. see you tomorrow :)**

Brittany smiled at the screen. She didn't know why Santana picked her. She didn't know what made her so special to the brunette.

Maggie and Grace had probably one of the cutest love stories ever.

But Brittany and Santana? Theirs was better.

* * *

**thank you ALL so much for all your awesome reviews, and favorite-ing and following this story.**

**as i'm sure you can tell, Maggie's story and the journal's involvement in this story will soon be coming to a close. thank you for sticking with me through it (i know it's been a little different). Rest assured though, it is relevant and important to the brittana storyline, which is not coming to a close any time soon :)**

**lastly, as a fun fact (in case anybody cares)... 1941 was the last year thanksgiving was ever not on the fourth thursday of november. in case you were wondering why it was so early.**

**thanks for reading, i hope you liked it! leave comments as always :)**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: thank you all for waiting patiently (or not so patiently) for this update! i tried to make it longer to make up for the wait. i hope you like it and thank you all as always for the kind reviews, follows, and favorites :)**

* * *

"Good morning, Ms. Lopez," Brittany said playfully from Santana's office door. She used to hate Mondays. But this morning, a smile was pulling at her lips before she was really even fully awake. And now here she is, looking at magnificence incarnate. Her heart had begun to beat erratically ever since she set foot in the building. Looking at Santana, all it needed now was to sprout wings and it would take off from her body.

"Good morning, Ms. Pierce," Santana replied lowly, playing along. She was giving Brittany her favorite smirk.

The blonde walked further into the office, stopping in front of Santana's desk. She wanted to be closer.

"Did you have a good weekend?" Brittany asked, knowing what Santana would think of.

If the glint in her eyes was anything to go off by, she was thinking of Brittany's lips on hers. Brittany's body coming undone beneath her touch. Brittany's tongue swirling around her fingers.

The blonde was already getting wet from their silent exchange. She wondered if Santana was.

"I did, in fact," Santana answered, still in that low voice Brittany loved so much.

She'd been here a whole thirty seconds and already she was being driven insane. Only this woman had that kind of power. She made her way around the desk slowly, letting her index finger drag along the smooth wood surface of the desk. Finally stopping in front of Santana, she leaned down and placed her hands on either of Santana's chair armrests. It felt good to trap the woman beneath her.

"I really want to kiss you, Ms. Lopez," she whispered, giving a smirk of her own and looking into those dark eyes.

Santana's eyes automatically fell to Brittany's lips, and the blonde could see her fists balling in her lap.

"You know we can't do that here. What if someone were to catch us?"

Brittany didn't want to get caught. She liked having a job way too much for that. But she had to admit the idea was kind of thrilling all the same. But Santana had given her answer while still looking at Brittany's lips and her conviction didn't sound all that strong.

"Nobody ever comes up here but your clients, and you don't have a meeting for a while…" she whispered, leaning a few more inches closer. She saw Santana gulp, and it spurred on her desire even more.

"We still shouldn't…" she continued, her voice trailing off as she started to drag her hands over Brittany's forearms. The blonde knew she'd already won.

"Are you saying you'd stop me if I tried to kiss you right now?"

Brittany willed herself to remain composed. It was really getting hard to concentrate with Santana's hands on her.

"I'm… not sure?" Santana said, her brows knitting together like she genuinely didn't know the answer. Brittany absolutely adored it.

"One way to find out…" Brittany said, leaning further in. Santana's hands stopped moving on her arms and came to rest on both of her wrists. She prayed she'd find a way to be able to stop.

After a second or two of hesitation, during which Santana definitely did _not_ stop her, Brittany closed the last remaining inches between them. The woman's lips were as perfect as always, and they moved against Brittany's in a way she was coming to recognize and yet still feel butterflies from. She gripped the armrests hard, resisting the massive temptation to comb her fingers through dark locks.

Her grip though, it seemed, had absolutely no control over her tongue, which apparently had developed a mind of its own. The second it reached Santana's bottom lip the woman was humming into Brittany's mouth, immediately granting entrance. Fuck this was more difficult than Brittany had imagined it would be. She knew she needed to stop. She gave herself approximately six more seconds before she was ripping the button down right off Santana's perfect body. Let somebody discover them like this. Let somebody see that this perfect creature wanted only her.

No. She needed to stop. It wasn't just her job at risk. It was Santana's too. And Santana was too great of an attorney to jeopardize that.

Grazing the woman's lips one last time, Brittany withdrew. Both girls were slightly out of breath, and Brittany could see Santana's chest rising and falling more rapidly than usual through the top couple of open buttons on her shirt. My god she was beautiful.

"Good morning," Brittany panted, leaning away a bit more in an effort to reduce her temptation. It didn't really help.

"You said that already," Santana replied, her hands still resting on Brittany's wrists. Brittany smiled down at her.

"Yes, well… it's still true. Maybe even more so now than before."

And now Santana was smiling back at her. "Fair enough."

Slipping her hands out from under the brunette's, Brittany gave her a quick wink before excusing herself to go answer the voicemails waiting on her.

When she was done, she reentered the office to fill in Santana on today's schedule.

"Only two appointments today, both after lunch. But two clients have requested phone consultations. I have their names and contact information here," Brittany said efficiently. She placed her notes on Santana's desk in front of her. It was sort of odd, being so professional now when just five minutes ago she'd had her tongue in the woman's mouth. It was also kind of thrilling. She was the girl who worked for Santana Lopez. She was also the girl who was kind of sort of dating Santana Lopez. It was great.

"Thank you, Ms. Pierce," Santana said around another smirk. Brittany was pretty sure she was thinking the exact same thing.

* * *

Much of the morning passed quietly. Santana paced her office with her books and notes, occasionally throwing Brittany a cute little smile but mostly just getting work done. And Brittany was happy to watch her in between answering the occasional phone call and running inter-office errands. That is, it was quiet until about thirty minutes before she was supposed to take her lunch, at which point she got the most amusing phone call she'd ever gotten while at work.

At about 11:30, Brittany was lazily watching Santana make notes at her desk when her phone began to ring. She answered it promptly and professionally.

"Brittany Pierce, receptionist to Santana Lopez," she said into the receiver. The response she got was probably the last thing she ever expected to hear.

"I GOT ROBBED BY A HOOKER!"

Brittany fumbled with the phone, and had the strangest sensation to cough mixed with the desire to laugh. The voice coming through the phone undoubtedly belonged to a very distraught man.

Adjusting her grip, she gave her best shot at sounding calm.

"Um, sir? Can I help you?"

The voice was still shouting when he replied.

"YES! I NEED SANTANA LOPEZ. A HOOKER ROBBED MY ASS!"

Brittany quickly placed her free hand over the receiver and pursed her lips in an effort to stifle her laughter.

She gave herself a second to compose herself, again, and tried once more.

"Sir? You've been robbed? Have you contacted the police?"

"PLEASE I JUST NEED SANTANA LOPEZ."

Feeling like she might not get anywhere with the man on her own, she asked him to hold and placed the phone back down. Walking into the office, she cleared her throat.

"Um, Santana… there appears to be a very distraught gentleman on the phone for you. He didn't give me his name. He just insisted that he wanted to speak with you."

Santana set her pen down in the crease of her book and looked up with a confused expression.

"What is the reason for the call?"

Brittany suppressed another grin before she answered.

"Um… you may just want to let him explain it…"

She could definitely feel the corners of her mouth starting to twitch. Santana narrowed her eyes at the blonde but didn't question her.

"It's line two," Brittany said, folding her arms and leaning against the door frame. She wanted to hear this. Santana closed her book and picked up her phone, pressing the button for the correct line.

"This is Santana Lopez," she said quickly. After about two seconds her eyes widened and her jaw dropped ever so slightly.

"I'm sorry sir, could you repeat that?" she asked disbelievingly. Clearly he'd told her the same thing he'd told Brittany. A few more seconds passed, and Santana's face became more and more bewildered with each passing moment.

"You didn't realize it?"

More confusion on Santana's face. And then suddenly she cocked her head to the side, like she heard the most confusing thing yet.

"Her what? And she did what with it?"

Man Brittany couldn't wait to hear the story.

After a couple more seconds, the confused look on Santana's face finally turned into the grin Brittany had been trying to suppress.

"Sir, what you need to do first is contact the local police. They are the ones who will be of the most help to you now. After they have done all they can do, then perhaps there is a case here. But I can't help you until the police have done their part."

About three more seconds pass, and then Santana looked into the receiver as if surprised by it, then hung up. Closing her eyes, she shook her head like she was trying to shake out whatever she just heard.

"A little warning would be great next time, you know," Santana said from underneath her hands covering her face. Brittany could tell she was being playful.

"Your facial expression was worth it. What'd he say?"

Santana peeked between her fingers and fixed Brittany with a very skeptical look.

"What'd he tell you before you transferred him?"

Without missing a beat, Brittany responded.

"He very emphatically told me he got robbed by a hooker," she said very matter of factly.

"Yes, well… apparently he didn't know she was a hooker. She led him to a hotel room, handcuffed him to the bed, and then took all his stuff. He was discovered naked by the hotel maid. I told him to call the police."

Santana said all this very quickly, and if Brittany didn't know any better she sounded a little embarrassed.

"Why'd he call you? He sounded like maybe he knew you, the way he was asking for you," Brittany asked, still a little confused by the whole thing. A small smile tugged the corners of Santana's lips before she answered.

"Apparently the hotel front lobby lent him a phone book after he'd gotten some clothes on. I dunno why he picked my name, must have just been the first one he landed on."

Brittany cracked a smile too. That was so embarrassing. She continued with another question. The one she really wanted to know the answer to.

"He said one more thing. You asked him what she did with… something."

"Oh… that was nothing."

Yes, Santana was definitely getting embarrassed. Brittany kind of really liked it.

"Oh, come on Santana. What'd he say?"

She opened her book back up and started fiddling with her pen.

"He uh… he said she enticed him… with her magic hoo-ha."

Before today she would have sworn it was impossible for Santana to blush. But she was definitely blushing right now.

"Her magic what?" Brittany asked, more than aware of what Santana meant.

Santana started doodling something in her notes.

"You know what I mean…"

Brittany's smile was growing wider.

"Did he actually call it a hoo-ha?"

Santana looked up at her, catching on that Brittany was playing with her.

"That wasn't his particular word choice…"

"Ahh, so hoo-ha is your personal preference then?"

Brittany was really enjoying this conversation.

"Stop saying it!" Santana replied quickly, still blushing wildly.

Brittany pushed herself off the door frame and went over to Santana's chair. Bending over quickly, she gave Santana a chaste kiss to her lips and informed her she was going to lunch. But before she stood up again, she leaned into the woman's ear to whisper one more thing.

"Hoo-ha."

* * *

The rest of the afternoon passed without nearly as much fun. Santana's other clients had problems that were downright boring compared to being handcuffed naked and then subsequently robbed by unbeknownst prostitute whose nether parts had questionable magical capabilities.

But Brittany was happy to spend the time with her either way.

When it was finally five o'clock and time for Brittany to leave, she picked up her purse and keys and made her way into the office to say goodbye to Santana. She didn't get two feet over the threshold when Santana addressed her.

"Could you shut the door, please?"

Her voice sounded nonchalant. But Brittany's heart was beating as if she'd just told her to start stripping. Reaching behind her, she quietly shut the office door.

"And could you hit the lights?" Still, her voice was so neutral she could be asking what Brittany ate for lunch. But the blonde could feel the anticipation of whatever Santana had planned start to course all over her body.

Her boss got up from her chair and indicated that Brittany should sit there instead. Feeling slightly confused, Brittany walked forward slowly, keeping eye contact with Santana as she took her boss's chair. As soon as she was seated, Santana's air of indifference shifted. The smirk was back in place and Brittany couldn't wait for what it meant.

Taking one step towards her, Santana swung one leg over Brittany's lap and sat down. She was straddling her again. Her arms came to rest over Brittany's shoulders and the blonde felt thin fingers begin to tangle through the back of her hair. She hoped this was the beginning of a routine.

Santana looked up at the extinguished lights overhead, and looked back down with a triumphant smile.

"If anybody comes, they'll think we're both gone." Her eyes dropped once more to Brittany's lips. "That is, if you can be quiet."

Jesus lord in heaven.

Whatever look was on Brittany's face must have amused Santana, because as she leaned in to kiss her, her lips were set with a very pleased expression. And here they were again, making out like teenagers. In a place you really shouldn't be making out in. Brittany's level of concern for that fact dropped with every passing second. She let her hands trail over Santana's back, pulling her in closer. It didn't take long to realize how very opportune her position was. While still kissing Santana's lips, she brought her hands to Santana's front, finding the first closed button on the woman's shirt and unbuttoning down as quickly as possible. When she thought she'd had enough undone, she broke the kiss and let her eyes fall to the sight directly in front of her.

Yes, it was confirmed. Santana Lopez was still perfect.

Brittany drank in the sight of Santana in her light blue bra, her abs contracted with keeping herself upright. Brittany wanted to touch everything she could see. She looked up once more into dark eyes. Santana gave her a silent okay to continue. Bringing her hands up slowly, she placed each of them under the material covering Santana's shoulders and pushed back, revealing more beautifully smooth skin. Leaning in, she began placing slow kisses across Santana's chest, over the swell of her breasts, in the valley between them. She could feel Santana shudder when she kissed her in certain places, and figured that must be where she liked it the most. She made sure to keep going back.

While she was exploring Santana's body with her lips, Santana spurred her on with her voice.

"I've wanted to do this all day."

God Brittany loved it when her voice went all husky. The blonde pulled back to look into her eyes. Santana looked very mischievous indeed, sitting in her lap with her shirt half off.

"You know," she continued, as she now leaned down to start kissing Brittany's neck and jaw, "I couldn't help but think today…" More kisses down her neck. "That guy… who was handcuffed naked…" She lightly sucked on Brittany's pulse point. And the blonde was feeling more and more turned on by the second. "Well… I think I'd kinda really like to handcuff you."

Dear god where are the cuffs?

Struggling to find her voice, Brittany made a large effort to force out words.

"I think I'd kinda really like you to handcuff me."

Santana smiled and then bit down gently on Brittany's neck, and now the spontaneous combustion feeling was coming back. She lightly ran her tongue over the spot, soothing the slight ache that felt so good.

"I promise not to rob you afterward though…"

Despite her level of arousal, Brittany giggled anyway. This is how it was supposed to be with someone.

Beginning to miss Santana's lips again, she placed her hands on Santana's cheeks and kissed her gently. She wished she could kiss everywhere all at once. Santana sighed contentedly when Brittany placed a final sweet kiss to her lips.

"You're perfect, do you know that?" Brittany whispered, not quite sure why she was being so forthcoming.

Santana gave a small laugh before she responded.

"You're crazy."

It was the second time she'd said these words to Brittany. Maybe Brittany was crazy. But you know what? She didn't care one bit.

* * *

She arrived home about thirty minutes later, after another very short makeout sesh and saying goodbye to Santana. She kind of wished Santana would've just come home with her so they could continue… but really she knew it was a good thing. They were trying to wait, and this exact moment was not the ideal time to be alone with her with a bed, or couch, or floor within a fifteen foot ratio and no one around to catch them.

So Brittany distracted herself with TV and dinner. It wasn't a foolproof distraction, and her thoughts often wandered back to her favorite brunette, but it was enough to pass the time.

She'd just finished eating dinner when her phone began to ring from the coffee table. She danced her way over to it, "Love Somebody" by Maroon 5 really was a great ringtone. She mentally told herself not to hope it was Santana, so she was only mildly disappointed and mildly guilty when she saw that it was her mom.

"Helloooooooo?" she answered goofily. Man, a little first base with Santana went a long way for her mood.

"Hey Britt," said her mother casually. She knew Brittany was a goofy one.

"Hey mom, what's up?" She was still kinda dancing on the spot even though the music had stopped.

"Your father and I just finished having dinner, and he was wondering when he needed to be at the airport on Friday."

Brittany stopped dancing and pinched her eyes closed. Shit. She'd completely forgotten she was going home this weekend for her dad's birthday. She'd bought her plane ticket months ago. And then Santana happened.

And then her spirits plummeted even more. Her date with Santana was on Friday. Double shit.

"Brittany?" asked her mother's voice, obviously wondering why she hadn't responded yet.

Gathering herself, she opened her eyes are made her way back to her bedroom.

"Sorry mom, I need to find my ticket to check the time."

She made her way to the nightstand, letting her eyes fall for a brief moment on Maggie's journal before opening the drawer and rooting around for the print out of her departure and arrival times. Finally finding it, she held the phone to her ear with her shoulder and found what she was looking for.

"It says my plane leaves here at 7:17 that evening, and arrives there at 9:20."

Her parents lived in the mountains of northern North Carolina. It was odd that such a short plane ride could get her to a totally different world.

"Your father will be there, then," her mother said happily. "We can't wait to see you Britt, and hear all about New York."

Brittany smiled into the phone. "Mom, I've been here several years now. You've heard about New York at least a hundred times."

She heard her mother sigh. "Yes, well… it's always changing, isn't it?"

Brittany thought about Santana and how big of a change that had been. "Yeah, I guess it is."

"See? Now, I'll see you Friday night. Love you, Britt."

"Love you too, mom."

She heard her mom fiddling with the buttons on the phone and something about "damn touch screens" before the call disconnected. She laughed. Her parents were great.

She really was looking forward to seeing them. It had been an unusually long time since she had. But she also really didn't want to break her date with Santana. She supposed in the end there was really no way out of it. She threw herself onto her bed dramatically.

Picking her phone back up, she typed out a text to Santana.

**Brittany: santana, i'm so sorry. i just realized i'm going home this weekend for my dad's birthday. i'm not going to be able to go on our date.**

Brittany waited a few moments, hoping Santana wouldn't be too disappointed. Her response came quickly as usual.

**Santana Lopez: all accepted dates are nonnegotiable. failure to comply will result in a breach of contract.**

Brittany stared down at the screen. Santana made it too easy to love her. She decided to play along.

**Brittany: plea bargain?**

Another few seconds pass.

**Santana Lopez: the court will hear your request.**

Lawyer Santana was so hot. Brittany gave it her best shot at legal lingo.

**Brittany: should the court decide to accept another date to have the aforementioned date, then the defendant (me) will agree to repay the prosecutor (you) generously at a later time.**

There. She was pretty proud of that.

She opened Santana's response quickly when she received it.

**Santana Lopez: the court accepts your plea, with the condition that "repayment" be more concretely defined at a later time.**

Another couple seconds pass and she got another text before she could reply to the first one.

**Santana Lopez: thursday night?**

Brittany smiled again.

**Brittany: thursday night.**

Brittany tossed her phone to the other side of the bed. It was almost scary how happy Santana made her.

She looked over again to see Maggie's journal lying there. She thought about continuing the last bit of the story, but decided against it. It'd be something to take up her time on the plane Friday. As it was still relatively early, she spent the rest of her evening tidying up her apartment, watching TV, and then taking a bath before going to bed. As far as Mondays go, well, this had been a good one.

* * *

Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday had gone by rather quickly. Brittany supposed it was all the stolen kisses and covert touches from Santana that was making the time fly. Either way, before she knew it, five o'clock had rolled around again and it was time for her to leave and go get ready for their date.

Leaning against Santana's door frame again, she posed her question one more time.

"Are you sure you don't want to tell me what we're doing?"

Santana looked up at her and smirked. The same response Brittany had gotten every other time she'd asked this question.

"I'm sure," she said happily.

Brittany pouted. She wanted to know so badly.

"Can I at least get a hint?"

Santana's smirk grew into a full-fledged smile at these words.

"If I give you a hint, can you make it the remaining two hours until I pick you up?"

Brittany nodded enthusiastically. Santana took a deep breath and looked at her exasperatedly.

"It's something I've done before, and something I've never done before."

Brittany pouted again.

"That's not a hint, you're just teasing me!"

The brunette laughed at her pouting and shrugged.

"My mistake. Now, I'll see you at seven."

Brittany huffed at her from the door, but inevitably smiled at her before turning around and leaving. She couldn't even be pretend-mad at Santana.

* * *

It was five minutes to seven, and Brittany was checking her reflection in her bedroom mirror. She was feeling particularly pleased with herself tonight. Her light blue dress hugged her ribs but flowed out around her waist and swirled around her knees. The sheer sleeves of the dress stopped just above her elbows and her hair was falling in loose curls around her face. Her mother would say she looked like a lady. She thought just maybe she looked good enough to go out on a date with Santana Lopez.

At exactly seven o'clock, she heard a light knock at her door. Her heart started beating erratically again in anticipation as she walked towards it. And when she opened it, the sight of Santana standing there once again almost made her lose her breath. She was in a black dress. A _tight_ black dress. It hugged her body in the most perfect way imaginable. The high heeled pumps on her feet were pure white. Her hair was falling in those thick curls, and the look on her face made Brittany think Santana was proud to be taking her out. She looked absolutely amazing.

"Hello, again," she said huskily. "You look wonderful."

Reminding herself that the kiss is supposed to come at the _end_ of the date, Brittany just smiled and grabbed her bag.

As they were about to emerge onto the street, Brittany finally found her voice again and looked over at the amazing woman with her tonight.

"You look wonderful too, you know." Well, that was an understatement.

Santana smiled back and opened the door for Brittany. The blonde automatically looked around for Santana's car but nothing was on the street except for a horse and carriage. Brittany stopped herself from frowning at it. She didn't exactly feel disappointed… but a horse and carriage? Somehow she had not expected that from Santana.

Just as she was about to look over at the brunette, the driver pulled away, revealing Santana's black Audi sitting behind it.

"You didn't really think that's what I had planned, did you?" Santana asked playfully, beginning to walk towards the car.

"Did you plan for that carriage to be sitting there?" Brittany asked incredulously.

Santana laughed before she responded.

"I didn't actually, but the look on your face was priceless. I'm glad it was there."

Brittany laughed along with her, feeling a little sheepish. After getting into Santana's car, she buckled her seatbelt and looked over at the beautiful woman across from her.

"So where to now?"

Santana turned the keys in the ignition and the engine came to life with a soft purr. It really was a nice car.

"Are you hungry?"

"Absolutely."

They made their way through the streets of New York. It truly was a beautiful night for a date. It was really starting to warm up too with spring coming. After a very short drive, Santana pulled up to a restaurant Brittany had never heard of before. There didn't seem to be many people going in or coming out, but there was a valet and after getting out, Santana casually handed her key to the man at the entrance.

As they walked through the restaurant, led by a maitre d' in a starched white shirt, Santana turned looked over at Brittany and whispered quietly.

"I've never eaten inside before. I've never had anyone to eat with. I hope you like it."

Brittany felt her heart swell at Santana's words. She was pretty sure she'd like anything the woman wanted to share with her.

"Thank you for bringing me here, for taking me out tonight."

"It's my pleasure, ma'am," Santana said with a fake southern accent. Again, adorable.

After they were seated, Brittany began perusing the menu that was given to her. Everything looked amazing.

"What should I get?" she asked from over the top of it. Santana looked up from her own menu and smiled.

"They have this really good lemon rosemary chicken. It isn't unlike what you made for me, if you wanted something like that."

Brittany snapped shut her menu. "Sold."

Santana chuckled.

A few minutes later, they placed their orders. As the waiter was walking away, Santana fixed Brittany with her famous smirk once again.

"So…" she said, as if leading into a new topic.

"So…" Brittany replied, indicating she should continue.

The brunette just smiled wider.

"About this 'repayment' you're supposed to be offering later…"

Brittany smiled… she knew this was coming.

"Yes?" she replied lightheartedly.

"I was just wondering what form it would come in," she said as she traced a finger around the base of her wine glass.

Brittany reached over and placed her hand over Santana's. It felt good not to hide it.

"I'm going to take you out, of course. You deserve to be taken out, too."

Santana stroked her thumb once across Brittany's hand.

"You want to take me out?"

Brittany fixed her with clear blue eyes.

"Santana, there's a lot of things I wanna do with you. But yes, that's one of them."

The brunette just smiled and gave a small nod, accepting Brittany's answer.

They talked about other things until their food came. Brittany's trip back home, what Santana's plans were for the weekend. It felt so normal to talk to Santana about just anything.

When dinner arrived though, the chatting became less frequent. The lemon rosemary chicken was probably the best she'd ever had. When she'd finished, she placed her fork down and looked over at Santana, who was also finishing.

"Santana, that was so good."

"I'm glad you enjoyed it."

When the check came, Brittany looked down at the little leather folder, about to offer to pay for her half.

"Don't even think about it," Santana said before snatching it up. "This is a date, remember?"

Hmm. Maybe she could read thoughts.

"Fine, fine," Brittany replied, conceding.

A few minutes later, they were back in Santana's car, heading in a new direction.

"And so was that the thing you've never done before?" Brittany asked, wondering where their next destination was.

"Um, not technically. I've had their food before, so it counts as the thing I have done. What we're doing now is completely new to me."

Brittany wasn't entirely sure but it seemed as if Santana was gripping the steering wheel a little harder.

After several more minutes of quiet driving, Santana pulled her car over and parked on the curb of a very busy street.

"Do you mind walking with me?"

Brittany looked over at her, surprised. As if there was a possibility of minding taking a walk with Santana.

Once out on the street, Brittany followed Santana's lead. She still had no idea where they were going, but she didn't care. When Santana stepped closer to her and intertwined their fingers, she wouldn't have cared even if they didn't have a destination. She could walk hand in hand with Santana through the streets of New York and it'd be the perfect date.

After a few minutes of walking, the woman directed them into a small coffee shop.

"This isn't our final stop," she said with a smile before she ordered two coffees for them both. A to go order.

Intrigued, Brittany waited for their coffees and wondered where on earth Santana could be taking them. When they left, Santana continued walking in the same direction, away from her car. The coffee cup in Brittany's hand felt warm against her palm. The afternoons were really starting to feel pleasant, but the temperature was still a bit chilly once the sun went down. She figured that's why Santana wanted to stop.

After a few more minutes of walking, Santana stopped in front of a very familiar building. But one Brittany hardly ever went into.

"We're here," she said staring up at it. She looked for a few seconds but then tore her eyes away to look at Brittany. She had a look of anticipation in her eyes that probably matched Brittany's. The blonde looked back at the building.

"Rockefeller Center?"

Santana nodded. "The GE Building to be more specific."

Brittany's confusion was mounting.

"But, don't they like, produce TV shows or something here?"

Santana nodded again and began to cross the street, taking Brittany's hand for a second time.

"That's not all this building is good for," Santana said cryptically.

Once inside, Santana pulled out two pieces of paper that looked suspiciously like tickets and handed them over to a gentleman behind a tall counter. She then led the way to the elevators. As the metal doors were shutting, she hit the button for as high as you could go. Now Brittany was definitely intrigued.

"You know, I think it might work out better tonight. It'll be less crowded."

Brittany smiled over at her. "What will be?"

Santana just smirked back. "You'll see."

A minute or two later, the elevator dinged, signally they'd reached their stop. When the doors reopened, Brittany realized they were in the middle of a hallway. There were more people here, but she still didn't know what was going on. Santana just gave her another smile and tugged on her hand.

"Come on," she said quietly.

Leading the way down the hall, Santana reached a door and put her hand on the handle. She seemed to be gripping it like she had been gripping the steering wheel.

"Are you ready?" she asked, the glint back in her eyes.

"Of course," the blonde replied, not knowing what she was ready for. With that, Santana pushed the door open and led Brittany through it. And then Brittany really did lose her breath.

They were staring at New York City, alive and spreading out beneath them in a beautiful labyrinth of color and light. She could see everything. The Empire State Building, the bay. It was all beautiful. She walked right up to the edge of the glass and looked out, taking in the wondrous sight of the city she loved. She stared out for a few seconds before she became aware of Santana's grip on her hand, which was now a little more firm.

"Santana?" Brittany asked, looking from their intertwined fingers to Santana's face. The breeze from being so high up was lightly swirling Santana's curls around her face. God she was so perfect it really almost hurt.

The brunette ripped her eyes off the city and looked at Brittany. The blonde could definitely see a little of the fear she knew Santana was feeling, but she could also see the same appreciation for such a spectacular view.

"I thought you might like this…" Santana said quietly. "And I'd never done it before, obviously… but I thought… maybe with you, it wouldn't be so bad."

Love swelled inside Brittany. Santana had wanted to do this for her. _With_ her. Without even thinking, she took Santana's coffee cup and placed both coffees on the ground next to them. Then she placed her hands on either of Santana's cheeks.

"I know I'm supposed to wait til you take me home, but I'd really like to kiss you now."

A small smile tugged the corners of Santana's lips and she nodded.

And in that moment, Brittany shared her first kiss from 70 floors up. She could have been on top of the world.

* * *

After several minutes of gazing around their amazing view, Brittany was starting to get a little more chilly. The coffee had definitely been a good idea. It kept her hands warm and effectively warmed her up from the inside too. When the last of it was gone, she took Santana's hands and tried to put as much gratitude into her words as possible.

"This has been the most wonderful date ever, Santana. Thank you for taking me here. I know it probably wasn't easy."

Santana squeezed Brittany's hands back.

"I'm happy to be here with you."

Can you actually be addicted to a person? Because if that's possible, Brittany is addicted to Santana.

Another car ride later and Brittany found herself standing at her front door with Santana. The evening had gone by so fast. She couldn't believe their date was already over. She really wanted to invite Santana inside. Just for another cup of coffee maybe.

Or to hang out on the couch for a bit. Or fall asleep together. No big deal.

But she wanted to end the date properly, and so she let Santana give her one last kiss before she went back inside alone.

It was probably the best date ever.

* * *

Friday went by quickly also. Brittany was definitely getting more and more anxious to see her parents. She really did miss them. Around four o'clock, when Santana's last client left for the day, Brittany knocked lightly on the open office door.

"Hey, Santana… would you mind if I left a bit early today. I need to pick up my stuff and get to the airport."

So odd. She was asking her boss permission to leave early. She was also asking the woman she was in love with and kissed at the top of GE building last night.

Santana closed the folder she'd been writing notes in.

"Of course, Brittany. How are you getting there?"

"Um… a cab?" Brittany didn't have a car or anything.

"That's not necessary. I'll take you."

She got up from her desk and began collecting her things like it was no big deal. A smile started to spread across Brittany's face.

"You'll take me? You that's a big deal right? Taking someone to the airport."

Santana smirked over at Brittany, realizing she was playing around. She walked over and stood in front of the blonde, ready to leave.

"Well, in that case… will you let me take you to the airport?"

Brittany nodded happily, and leaned down to place a quick kiss to Santana's lips. She remembered when holding Santana's hand was becoming normal for her. It was such an amazing feeling that kissing her was now starting to be normal too.

Santana waited in her car while Brittany ran up to her apartment for her bag. Throwing the strap over her shoulder, she quickly snatched up Maggie's journal and put it in her purse. She was finally gonna get the ending to her wonderful story on the flight.

An hour later, she was telling Santana goodbye again. And Santana was telling her she'd miss her, and to please text her when she landed. It was adorable. With one last kiss, she departed for security and then waited to board her plane.

* * *

She had a window seat and no one sitting next to her on the flight. Ideal for not being bothered. After the plane leveled out, Brittany pulled the journal out of her purse and flipped it open, finding the first entry she'd yet to read.

_ December 1, 1941_

_ Dear diary,_

_It hasn't been long since Thanksgiving. But I miss her so much already. I am so happy I only have another two weeks before I'm back home again for Christmas. I need to see her again._

_Love always, _

_Maggie_

What a cute little entry. Brittany flipped eagerly.

_December 7, 1941_

_Dear diary,_

_What do I say here? I wasn't supposed to go home until next week. But we're all being sent home. I'm waiting on my father to pick me up now._

_Pearl Harbor was attacked this afternoon. So many soldiers are dead now. Everyone is terrified. No one knows what's going to happen next or if any more attacks will happen. I just want to get home._

_I need to see my family. I need to see Grace. I need for this day not to have happened._

_I'll write when I know more._

_Love,_

_Maggie_

Brittany sat there, staring at the page. How could she have not seen that coming? I diary from 1941, and she hadn't given one thought to there being a reaction to the bombing of Pearl Harbor. As terrified as Maggie must have been then, it was beyond fascinating now to see it written from the perspective of a scared teenager. She turned the page and continued.

This entry was difficult to read. Every few words, something was scratched out or illegible. And the ink was strangely blotted in some places, spreading in small warped rings that Brittany didn't understand the meaning behind. But the blonde made her best effort at interpreting it.

_December 8, 1941_

_Dear diary,_

_President Roosevelt addressed the country today. We are now at war. Like the rest of the planet._

_I was so relieved when Grace showed up at my door last night. I wasn't sure when I'd be able to see her, but then she was there. And she pulled me in and I finally felt a little less scared. She stayed with me. And we laid in my bed and she held me. And for just a moment, I thought maybe everything wasn't so bad. She made love to me. It didn't feel any different. It just felt wonderful like always. I don't know how I didn't see it._

_We were lying there afterward. I was thinking about going to sleep. Thinking about how even though everything else was so scary, at least I could just fall asleep with her tonight._

_And then she started to get dressed. And then everything ended._

_She's getting married. This summer she's getting married to her soldier. Her soldier._

_She tried explaining, but I couldn't really hear her. I think she may have said she still loves me._

_Is this what dying feels like? They always say your heart breaks when you lose love. But then why does my whole body feel broken?_

_I'm going to have to go to it. Everyone still believes we're only best friends. Why shouldn't I be happy my best friend has found a hero?_

_How did this happen?_

_Two days ago I was a college student. I was in love. I was happy._

_Now my love is getting married and I will have to watch it. My country is at war._

_Yes. I think this is what dying feels like._

_Maggie_

Brittany felt her own tear slide down her cheek and land on the page that immortalized Maggie's heartbreak. And then she understood the ink blotches. Maggie's own tears had littered this page, blotting the ink forever. Brittany was staring at the long-standing evidence of a broken heart. A broken soul, and a love that was shattered over seventy years ago. It was one of the saddest things she'd ever read. Not really even wanting to, Brittany turned the page and began to read. It was dated for June of the following year. Apparently Maggie had given up writing in her journal all together for a while.

_June 6, 1942_

_Dear diary,_

_This will be my last entry. I'm getting rid of this journal today. I don't care who finds it or reads it. As long as I never have to see it again._

_She is married now. I watched her walk down the aisle. She looked at me and I swear I thought about collapsing. She was beautiful._

_I watched her say her vows. I watched her profess her love for someone who wasn't me._

_I watched her dance with him._

_If there is something harder to do in life, then I challenge someone to find it. I had hoped these six months would help me. Not to be okay with this, not to find acceptance. Certainly not to be happy for her. But was it so outrageous to want to be numb today?_

_Six months did not help. I am still in love with her. I thought it felt like dying before. But watching her today… seeing her dance with him. Kiss him. She will never kiss me again._

_I'll never feel her lips again. Hear her tell me she loves me. Ever._

_After the reception I made it all the way back to my bedroom before I started crying. I'm proud of myself for holding it in that long._

_And now all I can do is get rid of this diary. Get rid of the memoirs that prove I loved her. Because maybe if they're gone, maybe my love can be too._

_Maggie_

Brittany snapped shut the journal, and wiped away the second tear that was falling down her cheek. That was _not_ the ending she had wanted. She felt somewhat hollowed after finishing Maggie's story. It also made her miss Santana. She just wanted the feel the woman's arms around her. To know that the love story she was currently living was still there.

She shoved the journal back into her purse, and switched between staring out the plane window and staring at the back of the seat in front of her. After no time at all, the plane was already descending.

When it touched down and began travelling down the runway, she dug through her purse for her phone. The plane had barely come to a complete stop when she hit the power button. After a few seconds, it was back up and running. She hastily texted Santana.

**Brittany: i've landed.**

Please text back quickly. Santana came through like always.

**Santana Lopez: glad you made it there safely. have a good weekend with your family.**

The hollow feeling Brittany had been feeling was starting to dissipate just a little.

**Brittany: thanks, i will. hey, santana?**

Another few seconds.

**Santana Lopez: ?**

Brittany quickly typed her response; she was being ushered off the plane.

**Brittany: i'll really miss you this weekend. see me sunday?**

She made her way down the jet way. Her phone buzzed again.

**Santana Lopez: someone has to pick you up from the airport, right?**

Another buzz immediately afterward.

**Santana Lopez: i miss you already.**

Brittany smiled down at the screen. Maggie's ending hadn't been happy. But Brittany had high hopes for hers. She saw the sign for the baggage claim and made her way towards it in search of her father.

* * *

**I hope you guys liked this one! Leave me comments if you'd like :)**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: i just wanted to say that i pretty much toss out the rules of canon with this fic. just so you know!**

**Also, since i have been asked a few times, i do not have or know how to work tumblr. BUT i do have twitter, and if you'd like to shoot me a question then you can find me there. silverdoe14 :)**

**hope you like the update! i'll quit rambling now.**

* * *

"Hey Dad," Brittany said, letting her father pull her into a tight embrace. She'd found him waiting by the baggage claim with his same old cap on and familiar smile.

Mr. Pierce was not generally a "soft" man. He'd worked hard his whole life and often didn't have much to say unless it was very very important. To Brittany, however, he was always warm and comforting. As a man should be to his only daughter. This fact usually got brought up at least once by Brittany's younger brother, Josh, just about every time she went home. Their father didn't exactly light up for him like he did for Brittany. Oh well.

Mr. Pierce let go of her and held her at arm's length to smile again.

"I'm glad you're home baby girl," he said, offering his arm like a gentleman and leading them over to the revolving conveyor belt to wait for her bag.

"Me too, Dad. Will Mom be up when we get home?"

Her father started bouncing back and forth on the balls of his feet, clearly more excited than he was letting on that his baby was home.

"Should be. She wanted to wait up to see you."

After a few more minutes of small talk, Brittany saw her bag emerge through the flaps hovering over the conveyor belt. She pointed it out, and her father picked it up easily. Years and years of manual labor had made him a very strong man. He led the way towards the exit, talking about the plans for the weekend.

The moment Brittany stepped outside, it was blatantly obvious she was in a different world. If it was starting to feel nice in New York, it was downright hot here. She couldn't believe how easy it was to forget North Carolina heat. Another thing, it might be mildly humid in New York… but the air here… she thought she might actually be able to drink it. As much as she was glad to be back to see her family, this was not something she missed. She welcomed the cool, dry interior of her dad's truck when she got in, and breathed in the familiar scent of peppermints and motor oil. Her father would never change.

About half an hour later, they were wending their way up a small mountain in tight spirals towards her parents' small cabin, the house she'd grown up in. Peering out the window, she looked out and saw the lights of the other small cabins dotting the path below. Farther out, she could see the moon sparkling off the lake she and her brother used to play in during the summer. It was almost too easy to imagine Maggie and Grace in a place just like this one, lying lakeside by the moonlight. But this thought only made her think of Maggie's broken heart at the end of the journal, and she quickly tried to think of something else.

Thankfully, she was spared the effort of this task. Within a few more minutes, her dad was parking his truck in their driveway. Before she even had both feet on the ground, her mother was out the front door. She was already clad in pajamas, and had her hands clasped over her heart as she came out to meet Brittany at the truck.

"Thank goodness you made it back safely," she said as she pulled Brittany into a hug not unlike the one her father had given her. Brittany smiled.

"It was a two hour flight, mom," she said into her mother's shoulder.

"Yes, well… all the same," said Mrs. Pierce, finally letting go, "I am your mother and I reserve the right to worry."

Brittany just smiled again. She loved her parents.

Once inside, Mr. Pierce took Brittany's bag to her old room while Mrs. Pierce led Brittany to the living room. Her brother, Josh, was taking up all three seats of the sofa when she walked in. He was a sophomore in college and went to the university in town on a small baseball scholarship. But he still lived at home with their parents. She didn't blame him. Living on campus was expensive, and her parents didn't make that much money.

"Move over, squirt," Brittany said, swatting at Josh's legs. He was easily a foot taller than her now, but old nicknames die hard.

"Nice to see you too, Britt," he said sarcastically. But he moved anyway and shot her a grin.

The blonde threw herself into the couch and relaxed into it. She may have had a short flight, but travelling really is tiring. Her father made his way back into the room and sat down with them. For a little while they all just chatted lazily, occasionally just enjoying each other's company in silence. It was nice to be back. Sitting here in the mountains really made her realize how not quiet New York always is, even when it is quiet. She knew when she went back on Sunday the noise would seem that much louder.

It was just past eleven when her dad gave a huge yawn and reminded her how tired she actually was. Agreeing that it was pretty much bedtime for everyone, they all departed from the living room for their separate bedrooms. Her parents on the other side of the house, her brother in the room next to hers.

As she lay in her old bed, listening to the wind in the trees outside, she thought about the journal. And the sadness washed over her again. And she wished so badly it hadn't ended that way. Not really even sure why, and knowing she'd probably regret it afterward, she reached over the edge of her bed and pulled out the journal from her purse. She reopened it to Maggie's last entry.

She let her fingers pass over each one of the tear stains. And once more she fought tears of her own as she read certain excerpts.

_I watched her dance with him._

_I am still in love with her._

_And now all I can do is get rid of this diary. Get rid of the memoirs that prove I loved her. Because maybe if they're gone, maybe my love can be too._

God, how terrible. Brittany hated she'd gone through that kind of heartbreak. And Maggie had explained each emotion so vividly. Had described her hurt in such a way that Brittany actually felt it herself. And somehow, Maggie had disposed of it. Because here it was, seventy years later in the hands of a stranger. Who knows how many other hands, how many other strangers it passed through? Glancing over at her nightstand, she fished a pen out of the drawer and flicked to the back of the journal to the first empty page. She didn't know what happened to Maggie after that last entry. Something told her she might not even want to. But she did feel the need to write. To apologize. To share her own hope.

_Dear Maggie,_

_I finished your story. I'm not quite sure what to say, other than I am so very sorry. My heart broke with yours. I wish so much that you could have had happiness with her._

Brittany paused here. It was so hard to find the right words. It made her wonder how Maggie wrote her feelings down so succinctly. Putting her pen back to the paper, she continued.

_I know you'll never read this. So maybe writing to you is silly. I think that's okay though. If you are still around, then I hope you found happiness. I hope you lived a life worth having. One not full of regret or bitterness. And if you're gone, then I hope you're in a place where Grace can finally be with you. Where you don't have to hide the love I know you both felt. I hope she was waiting for you._

_Either way, I also wanted to tell you something else._

_Maggie, I'm in love with her. I'm in love with her… and I think it might just be possible that she's falling in love with me too. And I think that if I'm patient with her, she'll let me in._

_I don't have all the answers. There's a lot about her I still don't know. But you know what, she's worth my patience._

_I wanted to tell you because… because well I think you'd be genuinely happy to know there's a little more love in the world, no matter which two strangers share it._

_Anyway, wherever you are now, I hope it's better than where you were then._

_Until I write again._

_Love,_

_Brittany_

The blonde let the journal shut with a quiet snap, and set it down on the nightstand. She'd just admitted for the first time that she was in love with Santana. Granted, it had been to a person she'd never met, in a journal nobody else would ever read… but still. That counted, right? Technically?

Looking at her phone, it wasn't quite yet midnight. And there was only one person she wanted to talk to now. One person whose voice she wanted to hear. Knowing she'd still be up, Brittany dialed Santana's phone number. She'd never actually talked to Santana over the phone before… which now that she thought about it was sort of odd. They'd always just texted. But knowing she was about to hear Santana's voice was thrilling. The phone didn't get through two whole rings before Santana answered.

"I have to say," she said in that smooth voice of hers without even a hello, "hearing my phone ring and seeing you're the one calling… that's quite a nice feeling."

Brittany could practically hear the smirk. It was absolutely perfect.

"Maybe if you're lucky, I'll do it again sometime," she retorted without missing a beat.

"Someone is feisty tonight," Santana said quietly.

Brittany smiled. Was it supposed to be this easy?

"Actually, I was really missing you. But that opportunity was too perfect to pass up," the blonde replied happily.

A second's hesitation passed before Santana spoke again.

"Noted," she said at her normal volume. "And if I choose to be sweet to you again will that earn me another sarcastic comment?"

Brittany chuckled. Santana sucked her in so effortlessly.

"I think you're safe. Sweep me off my feet."

It was Santana's turn to laugh, but she replied sweetly all the same.

"I miss you too, Brittany. I wish you were here with me."

And there it was. Brittany's crazy heartbeat again. She'd never get used to the idea that Santana wanted her. Missed her.

"Yeah?" Brittany replied, trying to make her voice sound even. "And what would you do if I were there?"

It was so hard not to think dirty thoughts around this woman.

"Oh," Santana replied airily, "I could think of a few options."

More erratic heartbeats. She loved how Santana could always make herself sound casual when being so suggestive.

"And what would those options be?"

A few more seconds passed.

"Hmm," Santana said thoughtfully, "One, we could have a midnight milkshake run… since you know… that's a cute thing to do with the person you're dating."

Dating. Hell yes.

"Two," she continued, "we could curl up in my bed and watch movies for another pajama party… because that was fun the first time."

Let's face it… Brittany was up for just about anything in Santana's bed.

"Or three, and probably my personal preference," she said, her voice dropping lower to that husky tenor that Brittany always melted for, "we could bring the bed back, get rid of the pajamas, and I could make you come for me again. Since, you know, that was also really fun the first time."

Well then. Brittany's heartbeat was now effectively between her legs, it was at least ten degrees warmer, and she wanted so badly for Santana to keep going.

"Jesus, Santana," Brittany breathed out, her voice also dropping lower.

"Ever since it happened the first time," Santana continued, seemingly reading Brittany's thoughts again, "I just want it to happen again. You have no idea… watching you come undone like that, and knowing I did it… I wanna do it again, Brittany."

Why? Why the _hell_ did Brittany have to be in North Carolina on this night?

"God, Santana… you're driving me crazy," Brittany replied. She was resisting the urge to drop her hand and just fuck herself right there while Santana was still listening.

"You drive me crazy on a daily basis," Santana said conversationally, as if that justified her teasing and settled the matter. "So, do you know which of the three options you'd pick?"

As if that required functional brain cells.

"Santana… as much as I would love to pick option three… or any option that involved a lack a clothing and you doing things to me," she said, trying not to imagine those things since she needed to stay focused, "I thought you wanted to wait… to—to have sex."

There. She said it like an adult.

"Oh Brittany," the woman sighed, "who said anything about sex?"

The blonde didn't know why, but for some reason she found that incredibly hot. Getting off… without having sex. Yes, that was hot. She decided it.

"You know, if I just up and keel over one day, it'll be all your fault," she said playfully.

"Fine, fine… I'll stop teasing you. But just so you know, I really want to," Santana replied lowly.

"I bet you do. Are you always this way at night? Or did I catch you at the right time?"

Santana chuckled before responding.

"If you only knew how often I think dirty thoughts about you, Brittany. Let's just leave it at that."

Well. That was quite a pleasant thing to hear.

"And now, I should probably say goodnight to you. After all I did say I'd stop teasing."

Brittany smiled. She couldn't believe this was her life.

"Goodnight then, Ms. Lopez. Until tomorrow?"

"Looking forward to it. Goodnight Ms. Pierce, sweet dreams."

"Sweet dreams, Santana."

Brittany disconnected and tossed her phone onto the other side of the mattress.

In love indeed.

* * *

The next day, she sat down at the kitchen table just as her mother was pouring glasses of orange juice. Breakfast was already on the table and her father had already started eating.

"Happy birthday, dad," the blonde said happily, looking up at him from across the table. He placed his glass back on the table and gave her a quick wink.

"Thanks, baby girl," he said, smiling happily back.

Just then, her brother decided to make his entrance. His hair was a mess and he was still in sweats. Some things never change.

"Uh… happy birthday dad," he said awkwardly, sitting down at the table. He didn't really make eye contact and neither did Mr. Pierce.

"Er… thanks Josh, he replied hastily. Men are so weird.

After stowing the orange juice back in the refrigerator and turning off the range, Mrs. Pierce joined her family at the table and they all begin eating their breakfast.

Brittany had to admit, there was something to be said for family breakfasts and home cooked meals.

Several minutes passed quietly, with the only sounds being the chink of utensils on plates. But, as she knew it would at some point on her trip, her mother began asking the same old questions.

"So, Britt… how is everything in New York?"

Brittany wondered if responding with the word 'amazing' was too strong.

"Really great, mom. You guys should come visit me this summer."

Her parents had only visited her a handful of times. Flights were expensive and her mother couldn't travel that long by car without getting sore.

Her mother glanced at her father quickly before responding, and Brittany felt a little guilty. She knew it wasn't easy for them to come to New York.

"We'll see what we can do," Mrs. Pierce said sweetly, before taking a sip of her orange juice.

"And are you dating anyone, Brittany?" her dad asked, seemingly in an effort to change the subject. Plus he always took an interest in Brittany's dating life. He was very picky about who went out with his daughter.

The blonde looked down at her plate and thought about what she wanted to say. She could tell them she was, and answer the inevitable follow-up questions. Or, she could lie.

No, that didn't feel right at all. Santana wasn't someone to lie about. Not to her parents.

She lifted her eyes back up to her father's and opened her mouth to respond when her brother spoke first.

"Don't even think about lying, Britt."

Brittany looked at Josh with a confused expression. How the hell did he know she was with someone?

"I wasn't going to, thank you very much. How did you know?"

His grin grew wider before he responded.

"I heard you talking to someone last night," he said sneakily.

"Were you listening to me you little skeev?"

Brittany fought back her childhood urge of flinging food at her little brother.

"We share a wall, Britt. It's not like I knew what you were saying. I could just hear you."

The blonde gave one last look of contempt anyway before turning back to her dad.

"I guess that's a yes," he said smiling at her before she could speak.

She smiled back and nodded.

"I am."

Man that felt kinda good.

"And is it… well I mean… are they… this person…" her mother stuttered out next. Brittany just chuckled.

Her parents knew and were completely okay with the fact that Brittany was bisexual. They'd supported each of her relationships, no matter how brief they'd been. But her parents still had trouble getting out the simplest of questions. Is it a boy or girl? Usually they just stuttered awkwardly for a while until Brittany gave in and just answered anyway.

"I'm seeing a woman, mom. Her name is Santana."

Her mother's response was cut off by her brother's, who enthusiastically repeated the name in the dirtiest way possible.

"Ooo… Santanaaaaa. Is she hot?"

"Joshua!" her mother hissed at him. Brittany kind of wanted to laugh.

"Ignore your brother, dear," Mrs. Pierce directed at Brittany. "Why don't you tell us about her?"

The blonde shot a quick glance back to her brother, who then silently mouthed 'Is she hot?' while their mother wasn't looking.

Brittany gave him a grin and a quick wink before turning back to her parents.

"She's an attorney at the firm I work for," Brittany said, choosing her words carefully. She didn't want to lie, but still her parents might not like the idea of her sleeping with her boss. Not that she was. Yet.

"She's from Chicago… she graduated from Columbia. She's kind of nerdy in a 'you wouldn't expect it' kind of way." Brittany stopped here and smiled, remembering Santana's weird dreams and movie preferences.

"She's reserved though. I don't know much about her family, except they're still in Chicago."

Both of her parents were wearing the beginnings of frowns. Understandable.

"She can't cook, but she seems to like cooking with me. She's very sweet once she relaxes a little."

Her father was now looking at her like maybe he understood that part.

"I don't think she's dated anyone in a while… but she wants to date me now. And she makes me happy," Brittany finished, looking up to see her parents looking at her with amused expressions, like they knew something she didn't.

"Well, anyone who can make you happy like that is just fine with me," her mother said supportively, reaching over and patting Brittany's hand. "Maybe we can meet her when we come to see you."

Santana meeting her parents. Interacting with them. Brittany didn't know why but the thought of Santana being social with anyone other than herself or a client was just odd. She giggled in spite of herself. She'd like to see that.

"Yeah… maybe you can," she said, smiling at her mother.

After they'd finished their breakfast, Brittany went to take a shower and begin getting ready for the afternoon. The rest of her family would be joining them today for lunch and then the boys were going off for an afternoon of golfing.

The day went by quickly. It seemed every single person wanted to talk to her. The only who to make it out and go somewhere like New York. She didn't mind. She was proud of her accomplishment of making it in the big city. All too soon, it was time for everyone to go home or go play a round of golf with the boys. She stood on their front porch with her mother as they watched Mr. Pierce and Josh head down the driveway.

Now it was time to relax. Maybe send a text or two to Santana. She flopped down on the couch again with her mother, and the two sat in silence for a little while. It was nice.

"You love her, don't you?" said her mother suddenly without any cue.

Brittany looked over. Mrs. Pierce was smiling at her the same way she had been that morning.

Brittany sighed, but in a content kind of way.

"Yeah, I think maybe I do. Mom?"

"Hmm?"

Her mother had her eyes closed and was leaning all the way back into the cushions.

"How did you know? With dad, I mean. How'd you know? That he was it."

The corners of Mrs. Pierce's lips pulled up into a smile, but she didn't open her eyes.

"Have you felt that moment? When you're with someone and you don't need words or touches or certain looks. You can just be. Because their presence is enough for you." She paused, still smiling to herself.

"And then they inevitably do touch you, or look at you, or speak to you. And you know you're… living… so that you can feel them. Know them."

She'd never heard her mother talk like that. But then again, she'd never asked her mother about love. She'd never had a reason to.

And with every word, she thought of Santana.

"Have you felt that moment, Brittany?"

She finally opened her eyes to look at her daughter.

Brittany smiled contently.

"Yeah, I think I have."

* * *

That night, after telling her dad one last happy birthday, Brittany retreated to her room and finally took her phone out to send a quick goodnight to Santana.

**Brittany: hey you… i'm going to bed. i just wanted to say goodnight and i'll see you in the morning.**

Truthfully she couldn't wait to see Santana again. And knowing she'd see her as soon as she got off the plane was amazing. She was also glad she booked an early flight home. She snatched her phone back up when it buzzed with Santana's response.

**Santana Lopez: goodnight sweet girl. see you when you land :)**

Once again Brittany tossed her phone to the side, and waited for sleep to find her.

* * *

The next morning, Brittany and her father were once more making their way through the airport. When they reached security, she turned around to hug him one last time. He couldn't go any farther than this point.

"Bye dad, I hope you had a good birthday."

"I did sweetie… call us when you land, okay? Oh, and tell that girl of yours hello from us."

Seriously, she had the best parents ever.

"I will. Bye dad."

He gave her his famous wink before she turned around and headed off for security.

An hour later, she found herself looking out the window of her plane and down on the landscape far below. She saw the patchwork designs of fields and farms, the intricate sprawl of city streets.

Pretty soon she was looking down on a city that looked very familiar to her, even from this high. And a little more happiness spread inside of her as she viewed New York City. And she knew somewhere down there Santana was waiting for her.

When the plane came to a full stop Brittany sort of had to fight the compulsion to get up and run. With her best imitation of patience, she watched as the plane door was opened and waited her turn to exit. As she walked down the jet way, she made a quick call to her parents to let them know she'd landed. Once out in the gate, she found the sign for the baggage claim and tried her hardest not to at least trot a little to get to it.

Finally, she spotted the revolving conveyor belt in the distance. There were hundreds of people milling around, waiting for bags, jabbering on their cell phones. And in one quick second, Brittany's eyes locked on the brunette's on the other side of the large room. And her earlier impulse to run died inside of her, and she just stood there looking at the beautiful woman across the room.

In the movies, the two characters always see each other in the airport, push the random nobodies out of the way in their haste to close the gap, and crash into each other in a moment of simple unadulterated passion.

Brittany saw Santana. She took a deep breath, and made her way calmly over. Stopping just in front of her, Brittany finally smiled down at her love. And her mother's earlier words echoed in her ears. And she knew that with Santana, she could just be.

"Hello again," said the brunette just loud enough for Brittany to hear.

"Hello again," Brittany repeated, not taking her eyes off her.

Santana returned Brittany's smile and took a step closer.

"Shall we get you home?"

God. Was there a way to not be smitten by her? Brittany just nodded. That was enough.

Santana took her hand and interlaced their fingers. And then Brittany knew again.

She was living to feel Santana.

* * *

**Leave comments if you feel so inclined. Thanks as always for reading :)**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: just wanted to remind you all that i think you're wonderful. thanks for continuing to read :)**

* * *

Brittany felt Santana let go of her hand as they approached the black Audi. She wished Santana hadn't. Holding her hand felt way too good.

The brunette silently popped the trunk so that Brittany could stow her bag in it, and then closed it again once the luggage was secure. Looking across the top of the car, Brittany caught Santana's gaze just before she opened the passenger door. Her eyes had that familiar glint in them that the blonde was starting to associate with impending pleasure. Or torture. Probably both.

Once seated, she turned expectantly, facing Santana. The woman just looked back smirking. What else?

"Well?" Brittany asked, as if what she was waiting on was abundantly clear.

"Mmm?" Santana asked back, frustrating as ever. She cranked the car and put in into reverse.

"I don't get a welcome home kiss?"

Santana chuckled like she'd been expecting that, and started backing out of the space slowly. Brittany felt her hopes fall.

"Patience is a virtue, you know," she responded.

Brittany hoped whoever coined that stupid phrase had suffered from their words at least once before they died. Patience is a virtue. Eff that.

"Faint heart never won fair lady," she shot back, finding for probably the first time one of her mom's silly sayings useful.

"Do you feel that tension right now?" Santana asked, ignoring the response and glancing at Brittany as they maneuvered their way out of the parking deck.

If she was talking about Brittany's increasing desire to rip off all Santana's clothes, then yes, she felt it. But Santana continued before the blonde could vocalize that thought.

"For me, it started when I walked into the airport. Then it got stronger when I saw you. And again when I took your hand. And now here we are, sitting in this car."

She glanced over at the blonde and smiled as they got onto the freeway.

"And you're so close to me… and there's this tension. And it's mounting. And I kind of like it. If I kiss you, the tension will break, don't you think?"

Brittany thought for a moment, watching the trees pass by, wondering how that could be a bad thing.

"All the more reason to kiss me, I think," she finally said. Santana chuckled again.

"Wouldn't you rather break all that tension when we're alone? In private?"

Well that sounded promising too.

"And so if I'm patient, we can break a little tension when we get back?" she asked with a grin. Santana returned it before responding.

"Brittany, I haven't seen you all weekend. There's a lot of tension to break. Unless traveling has made you too tired of course."

Brittany actually laughed out loud at this before she could stop herself. It would take more than hell, high water, and fatigue combined to stop her from breaking some tension with Santana.

"That's what I thought," Santana said quietly, glancing over her shoulder to change lanes. They then rode in silence for a while, with Brittany constantly fighting the urge to reach over and touch any part of the brunette. She settled for just looking at her, letting her desires escalate and increasingly becoming more impatient.

When Santana took an exit that wouldn't lead to Brittany's apartment she frowned, wondering what they were doing.

"This isn't my exit…" the blonde said, confused. She thought she saw the corners of Santana's lips twitch before she replied.

"My place is closer," she offered as explanation.

Well then.

The rest of the ride was spent with Brittany fidgeting in her seat and now not only resisting the temptation to launch herself at the woman next to her, but also trying desperately not to ask how much longer, like a small child. She just wanted to be alone with Santana.

When they finally turned down a street she recognized, she felt a small twinge of nervousness start to edge in next to her desire. What exactly did Santana have in mind? She almost wished she had a few more minutes to collect herself before they finally arrived. Almost.

As Santana pulled into the small garage to her building, Brittany took one deep breath and started to relax again. Whatever happened with Santana, she was ready for it.

After she'd pulled into a space, Santana stopped the engine and removed her keys from the ignition.

"Ready, Ms. Pierce?" she asked, looking over and grinning. Brittany loved when Santana called her that. Brittany nodded and they got out of the car, making their way to Santana's very large, very empty condo.

* * *

Brittany stood there in the dark, just inside Santana's front door. She heard it close softly with a barely audible snap. Any moment now, she'd stop fighting the temptation. Stop resisting the urge. A light came on a few feet in front of her. Santana dropped her hand from the lamp and slowly walked back to Brittany, never breaking eye contact. The glint was still there.

"Hi," she said quietly, stopped just inches in front of the blonde.

"Hi," Brittany breathed back. She wondered how much longer Santana would drag this out.

Silently, Santana reached forward and took the purse from Brittany's shoulder. She set it on the floor by the door. Standing straight again, the brunette let a small smirk flicker across her face before finally granting Brittany the thing she wanted most.

Brittany felt Santana's lips on hers at the same time as soft hands on her hips. And it didn't do justice to all the fantasizing she'd done this weekend. Even the most vivid imagination was nothing compared to what Santana's lips could do in reality.

What started out as a sweet welcome home kiss quickly shifted into something more urgent. With a little pressure from the hands on her hips, Brittany felt herself be pushed back into the inside of Santana's front door. She was reminded of their first kiss. How she had been the one to push Santana into a door. How they'd had to stop quickly before it went too far.

She hoped this time they wouldn't stop.

The next thing she knew, Santana's fingertips were brushing against her skin just under the hem of her shirt. And Santana's tongue was mingling with hers. And all she could smell was Santana's perfume. All she could feel was Santana's skin. It was probably the best sensory overload she'd ever experienced.

She moaned into Santana's mouth and the woman hummed in appreciation. Brittany was pretty sure she'd need to sit down soon. She was positive her knees would betray her any second and she'd end up in a pile on the floor. It was like going the weekend without seeing Santana had lowered Brittany's tolerance. Like drinking a hard liquor for a person twenty years sober. She was getting drunk fast.

Reading her mind (as Brittany was convinced this was a power Santana possessed), the woman slid her hands around Brittany's back and pulled her away from the door. They both kicked their shoes off as they walked and she took Brittany's hand to lead them over to the vast leather sofa. Brittany lay down on her back, and without hesitation Santana straddled her.

Maybe moving away from the door hadn't been the best idea for Brittany's ability to stay conscious.

"Welcome back," Santana said huskily. Her chest was just slightly heaving. It made Brittany at least feel slightly better knowing she wasn't the only one a little breathless. "Is this what I'll always come home to? Because if it is, I'll leave more often." Santana chuckled and let her fingers start tracing the skin around Brittany's midriff again.

"I don't know if I'd like that very much."

Before Brittany could respond, Santana's lips were at her neck and all desire to form words had vanished. She let her hands fall to Santana's thighs, wishing so much that jeans weren't covering them up. She wanted to feel more of her skin.

She wished she wasn't also wearing jeans. They were blocking way too much feeling. She tried to ignore the ever growing throbbing between her legs, the throbbing that wasn't getting any relief from the stupid denim between her and Santana.

Finally, when Santana gently sank her teeth into the sensitive flesh of Brittany's neck, it was all too much. She needed the jeans to be gone. She needed more feeling.

She took a deep breath in an effort to steady her voice.

"Santana?"

The brunette sat up and looked down at Brittany curiously. It wasn't like Brittany to stop.

"Something on your mind, Ms. Pierce?"

Aside from wanting to ease the ache between her legs, preferably with Santana's help… no not much.

"I was just wondering if I could borrow a pair of shorts… or something to change into."

Santana smirked down at her like she knew exactly why Brittany wanted to change. Hell, maybe she did. She was wearing jeans too. Still, Brittany rushed on, not wanting to admit to it.

"I just feel like I have the airport still on me, that's all," she stated with mock innocence.

Yes. Santana knew exactly what was going on.

"You can go take a shower if you like. And then I'll lend you some clothes," she responded, and then added quietly, "Wouldn't want you to feel like you have the airport on you."

Brittany sighed, but decided she better play along with her own ruse.

"Thanks." Santana swung her leg over so Brittany could get up from the couch.

"You can use the one in my bedroom," Santana said, smirking at her again.

Brittany made her way down the hallway and pushed open the door to Santana's bedroom. In the middle of the room was a huge king size bed, neatly made up. Again, in here there were no pictures on the walls or artwork. It was bare just like the rest of the condo. Brittany wondered again about the reason behind that. Crossing the room, she opened the bathroom door and walked inside. The room was huge, proportionate to the rest of the condo. It was also meticulously neat, like the rest of the place. She marched over to the shower, which happened to be a large square area with a stone floor and stone walls, and turned it on so it would be heating up. She turned around in search of a cabinet or closet that might hold towels, but her eyes landed on Santana first, leaning against the doorframe. Brittany gasped in surprise.

"Finding everything okay?" Santana asked casually, ignoring Brittany's shock.

"I was just looking for a towel," she said quietly, letting her heartbeat come back down.

Santana walked into the room and opened up a small door on the opposite wall. Inside, white fluffy towels were stacked neatly. She grabbed one and placed it on the edge of the counter.

Instead of walking back out again, she took a few steps towards Brittany, letting her hands find Brittany's hips again. She nudged the blonde into the wall next to the shower door, and then reached one hand inside to test the water.

"It's warm," she said softly. Again, she made no move to leave.

Brittany nodded, looking down at the brunette. The throbbing was returning full force.

"Could I join you?"

Oh god.

Oh god.

Oh god.

Santana. Naked. In. Shower.

Brittany gulped, thought about saying yes, and then decided her voice probably wouldn't work right. She settled with nodding vigorously. Steam was starting to pour out of the shower door.

Without another word, Santana's hands moved from gripping her hips to gripping the hem of her shirt. As she pulled it upward, Brittany lifted her arms. Santana discarded the shirt onto the floor. Still maintaining eye contact, the brunette then reached around Brittany's back and quickly found the clasp to her bra. In one quick second, Brittany felt the material loosen, and felt that little bit of nervousness start to come back. Santana was about to see her for the first time. All of her.

Warm fingers wound themselves under the straps resting on Brittany's shoulders and pulled outward, bringing the bra away with them. As steamy as the room was getting, Brittany felt her nipples instantly harden. Both from her level of arousal and from being cooler outside the confines of the bra. For the first time since asking to join her, Santana broke eye contact. She let her eyes fall to Brittany's breasts unabashed. When she finally looked back up, a look of appreciation was behind her eyes. Brittany's confidence rose a little.

With shaking hands the blonde reached forward and did the same with Santana, lifting her shirt over her head and unclasping her bra. She took in the sight of perfect abs covered by dark skin before she pulled the bra away.

She looked down at Santana for the first time. Her breasts were fuller and made Brittany want to do nothing but touch them. She wanted to feel them in her palms. Her nipples were dark, and also hard. They were waiting for Brittany. She knew it.

As if they were taking turns, Santana reached out again for the button to Brittany's jeans. Torturously slowly, she slid down the zipper. And then, in a move that would render any person speechless, she kneeled down to her knees. Hooking her fingertips in the belt loops, she started to pull down. In seconds, Brittany's jeans were pooled around her ankles. She stepped out of them with way more grace than she thought she possessed at the moment.

From the floor, and still on her knees, Santana looked up. Brittany looked down into her brown eyes and nodded. She felt fingers slide underneath the material of her underwear, and felt cooler air brush against her as Santana started to pull. She knew Santana would be able to see how wet she was. She knew and didn't care. When she looked down, Santana was again looking at her without shame. Brittany resisted the urge to run her fingers through Santana's hair and spread her legs right there.

The woman leaned in and placed a soft, wet kiss to Brittany's protruding hip bone. The blonde sorely wished the kiss had been lower, but Santana was determined to make her a master of patience. The brunette began to make her way back up Brittany's body. Brittany really thought Santana would skip over that part of her body too, so she was largely taken aback when she felt a palm cover one breast and Santana's tongue snaking over the nipple of the other. She moaned out loud again and reveled in the pleasure of what Santana was doing to her.

"Oh god, Santana," she breathed out heavily, once again fighting the urge not to collapse in a heap on the floor.

With a gentle squeeze of her hand, and one last flick of her tongue across Brittany's nipple, Santana released her breasts and continued moving upward, placing a lingering kiss on Brittany's lips.

The blonde wondered what would happen to her self-control when she finally got the rest of Santana's clothes off.

Maybe she would just die. That would be a reasonable reaction to seeing Santana naked, right?

With both hands, she pushed Santana's hair out of her face. She let her fingers trail down the woman's neck. As she approached Santana's chest, she barely grazed her breasts, letting herself only drag a thumb across one of her nipples. She watched as Santana leaned her head back into the wall, clearly enjoying it. And Brittany was proud of her restraint. If Santana wanted her to master patience, then she would do it.

Reaching her jeans, she unbuttoned them and pulled them down slowly. She took in the sight of Santana in front of her. Clad only in light pink underwear. It looked so good in contrast with her skin. Taking a deep breath, she hooked her fingers into the thin material as Santana had and pulled, dropping to her knees as well.

Being eye level with Santana's center was probably the best test of self-restraint Brittany would ever endure. She gulped hard, willing herself not to lean in and taste whatever she could get to. She looked up to see Santana smiling down at her. She extended her hand like always.

"Shall we?"

Brittany smiled and stood up again. She'd just successfully withstood the most seductive undressing of her entire life. She internally congratulated herself and got in the shower with her goddess.

* * *

Well, that was interesting.

Brittany lay on her back in Santana's bed. She was wearing an extremely short pair of Santana's shorts and a rather snug tank top. The brunette lay next to her in a similar outfit, and neither of them spoke.

Brittany couldn't stop replaying the last half hour in her mind. Undressing Santana. Seeing her body. Feeling Santana's lips across her chest as warm water cascaded across her back. Santana's breasts filling her palms.

Santana gave all new meanings to the word pleasure. And Brittany loved all of them.

Rolling onto her side, she smiled at Santana and took a deep breath.

"So… what'd you do this weekend while I was gone?"

The woman laughed, also rolling onto her side to look at Brittany.

"That's what you want to talk about?" she asked, still chuckling.

Brittany shrugged one shoulder.

"Why not?"

She gave Brittany a fleeting smirk before answering.

"Mostly I just worked. The past couple weekends there's been this girl taking up all my time. So I used the weekend to catch up and get a little ahead."

The playful look in her eyes told Brittany she was just kidding. Brittany decided to play along as usual.

"That sounds annoying. Do you want me to tell her to back off? I could do that for you, as your assistant and all…"

Brittany's favorite smirk was back in place on Santana's lips.

"That won't be necessary. I actually kind of like her."

Brittany nodded sagely.

"Lucky girl," she said with a wink.

Santana just nodded in agreement and then reached over and started stroking Brittany's arm. Her fingers were still warm from the shower.

"How's your family? Did you enjoy being back home?" she asked without looking up. Her eyes were tracing the path of her fingertips.

"They're fine. Same as always. Dad always does his best to pretend it isn't his birthday. They went golfing as soon as it was polite to leave."

Santana nodded again and gave a small smile. Brittany almost felt like there was a hint of sadness behind it. Brittany continued to break the silence.

"They asked if I was dating anyone…"

At this, Santana's smile seemed to become a little more genuine.

"Did they now? And what did you tell them?"

Brittany smiled. She loved Santana's demeanor.

"I told them I was dating an incredibly hot attorney."

Santana laughed and let her fingertips slide a little farther up Brittany's arm.

"You told them I was hot, huh? That's awfully forward."

Brittany smiled again, replaying that particular conversation in her mind.

"Well, actually I told my brother, in the form of a wink. He understood."

Santana sighed once before answering.

"Little brothers are good at that," she said quietly. Before Brittany could respond, she continued.

"So your parents just know I'm an attorney?"

Brittany paused before answering. She wondered what was up with Santana.

"Um, yeah pretty much. They said they wanted to meet you though. They might be coming up this summer."

Santana looked up at her with a little surprise in her eyes.

"They… they want to meet me? Your parents? Why?"

Brittany narrowed her eyes. It was so odd to see Santana look nervous.

"Santana, they'd be happy to meet anyone that makes me happy like you do. Someone that I could—"

She stopped herself before she blurted it all out.

Someone she could love. Be with. Give her heart to forever.

"—someone like you."

Santana gave her another fleeting smile at these words. But it didn't quite reach her eyes. Confusion and panic seemed to be residing there now.

"That's not what you were going to say," she said quietly. She was stroking Brittany's arm a lot more slowly now.

"Sure it was," Brittany said with confidence she wasn't feeling.

When Santana gave her a small nod, Brittany knew the woman had seen right through the lie. That was her part of her fucking job, after all.

"It's really no big deal though. They won't be up here til the end of summer. If they come at all. My parents don't have a lot of money. And my mom can't really go that long in a car…"

She felt herself starting to ramble. She didn't know how this conversation had ended up here.

Santana seemed to be pulling herself together. She stroked a thumb across Brittany's cheek.

"Hey… it'll be fine okay?"

Her smile seemed genuine. Her hand on Brittany's cheek felt reassuring. But why did Brittany still think something felt off?

Santana let her hand fall and turned over to look at her alarm clock. It wasn't even dinner time yet.

"Anyway… I guess I better get you home. So you can get unpacked and all that before you go to bed."

Brittany cocked her head to the side. Santana wanted to take her home? Had Brittany been too presumptuous to think she'd be spending the night here tonight?

She nodded and got out of Santana's bed, utterly confused.

"You can wear that home if you like, I'll get it back later."

Brittany just nodded again. She was starting to feel like she was being rushed out.

Twenty minutes later, she found herself sitting in Santana's car outside her apartment building. The ride had been silent. Santana hadn't held her hand or smiled. Brittany still had no idea what was going on.

"Santana, I—"

"Have a good evening okay? I'll see you in the morning," Santana said quickly, cutting her off.

Brittany nodded and got out of the car. Santana beat her to the trunk and lifted her bag out of it for her. After a very chaste kiss to her lips, Santana was back in her car before Brittany could say another word. She turned around and started walking up her building's steps. She heard the Audi take off behind her.

* * *

As Brittany got off the elevator the following morning, she couldn't suppress the little bit of trepidation she'd been feeling since last night. Walking into work had become one of Brittany's favorite things ever since Santana became her boss. Today she felt unsure of herself and maybe even a little queasy. Santana hadn't texted her goodnight last night. It wasn't until she didn't get one that she realized how much she liked Santana telling her sweet dreams.

When she finally rounded the last corner and entered Santana's office, she felt a sense of relief. There she was at her desk like always; dressed in her usual suit and looking like the most perfect creature she'd ever seen.

Her moment of relief lasted about three seconds, because when Santana lifted her head to look at Brittany it wasn't with the usual smirk. The smile that was pulling at her lips looked strained and forced.

"Er… good morning, Santana."

"Good morning, Brittany."

Her voice sounded casual. But it didn't belong to her. It wasn't the way she normally greeted Brittany.

Not wanting to push her luck, Brittany didn't even try to go over and give her a kiss. She just left the office with a heavier heart than the one she came in with.

The entire day passed by like this. Santana was distant and professional. She'd smile but it wasn't Brittany's smile. She didn't look up as much and she didn't smirk when they did happen to make eye contact.

For the first time, Brittany was completely miserable in Santana's company. She welcomed five o'clock when it arrived. Glad for the chance to get home and collect herself.

After she'd picked up her purse and keys from underneath the desk, she marched over to Santana's office and stood in the door frame. She felt uncomfortable and awkward.

"Santana… I'm leaving for the day."

"Okay Brittany. Have a good evening."

Brittany felt her frustration rising again. She hated that indifferent attitude Santana had adopted all day.

"Look… I dunno what's really going on here… but I hope this gets better, whatever it is," Brittany said quietly, waving her hand between Santana and herself.

Santana twiddled her pen between her fingers a few times but then eventually looked up at Brittany and nodded, acknowledging that she'd heard her.

Brittany turned on her heel and walked away. It had been a terrible Monday.

* * *

For all the hope she'd had that Tuesday would be better, she may as well have been hoping to win the lottery. There had been no change in Santana from the day before. There were no smirks, no kisses, no lingering looks. It was killing Brittany on the inside. She volleyed back and forth between despair over whatever had been broken between her and Santana, frustration that she didn't quite know why it was happening, and anger that none of it seemed to be bothering the woman she'd fallen in love with.

At the end of Tuesday, she left without even a goodbye. That seemed to be what Santana wanted.

They lasted the week this way. Brittany woke up each morning hoping that day would be the day they sorted themselves out. She went to bed each night praying that was the last night she'd have to endure it.

When five o'clock on Friday rolled around, she'd finally had enough. She'd been stewing on her plan all day long, contingent upon Santana's actions. Now that they'd gone another whole day speaking hardly at all, she intended to carry it through.

She marched into Santana's office with her purse and keys already with her. She'd need to make a quick getaway after this.

"Santana."

The brunette placed her pen down and looked up with that counterfeit smile Brittany was learning to despise.

"Mmm?"

"Santana. I'm not going to let this go on forever. I tried to give you time to get over this freak out or whatever the hell it is you're doing. But you don't want to address anything so I will."

She was at least a little more content with the fact that Santana's phony smile had been wiped off her face. She took a deep breath and prepared herself for what she was about to say.

"I can only assume you're freaking out because of what I told you about my conversation with my parents. And since you probably already know, I might as well just say it."

"Brittany—" Santana started. But the blonde cut her off. She was not to hold her tongue now.

"I'm in love with you Santana."

There. She said it. Can't take it back now. Another deep breath.

"I'm in love with you and I can't help that. You're wonderful and amazing and more than I ever thought I'd have. Well… except for right now. Because you're being kind of a jerk. But I love you despite that. And I will continue to love you, because that's all I want to do now. Is love you."

She felt the tears start to well up in her eyes and knew she'd have to make a break for it soon.

"But I'm not going to come in here each day and let you ignore me. I've got a good bit of vacation built up and I've decided to take next week off, which I'm sure you won't mind since you don't seem to need me anyway."

Another deep breath. Santana just stared at her with her mouth half open.

"So I'll be at home. When and if you decide to deal with this and acknowledge that I've fallen for you, you know where to find me."

She took a step backward, halfway wanting to wait to see if the brunette would reply. When she didn't, Brittany hung her head, disappointed.

"Goodbye, Santana."

She exited the office just as the first tear slid down her cheek.

* * *

Brittany was sure Santana would come that night. She'd show up after a few hours and admit to how big of a jerk she'd been. She tell Brittany she loved her back. Everything would be okay.

Once midnight arrived, Brittany started to lose a little confidence. She fell asleep on her couch that night waiting for the knock that never came.

She spent the weekend feeling sorry for herself and moping around in her pajamas. Honestly it was pretty pathetic, but she couldn't get herself motivated enough to do anything else. Really if Santana showed up now it might be a little embarrassing. Her hair was thrown up in a messy bun, her apartment looked like a storm blew through it, and she hadn't changed her pajamas in two days.

On Monday evening, her phone rang right around the time she knew Santana would be getting off work. She snatched it up quickly, but at this point wasn't surprised it wasn't Santana. This time it was Christine. Brittany debated whether or not she even wanted to pick up, but she decided being miserable was getting old.

"Hey Christine," Brittany said, giving her best attempt at nonchalance.

"Oh, what happened? You sound awful," Christine responded bluntly.

Nonchalance fail.

"Gee thanks. Don't worry it's fine. What's up?" She hoped Christine would just drop it.

"Well I was calling to see if you wanted to go out tomorrow night. But if you're not up for that then would you like to do something else?"

Brittany hesitated. Truthfully she really didn't feel like going out. Tomorrow night or any other night in the immediate future. On the other hand, maybe she wouldn't feel so pathetic if she actually put real clothes on and interacted with real people. She decided to make a snap decision.

"Sure, why not? Will there be alcohol?"

She heard Christine sigh through the phone.

"If I get you drunk will you tell me what's going on with you?"

The blonde paused again. Did she want to finally share everything? She thought maybe she did.

"I'll think about it."

"Works for me. I'll pick you up at seven?"

"Yeah, see you then. Bye Chris," she said flatly before hanging up. It seemed Santana had put her in more of a funk than she was willing to admit. But she was proud of herself for at least agreeing to get out of her apartment.

By the time Tuesday evening arrived, she still hadn't heard from Santana and she was ready to consume whatever drink got in her way. And that really said something for Brittany, as she wasn't a heavy drinker.

Christine picked her up and took her to a low key bar they loved so much. It was usually quiet enough to have a conversation, and not crowded to the point of getting to know strangers in ways you never wanted to.

Brittany had barely swallowed her first sip of a cocktail when Christine started.

"So… tell me what's going on."

Sometimes she really loved this about her friend. Her straight to the point, not fooling around kind of attitude. Sometimes though it was a bit inconvenient, especially when Brittany wasn't sure how much she wanted to say. If she was being realistic with herself though, she knew she'd be getting pretty drunk tonight and would eventually spill everything anyway. Might as well spit it out while she can make a coherent sentence.

"In a nutshell?"

Christine took a sip of her own drink and nodded.

"Go for it."

Brittany took a deep breath and went for it.

"Well… basically I started dating my new boss who I told you about before. She's exceptionally beautiful and really I just couldn't help myself. Except then I fell for her. I didn't really mean to, it just happened. And I told my parents who I saw last weekend and then I almost let that slip when I saw her again. Except after I almost told her she freaked out because I guess she knew what I was about to say anyway. That was last Sunday. And then she was weird all last week and on Friday I couldn't take it anymore. So I told her I was in love with her. And then I sort of stormed out. And I haven't heard from her since."

She waited for the aftermath of her rambling. Christine's jaw was slack and she was just staring blankly. After a few seconds, she picked up her glass again and took a little more than a sip this time. Then she nudged Brittany's glass towards her and indicated she should do the same.

Brittany took a large gulp. She felt the alcohol burn down her throat but she welcomed it. Hopefully it would ease some of her sadness over what was going on with Santana. She also felt a slight sense of relief at finally telling someone exactly what was going on with her.

"Oh, Britt, I'm so sorry. She'll come around though. She'll realize how lucky she is for a girl like you to love her. Do you wanna talk some more about it?"

Brittany paused. She wasn't sure how much more she could say about it without crying again. And that was the last thing she wanted to do. Oddly, she thought fleetingly of Maggie's journal, and how she wouldn't mind telling a long gone stranger all of her feelings.

"No… I just want to drink. Which you promised me we'd do."

Christine nodded in understanding.

"I did promise you that. Shall we?"

She raised her glass and Brittany clinked hers with it. This might not be the best way to relieve heartache… but it was the best she could do.

Several hours later, Christine was pulling up to Brittany's building. While she'd stopped drinking a long time ago in order to drive, Brittany had certainly not felt the need to do so. She clumsily leaned over in the car and gave Christine a hug while singing the theme song to Friends.

"You're the bessssst," she slurred out after letting go of her friend.

"And you're drunk. Get inside and drink some water you crazy girl."

Brittany laughed. Yes, she was drunk.

She got out of the car and danced her way up her building's steps. When she got the front door opened, she turned around and gave a silly wave to Christine. She could see Christine laughing in response. She made sure Brittany got through the door before taking off again.

Just as she got off the elevator for her floor, her phone buzzed. She opened it up to see a text from Christine already.

**Christine: had fun tonight. glad i got to see you.**

A nice little feeling of contentment bubbled inside Brittany. Christine could be so sweet sometimes. Before she could put her phone away it buzzed again with another message from her best friend.

**Christine: don't forget the water you drunken fool.**

Even in her drunken state she could see the irony of the situation. So sweet indeed. She burst out with a loud cackle as she approached her front door.

When she lifted her head to put her key in the lock she found herself not looking at the door though. A very familiar brunette was blocking it, and there were tear streaks running down her face. Brittany stopped dead in her tracks. The look in Santana's eyes was mixed between confusion and disbelief.

"You're just getting in?"

Brittany pulled her phone back out and checked the time. It was past midnight. She wobbled slightly on the spot.

"And you're drunk?"

Santana wiped away the tears on her face and started to walk past Brittany.

"Glad I spent so much time being upset, then."

Before Brittany's sluggish brain could comprehend, Santana was already getting onto the elevator.

"S—Santana, wait!"

Brittany started walking quickly down the hallway, but the doors had already closed by the time she got there. She slammed her hand onto the button but she knew by the time it came back up Santana would be gone. Feeling very frustrated, she threw open the door to the stairs and began making her way down as fast as her legs would take her. It was a miracle she made it to the bottom without falling in her drunken state.

Just as she flung open the door to the outside, she saw a black Audi speeding away.

Fuck.

* * *

**i know... cliffhangers suck. would this one be okay if i promise to update more quickly? leave comments as always if you want!**


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: i tried to keep my promise and update soon :) does this mean i'm forgiven for my cliffhanger? i hope you enjoy this one, and thank you so much for your responses to the last one. I appreciate the time you take to write them for me!**

* * *

A cool breeze tossed Brittany's hair around her face as she stood on the steps to her apartment building. She couldn't seem to decide what emotion to feel. So she just felt them all, rapidly interchanging and leaving her feeling more disoriented than ever.

Shock. Santana had been here. Crying at Brittany's door. She'd never seen anything more heart wrenching than tears falling down Santana's beautiful face. She hated she'd just stood there, frozen.

Confusion. How long had Santana been there? Had she been pouring her heart out, crying because she thought Brittany was ignoring her? Had she just arrived, already in tears over what had happened?

Sadness. She was gone again. This had been the moment. The moment to straighten it all out. And it was gone.

Anger. Santana was the one who decided to fall apart. Santana was the one who basically ignored Brittany for over a week. Santana was the one who left before Brittany could explain.

Brittany stood there, staring off down the street Santana had sped away on. She let the emotions roll through her, morphing into one another before she really even had time to register what was there. Her sluggish brain was not helping matters. She wasn't even really sure how long she'd been standing there.

After a little while she gave up hope of seeing the Audi coming back down the street, and turned to go back inside. Reaching her apartment, she kicked off her shoes numbly and started stripping as she made her way back to her bedroom. She left the clothes on the floor behind her as she went, marking her path. She didn't care if it was messy or lazy. Nobody was there to see it.

She was down to nothing to but her underwear when she finally reached the bathroom, and she turned the water on hot in the shower before removing those too. She needed to wash this night off. She needed her brain to find clarity. Brittany needed to determine what she was going to do next.

Standing under the hot water, she began to feel her thoughts become a little more concrete, a little less foggy. With every passing moment, and with increasing sobriety, the emotion that began to govern her thoughts was now anger.

She couldn't believe Santana did this to her. Brittany had been nothing but patient with Santana this entire time. She'd finally fallen in love and this is how it turned out? With Santana running away and Brittany chasing her for something that wasn't her fault? She couldn't believe the first time she'd ever told someone she loved them they hadn't said it back. She couldn't believe she poured her heart out for nothing.

Fed up with the shower, she quickly turned the water off and got out to dry off. She was so angry, that for a split second she thought about going in to work tomorrow just to tell Santana it was over. That she deserved better.

But then she thought about all the reasons she'd fallen in love with Santana in the first place. Her smile, the way she held Brittany's hand, the way she looked at Brittany like she might love her too. Her voice, her smell. And then there were those moments of sheer vulnerability. The ones that pulled Brittany farther and farther in every time.

Realizing those moments might be over forever, Brittany couldn't believe she thought about ending them on purpose for even a second. She might be angry, but she was still in love.

She marched into her bedroom and looked for a distraction. She wasn't ready to lie in bed with nothing but her thoughts until falling asleep.

In seconds, her eyes fell on the one thing that might distract her. Even though it was a tragedy on its own, Brittany threw herself onto her bed and picked up Maggie's journal from the nightstand. She didn't know why she kept coming back to it. She didn't know why she thought it could offer her solace. She didn't know why she wanted to reread a love story that would only ever end in misery.

Remembering another of her mother's sayings, the blonde opened the journal and huffed out a sigh.

She supposed it was true. Misery loves company.

* * *

Brittany started from the beginning, hating that she loved how promising it all began. As she read on, she couldn't help herself from wishing it would end differently. Wishing that maybe this time, there wouldn't be tear-stained pages or a first dance that didn't belong to Maggie.

When she finally reached the end, it was well into the morning and she still wasn't tired. Sighing again, she played with the last page with Maggie's writing. She wondered if she wanted to put herself through the torture of rereading all of her own entries. The ones about Santana.

She wondered if she wanted to reread her own love story that also just possibly ended in tragedy. Brittany decided that if she was going to be angry and miserable, she might as well do it right. Taking a deep breath, she turned the page.

Brittany stared in confusion for just a few seconds. The entry she was looking at did not belong to her. Nor did it belong to Maggie, whose elegant handwriting was very distinctive. No, a different hand had crossed this page and written these words. The writing was small, and slanted in the opposite direction from both hers and Maggie's. Perplexed, Brittany looked at the corner of the page. It had been written in the fall of just last year. Deciding why the hell not, she leaned back into her pillow and began to read.

_Dear Maggie,_

_I found your diary today. It was in a box of left behind things at the new place I just moved into. I guess that makes it mine now? Either way, I read everything in one sitting. For some reason I just didn't want to stop until I got to the end. I guess I had hope._

_It's been a long time since I let myself really feel anything. It's just easier that way, you know? But this… this broke my heart. It's the worst things in life that are so unpredictable. _

_We've both felt that moment of your entire world changing in a split second. I guess that's why I relate to you._

_I know you're probably gone by now. But I'm going to keep your diary anyway. You stopped writing down your feelings hoping they'd disappear. I think I'll try the opposite. _

_Because I know ignoring them doesn't make them go away._

_Wish me luck?_

_Sincerely,_

_me_

Brittany sat for a few seconds, indifferent. This at least explained how a very old diary had come to be sitting in a coffee shop in New York over seventy years after it'd been written. Whoever this person was must have left it there. This new stranger seemed to have a sad story to tell too. Brittany wondered if they'd left the journal on accident or if they'd left it on purpose, choosing to follow in Maggie's footsteps and get rid of it. Intrigued once more by this very mysterious old book, she turned the page. Sure enough, there was another entry by this new writer. It was dated for about a week after the first entry.

_Dear Maggie,_

_I tried to find you. I tried to find out who you were and what happened to you. I checked every record of who owned this place all the way from when it was built. No Maggie, Margaret, or Magdalene has ever been on the deed. Nor has there been a Grace for that matter. I really wanted to know how your life turned out. I also really wanted to know how your diary came to be here. I feel disappointed that I'll probably never know._

_I quit my job today. It was just time to move on. I think I'm gonna take some time off for a while though. I think maybe I need it. Who knows, maybe it will help?_

_I thought getting a new place would help. So far, no such luck. The nightmares are getting worse. I think I'm going to drive myself crazy if they don't stop soon. Maybe I'm a little crazy already._

_After all, I am writing to a person who I've never met and who is also probably dead._

_So I think maybe I'll stop now._

_But I'll come back._

_Sincerely,_

_me_

Again, the blonde sat for a few seconds, staring at the page. Did she really have nothing more interesting going on in her life or was this journal just that freaking intriguing? Did everyone who wrote in it have to have a sad story? It sure looked that way. Maybe it was magic. Maybe it was full of sad, tragic magic.

Brittany smiled at her own internal rhyming before she turned the page and continued again. A month had gone by now.

_Dear Maggie,_

_Thanksgiving is approaching. I hate the holidays. Really, I hate them. They only serve as reminders now. And I spend them alone._

_On a brighter note, the nightmares have almost completely gone. But that might have something to do with the fact that I stopped sleeping as much._

_Did I mention I started drinking?_

_I am so pathetic._

_Sincerely,_

_me_

Brittany finished reading and narrowed her eyes at the small handwriting. Something about these entries from this stranger was nagging at the back of her mind. But she couldn't quite put her finger on why. A little more hastily now, she began reading again. The next entry was written on Christmas day this past year.

_Dear Maggie,_

_Merry Christmas? There. I said it once. It still counts even if it's bitter right?_

_Christmas is the worst. It just reminds me of them. Ever since the accident I just… I just can't be happy celebrating holidays anymore. It wouldn't be fair to be happy. It wouldn't be fair to celebrate a holiday that they can't._

_I think I'll start looking for another job soon. Taking time off didn't really help as much as I thought it would. I'm getting bored with nothing to do. It makes me think about them more._

_Plus I hardly sleep at all now, and that doesn't help._

_I think I need to go back to having something to consume my time. And my thoughts._

_If you're still here in this miserable world, I hope your Christmas was better than mine._

_Sincerely,_

_me_

Brittany cocked her head to the side and frowned. What is it with people not sleeping in this city? She remembered thinking how sad it was that Santana never slept. Now she could see maybe it wasn't that uncommon. Or maybe the sadness was just spreading.

This person sure didn't seem like a stranger to that particular emotion.

Yes. Apparently the sadness was spreading. Brittany turned and continued. Now they were into January.

_Dear Maggie,_

_I got a new job today. I start next week. To be honest, I wasn't expecting to find one this quickly. And I definitely wasn't expecting this place to hire me. But I guess a spot unexpectedly opened up and they want me so why not?_

_I reread your story. I don't know why I wanted to. Really, there's enough depression already in my life. But I did. Maggie, I'm so sorry. I wish I could change what happened to you. I can't help but desperately hope you found someone to make you happy. Like she did._

_I hate not knowing. I hate not knowing what happened to you because I need to know if there's a way to find happiness again after everything else falls apart._

_It's been almost three years. It still hurts like it was yesterday._

_Maggie, I'm tired of being sad._

_Wish me luck for next week, wherever you are._

_Sincerely,_

_me_

Brittany paused again, looking at the handwriting. She narrowed her eyes again, tracing her fingers over the letters. The nagging feeling in the back of her mind was starting to become more concrete. It was starting to take shape in the form of an idea. An absurd idea, but an idea nonetheless. But no… this couldn't possibly be…

She thought about the timeline. The dates of the entries. Shaking her head to clear her mind, she began again. The entry was dated for the following week.

_Dear Maggie,_

_I'm sitting at my new desk. My first day has definitely been interesting. There hasn't been too much to do yet, but my office is organized and I expect to start seeing clients again soon._

_You know I have a receptionist now? I requested not to have one… but I suppose that isn't the way it works here. She's very… interesting. Okay fine. She's hot as hell. Not that it matters._

_She was flustered the second I met her. It was quite entertaining._

_She also confuses me. I get the feeling she may actually be one of those people who's genuinely just a good person. I didn't realize those still existed._

_Sincerely,_

_me_

Brittany flipped rapidly, threatening to rip the age-old pages. The next entry wasn't long after the last one.

_Dear Maggie,_

_I don't know what's going on with me. I've only known her a few days. But I can't not look at her. I look forward to her arrival every morning just so I can look at her. Is that weird?_

_Okay. It's weird._

_She just… lets me think less about them. I have no idea why. But it means I hurt less._

_I dunno what it is about her. She just smiles and it's like she really means it. And she looks at me like… I don't know… like she's trying to figure me out._

_How disappointed she would be if she did._

_You know she brought me lunch today even though I told her I didn't want any? I think I actually said thank you. Me. If you knew me better, you'd know I don't do that. I rarely have anyone to thank anyway, but still._

_Either way, the soup was delicious._

_Sincerely,_

_me_

The blonde sat bolt upright in her bed, the journal lying open in her lap.

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

She knew it now. If before she suspected and then immediately discarded the idea, she now knew it to be true. This journal had belonged to Maggie. And from hand to hand it had apparently passed through the years, until it had finally landed with her. And before Brittany, it had belonged to someone else who had left it in a coffee shop. Someone Brittany had seen in that coffee shop before.

It had belonged to Santana Lopez.

Brittany let her eyes rove over the page again, rereading words she now knew to be about her. After a few seconds worth of stunned silence, she greedily flipped the page and continued.

_Dear Maggie,_

_I don't know what the winters were like where you lived, or if you even lived here at some point in your life, but when it snows in New York… it snows. A storm blew in today. I wasn't too worried about it… snow doesn't usually stop people here. But it was a big one. The building I work in lost power it was so bad. I was going to wait it out, get some more work done._

_I really hate going home to nothing. Plus she's here._

_But she thought it was only going to get worse. So we decided to go home._

_Of course, that was after she forced me to look out the window of my very high up office at the stupid snowflakes._

_Okay. Maybe she didn't force me. Maybe I just wanted to be closer to her. And the snowflakes weren't stupid. They were actually kind of neat._

_She held onto me while we watched. I enjoyed that a lot more than I should have._

_She took me to her place afterward, refusing to let me drive home in the storm. I have to admit, I didn't fight her very hard._

_I fell asleep on her shoulder tonight. Actually fell asleep. No nightmares. I just slept. I woke up feeling better than I have in weeks. And now I know I'm in dangerous territory. I shouldn't feel this way about her._

_I wanted to kiss her tonight too._

_Yes. I'm in trouble._

_Sincerely,_

_me_

Brittany smiled at the little book in her hands. She remembered that night with distinct clarity. It was quite satisfying to see Santana's words there, revealing feelings she'd never told Brittany. Flipping once more, she continued on.

_Dear Maggie,_

_I don't know what I've gotten myself into. She knows I want her now. Even worse, I know she wants me. It's all I can think about. I never thought I'd feel this much desire for another person. I never thought I'd feel this much about anything in general. And now I have to stop myself every time. Because she looks at me with these blue eyes. Blue eyes that are unlike all other blue eyes. And she has this smile. And she touches me and I just fall apart a little bit. I just want to give in._

_All I can do is hope I won't._

_God what is happening to me?_

_Sincerely,_

_Me_

The blonde flips again. A short entry.

_Dear Maggie,_

_I really love it when she stutters. That is all._

_Sincerely,_

_me_

The blonde smiled again. She remembered how nervous Santana used to make her. She always knew Santana enjoyed that way too much. She flipped again, and this time she found herself truly disappointed.

She was staring at her own writing. She supposed she finally made it to the point where the journal had fallen into her possession. Brittany frowned. She had really been enjoying reading Santana's feelings about her. Hastily, she flipped back to the beginning and reread all of the feelings that had never been said to her.

By the time she finished the second time, she hadn't exactly gleaned any more information out of Santana's entries than she had the first time. It was beyond gratifying to read those last entries. And it was saddening and confusing to read the beginning ones.

What accident had Santana been talking about? She'd never mentioned an accident to her before. And who did she keep referring to? Surely this is why she was so distant. So mysterious. This is what happened to her to make her bitter.

Brittany gently closed the book in her hands and sat for just a few seconds, quickly deciding what she wanted to do. She looked over her shoulder at the alarm clock on the nightstand. It was nearly 7 in the morning. She couldn't believe she'd stayed up all night reading old journal entries.

She couldn't believe Santana's thoughts and feelings had been with her this whole time. Sitting casually hidden in an old diary from the 1940's.

Her eyelids felt heavy, and her eyes were sore from all the reading, but the rest of her was very, very much awake. Getting out of bed, she quickly changed into a pair of jeans and a light sweater.

Santana would be there already. She knew it.

Throwing on a pair of flip flops and grabbing her keys, she ran back to her bedroom and snatched up the journal. In just a few seconds, she was out the door.

The walk to their office building seemed longer. Brittany's long legs were carrying her quickly, but the walk seemed longer. When she finally pushed her way through the revolving glass doors, her heart was beating quickly. Both from excitement and exertion.

The elevator took its sweet time coming down after she'd hit the button, and again as they ascended to the 17th floor. The doors had not even fully opened when Brittany flew out of it, counting down the seconds til she would make this right.

Turning the last corner, she walked straight into Santana's office without any preamble. Santana had barely lifted her beautiful head before Brittany spoke.

"Don't say anything. Just let me talk, please."

Santana closed her mouth and waited. And Brittany paused too. She had been so impatient in getting over here she hadn't really given much thought to what she was going to say. She took a deep breath and just hoped for the best.

"Last night, I went out with my friend Christine. I've told you about her before. I told her I was upset because there was this girl. And I happened to have fallen in love with this girl. But I was sad because I thought it might be over before it even really began."

Santana didn't react. Her face was completely expressionless. Brittany pressed on.

"So, I got drunk. It was the only thing I could think to do that might actually make me feel a little better. And that's because it would make me feel less all together. I'm guessing that's something you could understand."

The brunette clinched her jaw and remained silent. But by her facial expression now, Brittany guessed she'd just thought the word 'touché.'

Another deep breath.

"Santana, I got drunk because I couldn't handle what had happened between us. Everything was fine, well actually it was phenomenal, until all of a sudden it wasn't anymore. And I tried to let it pass. But it didn't, and I missed you. And I got so sad I just needed to take one night away from it."

Santana was now looking at her like she understood exactly what Brittany was trying to say.

"And I got home, and you were there. But you left before I could explain. So I'm here now. I wasn't out partying. I wasn't going out and not missing you. I missed you every day. I was miserable. And I don't want to be miserable anymore. And I'm not going to let you push this away. Because you have feelings for me too. This proves it."

Brittany lifted the journal, which she'd kept down by her side the entire time she was talking. Taking one look at it, Santana's eyes widened and she opened her mouth to speak again.

"Wait, please."

She placed the journal on the edge of Santana's desk and pushed it forward. She found it odd how much she kinda didn't want to give it up.

"I found this a long time ago. I just found out this morning that it used to be yours. I read everything you wrote. You have feelings for me."

Santana slowly reached forward and took it. She let her fingertips run over the soft leather cover much the same way Brittany always did.

"What I don't understand is why you're trying to push them away now. I'm guessing it has something to do with whatever you were writing about in the beginning. Before you started to write about me."

The brunette looked down and started to flick through the pages. She let it fall open to Brittany's first entry.

"Yes, I wrote in it too. It's all about you. You can read it, I'm not ashamed," she said in explanation to Santana's questioning look.

"So I'm going to leave you with it now. Read what I wrote if you want. It'll be up to you to decide what to do after that. But Santana, please don't throw this away. I now know from your entries that you don't like it for anything to mean anything to you, but I'd really like to mean something to you. So I hope you decide that I do."

Brittany gave Santana one last fleeting glance, and then turned around and walked back out. She prayed with every fiber of her being that Santana wouldn't make her wait this time.

* * *

Staying up all night sure is a lot harder as an adult than it is as a teenager. When Brittany got back to her apartment, she finally felt a night without sleep catching up to her. Throwing herself onto the couch, she fell asleep almost instantly. She was still in the middle of her nap when she heard it. A soft noise just loud enough to interrupt her dreams. Opening her eyes, Brittany looked around for the source. The light coming in through her living room window was soft and golden. It could still be early morning or it could be late afternoon. She had no idea how long she'd been asleep. Glancing at her phone it was just past 3:30 PM. Wow, she'd slept all day. And there it was again, the soft sound that had woken her up in the first place. Now that she was awake, she realized the noise was a knock at her front door.

She shot off the couch so quickly the room actually went fuzzy for a split second. Getting her bearings, she grabbed the doorknob, took a deep breath, and opened the door.

This is how it should have happened last time. Santana was standing there, looking confused and uncomfortable, but she was here.

"You came."

The brunette nodded and sighed.

"I'm sorry it took me so long," she said quietly.

Brittany nodded. Now what?

She was spared the task of finding something else to say when Santana spoke again.

"You do mean something to me, Brittany. You do."

The blonde wanted to believe it. Wanted to find joy and contentment in Santana's words. But there was one thing she needed to clear up first.

"It's hard to believe you, Santana. You just left me. With nothing. Like everything we've shared meant nothing. Like it didn't affect you at all."

Santana sighed again and hung her head. When she looked up, Brittany thought maybe a fresh tear was welling in her eye.

"Brittany, everything you do affects me. Every moment leaves an imprint. I'm sorry I didn't do a better job of showing you that."

Brittany played with the hem of her shirt for a moment, trying not to smile at Santana's words.

Santana clearly thought she hadn't said enough to prove her words. Reaching forward, she took Brittany's hands from twisting away into her shirt.

"Look at me."

Brittany looked into brown eyes and waited. Santana sighed again.

"I met you on a Tuesday. You were wearing red and I was rude to you," she said quietly, smiling at Brittany like it was a fond memory. Brittany remembered as well.

"But I quickly found out that I didn't really want to be rude to you. That for some reason, I didn't think you deserved it."

She gave Brittany's hand a gentle squeeze before continuing.

"I fell asleep on your shoulder on a Monday, waiting out a snow storm. I was wearing your clothes and they smelled just like you. And you let me sleep there, curled up on you."

Now Brittany was truly working hard to suppress her smile. Santana continued again relentlessly.

"On a Saturday, you rescued me from myself, getting drunk in my own office. You didn't judge. You just held my hand as we walked down the street. I knew I wouldn't be satisfied after that just being your boss."

She paused here and smiled again, thinking about some new memory.

"On a different Monday, you kissed me for the first time against a door. It felt so damn good to finally know what your lips would be like against mine. I remember begging my knees to keep holding me up."

Santana now looked up, her smile was gone.

"Weeks passed. Things progressed. And on a Thursday I finally admitted to myself that I'd fallen in love. With you. We were on a rooftop, a place I'd never imagined myself being, and I was in love with you."

Brittany finally couldn't fight it anymore. Her lips pulled into a smile and she stroked a thumb across Santana's hand reassuringly. Santana didn't return the smile but kept going.

"And then on a Friday, I screwed everything up. Because you told me you loved me, and I didn't say it back. And I wish so badly that I had. You deserved so much more than my abandonment."

Santana's expression of sadness left Brittany wondering where that left them. Where they stood now.

"Finally, on a Wednesday morning, you turned in a diary I thought I'd lost forever."

Santana's voice lowered to barely above a whisper when she next spoke.

"I read what you wrote, Brittany. I can't believe I was ever stupid enough to push you away. So I'm here now, hoping desperately I can fix the mistakes. Because you deserve so much more than mistakes. You deserve for someone to tell you they love you back when you say it. And so I hope I'm not too late when I say that I love you too."

Santana closed her eyes for a moment and took a huge breath. Like she'd just finished the speech of her lifetime. Brittany stood there in shock for just a few seconds before she took it all in.

Santana Lopez had just told her she loved her. What the hell was she doing standing here?

Pulling her hands free, she captured Santana's face. In any other moment, she'd find the surprised look there comical. Completely ignoring it now, she leaned in and finally pressed her lips to Santana's. Yes. This is how it was supposed to go.

After only a second, she pulled back and smiled. And finally, Santana gave her that rare radiant smile she reserved just for Brittany.

"Can I come in now?" she asked quietly, and Brittany knew Santana was fighting the urge to throw a smirk in her direction.

Brittany thought for a moment. As happy as she was, she thought the time had finally arrived. It was time for answers.

"Yes, but on one condition."

Santana looked relieved.

"Anything."

Brittany gathered her courage.

"I want to know what happened to you. I want to know what you were writing about in the journal."

Santana looked down at the ground, the smile from before was completely gone. When she looked back up, it was as though she'd had to gather a bit of courage for herself.

"Fine, I'll tell you everything."

The blonde stood back and let Santana pass. Closing the door behind her, she joined her love on the sofa.

The time for answers was now.

* * *

**i don't count this as a cliffhanger. ok maybe it is, but it ended happy so that makes it okay i hope :) leave comments as always!**

**and to answer the many many times i've been asked, yes santana was looking for the journal the morning after brittany found it. also, if you look back in the very beginning, santana was writing in it when brittany found her in the coffee shop that morning.**

**thanks so much for reading!**


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: before you get TOO disappointed at the length... the reason i've done this is because i wanted the chapter for answers to be a stand alone chapter. all the other chapters from here on out will resume their regular length.**

**also, to answer a question i've received a few times... no the shower scene was not their first hook up. that would just be plain mean of me.**

**next, as i've said before i tend to think of this story in segments... so this chapter is the ending to this particular segment. but i still have a good bit to go (i hope that's okay with everyone!)**

**Lastly, and most importantly-as always thank you. i absolutely can't thank you enough for your feedback and sticking with this story. it means a lot :) i know i always say it... but really, all the follows and favorites and reviews and tweets... they warm my heart every time.**

* * *

At least an hour had passed. Okay, maybe it had only been a few seconds… but for once the silence was torture. Brittany sat facing Santana on the couch, willing patience to come. Willing Santana to speak.

She was losing on both accounts.

The brunette stared back at Brittany, sadness etched all over her beautiful face. But as Brittany looked into her eyes, she swore she saw a bit of resolution behind the sadness.

Just before the silence finally became unbearable, Santana broke eye contact and sighed. Brittany hoped that meant she was ready now.

"You want to know everything. The truth," she stated flatly, reiterating why they were here. The blonde waited still, not wanting to push too quickly.

She sighed again and looked back up.

"The truth is that three years ago this May, I was graduating law school from a top notch university. I was at the top of my class, I had friends. I had a girlfriend. I never drank unless I was at a party. It's weird, even to me, to think about how I was back then. I was happy in my naivety. I had no barriers, no walls. I wasn't guarded. I wasn't jaded."

She paused here and looked down again. Brittany waited, both impatient for the rest of the story, and yet not quite sure she wanted Santana to go on now. She knew whatever Santana was about to say wouldn't be easy. She knew it would be painful. Probably for both of them. Before she was entirely sure she was ready for the rest of it, Santana continued.

"The rest of the truth is that three years ago this May, on the same day of my graduation, I lost my mom, dad, and brother in a car accident."

Brittany gasped, her jaw agape. She automatically moved forward on the sofa to take the woman's hand.

"Santana… I—I'm so sorry."

God, those words weren't enough. Not even close. But the return of pressure from Santana's fingers made her think maybe they were appreciated.

"They were on their way to see me walk across the stage. Receive my diploma. I remember not seeing them in the crowd… but there were so many people. I assumed I just overlooked them."

Brittany sat in horror, imagining a younger Santana in a cap and gown. Looking for a family she didn't know had left her forever.

"After the ceremony was over, I obviously tried finding them. It was my day… I couldn't believe they weren't right there waiting on me. I remember being angry at them. And I'd left my cell phone in my car because I obviously didn't have any pockets, so I couldn't call to see where they were."

Santana's voice was starting to tremble. The first tear was making its way down her face. Brittany didn't want to hear any more. She didn't want to, but she knew there was more. She knew Santana wasn't done.

"Finally I was the last graduate left there. I was alone, and they weren't there. It didn't even occur to me to panic. I was just angry. When I got to my car, there were several missed calls from my dad, one from a number I didn't recognize, and a voicemail. I called my dad back first, sure that the voicemail was from him, explaining where they were. I got no answer, which made me even angrier. So I listened to the voicemail."

She paused again. Brittany was sure Santana was hearing that voicemail again in her head.

"It was the hospital that my family had been taken to. They wouldn't tell me anything over the phone. Just said I needed to come there. I knew it was bad. And so I drove."

More tears were falling now. Brittany could feel her own heart breaking listening to this.

"They told me when I got there. Another driver ran a red light. My parents and brother were pronounced dead at the scene. I don't think any of them… felt much pain."

And now Brittany felt the hot, wet track left behind by the first tear rolling down her cheek. It landed on the couch cushion to join Santana's.

"The missed calls from my dad were actually from the paramedic. He was just dialing the last number that had been called on that phone. They finally looked up next of kin at the hospital. Even now that moment is still surreal to me. My whole family was just—gone. In the course of one second I went from having a loving family to having no one."

Brittany couldn't stand it anymore. She closed the last remaining inches between them and pulled Santana into her arms. The contact, it seemed, pushed away the last of Santana's remaining composure. In seconds, Brittany's t-shirt was soaked through with Santana's tears. This was most helpless she'd ever felt, holding Santana as she wept silently in her arms.

Minutes passed by before she spoke again, and when she did she directed her words right into the crook of Brittany's neck where she'd buried herself.

"I'm sorry." Her words were muffled and her voice was broken. It made Brittany feel even worse.

"Why are you apologizing?" Brittany asked, bewildered.

Santana leaned back and this time used her own shirt sleeve to wipe away the wetness.

"I ruined your shirt."

Brittany shook her head and offered a small smile.

"Silly girl," she whispered as she leaned in and kissed Santana's cheek. It was salty from her tears.

"You haven't ruined anything."

The woman sat in silence for a few minutes, seemingly lost in her own thoughts. Brittany kept holding on to Santana's hand. She thought about her own parents. She thought about her own brother. How traumatizing it'd be to one day be told they were gone and weren't coming back. Never see their smiles again, feel her father and mother hug her and welcome her home. Hear Josh's laugh. She shook her head. It was too hard to think about even the possibility.

"My friends, my girlfriend… they tried to be there for me. Tried to help me. But I just, I dunno… shut down. My family was dead. And they died on their way to see me. I couldn't help but feel that guilt. Feel responsible that they were gone."

Brittany felt another wave of shock roll over her at these words. Everything was starting to make more and more sense now. No wonder Santana didn't allow herself to be happy.

"That wasn't your fault," Brittany said quietly. She hated the idea of Santana bearing all the guilt over something she couldn't control.

Santana nodded. "Logically, you're right. But logic doesn't stop you from feeling the emptiness left behind. They died on their way to see me. All the logic in the world won't stop me from feeling responsible."

She paused again, and Brittany knew there was no argument that would change her mind.

"Anyway… after I got my license to practice law, I threw myself into work. My friends all thought I should take some time off but I just couldn't. They'd died to come see me turn into a lawyer. So I decided I was going to be the best."

Another pause. A bitter smile was pulling at the corner of her lips.

"I guess at some point they just… gave up on me. And I guess I don't exactly blame them. Nobody wants to be friends with a recluse. My girlfriend broke up with me. Eventually my friends stopped calling to check on me. And one day I just sort of realized I was really, really alone. I'd lost everything."

And Brittany's heart was breaking again. How many times can one heart break in a day? There wasn't anything she could say to make this even slightly better. No words came. She was just there, useless as Santana relived a real life nightmare.

"So I worked for a while, trying to take up as much time in my day as possible. The more distracted I was the better. I pushed everyone away. I hated the looks of pity from my friends. I didn't need it from strangers. In a way, it worked for me. I, at least, was functional. But I still had the nightmares at night. Hearing the doctor tell me over and over again they were dead. Eventually, as you know, I stopped sleeping almost completely."

Brittany nodded, seeing Santana's entries in the journal cross through her mind.

"As you also know, I got rid of my old place and moved into the condo. I thought maybe a new place would help. Instead of coming back to the same place I'd cried myself to sleep in for months… I thought maybe it'd be different in a place not associated with those memories. That obviously didn't work."

Brittany squeezed Santana's hand gently again. She decided she really wouldn't be able to make it better, but she at least wanted Santana to know she was there.

"And you know I did eventually quit my job. Finally took the advice of long lost friends. That really didn't help. I did nothing but dwell on it. Just played that day over and over and over."

Brittany leaned in again and once more wrapped Santana in her arms. They rocked back in forth ever so slightly, with Brittany running her fingers through Santana's dark locks.

"He'd be turning 22 this year," she said quietly into Brittany's shoulder. "God, I still miss him. I never got to buy him a drink for his 21st birthday. I didn't get to see him live. He was coming to watch me graduate with a law degree and he'd barely made it out of high school. It kills me."

Brittany felt fresh tears dampen her shoulder, and she felt tears of her own threaten to spill over.

"My parents were supposed to grow old together. They were so happy. They loved us so much. I hate that they can't see me now. They would have loved you."

The blonde smiled and placed a quick kiss to Santana's temple.

The woman then took another breath and continued the story.

"So eventually I got a new job, but of course you know the rest from there."

Brittany sat for a minute, frowning. She felt rather disheartened that Santana didn't elaborate more.

"I don't."

She looked up at Santana, who looked confused.

"What?"

Brittany sighed. "I don't know the rest. I know you let yourself like me. I know I'm the only one who lets you sleep. I know you fell in love with me even though you probably didn't want to. What I don't know is why. Why did you let yourself like me in the first place? Why am I the one that you can somehow fall asleep next to so easily? Why, after three years, am I the one you fell in love with? Not that I'm complaining... you are pretty much the best thing that's ever happened to me."

Brittany heard the words tumbling out of her mouth and it struck her all over again that Santana was in love with her too.

But now Santana was the one frowning.

"Honestly, I'm not really sure why. It was like I just couldn't help it. Liking you, spending time with you, falling in love with you… it was just something out of my control. It scared the shit out of me… and pretty much still does a little… especially when I realized I was really starting to like those feelings. With you… it seemed like it was finally okay again to feel happy. And then of course I realized how happy you made me, which I inevitably reacted to by pushing you away. Because I'm an asshole. I can't believe I did that. What if I had lost you?"

Brittany chuckled in spite of herself. Santana may be bruised, jaded, hesitant, and stubborn, but she was also badly in need of someone to love her. Brittany didn't want anything other than to be the person who loved Santana.

"You aren't an asshole."

The look Santana gave her suggested she thought otherwise, but she didn't contest it.

"I knew I'd eventually have to tell you. I'm sorry it wasn't sooner. And I'm sorry you had to find out because you found an old journal I'd written in, instead of me just telling you myself. I knew I needed to. I've known for a long time I wanted to keep you."

And all the pieces of Brittany's broken heart were being pulled back together by the magical force that was Santana's voice.

"Santana, don't worry over being happy with me. Just be happy. Don't worry that I'll leave you," she said steadily. "I want you to keep me too."

The brunette leaned in, and the smell of her perfume came with her. Brittany breathed her in, and looked into brown eyes. Tears sat on her lashes, growing larger until they finally spilled over, following the path of all the ones before them. Still, she was heartbreakingly beautiful. No amount of tear tracks would change that. Smiling to herself, Brittany closed the remaining space and let her lips barely brush Santana's. It was the kind of kiss Brittany hoped to experience over and over again. Perfect in its short simplicity.

Leaning back out again, she was happy to see the tiniest of smiles forming on Santana's lips.

Brittany thought back to the conversations she'd had with Santana about her family. Tried to remember if there had ever been any indication that this was the reason behind everything. She thought back to one of their very first personal conversations, sitting in this apartment and having dinner.

"I thought you told me your family was still back in Chicago?" she said with another frown, remembering the moment Santana had said that's where she was from.

The woman looked down and cleared her throat, as if caught in a white lie.

"I actually said they were from there, not that Chicago is where they still are," she said awkwardly. "Though technically it's true. That's where I had them buried."

Brittany felt a sharp pain in her heart at those words, and knew it must be even worse for Santana.

"Do you go back, ever?"

Santana shook her head, still looking down.

"Not since—not since the funerals," she said huskily. "Not much point, either. I have no other family. I don't want to buy a plane ticket just to look at the graves of my dead parents and brother."

Her words were so harshly spoken. But it was understandable. Brittany wasn't sure she'd go back for just that either.

"Santana, I am sorry. I'm so sorry this happened to you."

The woman nodded before speaking.

"I know you are. Like I wrote in the journal, you're just one of those genuinely good people. It's probably why you're my kryptonite. I can't not love you."

That was probably one of the best things Brittany had ever heard.

Sighing, she leaned back into the couch and closed her eyes. She was suddenly exhausted all over again.

"Are you okay?" Santana asked quietly, settling herself into Brittany's side.

"Mmm hmm, just tired," she whispered back. "Emotions have been all over the past week, and especially all over today. It catches up with you."

She felt soft fingertips start tracing lines down her arm as they lay there.

"I know. I'm sorry."

Brittany laughed again.

"Stop apologizing. We're here now."

She opened her eyes and looked down at Santana. She was perfectly happy with where here was.

"Now, I vote we put a movie in and instantly fall asleep. How do you feel about that?"

And now Santana was the one laughing, but she agreed all the same.

After the movie was put in and started, Santana resumed her spot cuddled up into Brittany's side.

"Hey Brittany?"

"Mmm?" the blonde replied, still looking at the screen.

"I love you, again. I just wanted to say it."

Brittany smiled. There was no higher happiness.

"I love you again, Santana."

The movie played on. The world kept spinning just the same.

But Brittany… well, she'd be happy never to move again.

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**leave a comment if you're feeling kind :) the following update won't take as long. promise.**


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: have i mentioned you all are awesome? thanks for the reviews to my last chapter. I see that some of you were relieved there was no ex-lover involved... no worries... there will be no grief over any ex lovers in my version of brittana. i hope you like this one. i tried to get it up more quickly, as promised. hope everyone has a good week :)**

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"Are you sleeping?" Brittany asked quietly as she squeezed the brunette's shoulders. The movie was ending, and Santana was still comfortably lodged next to Brittany. She hadn't moved much throughout, and judging by her deep breathing, she'd stopped watching the movie long ago. Of course, that didn't bother Brittany one bit. Anyone who could be bothered holding Santana Lopez was crazy.

Brittany began stroking her fingertips lightly over Santana's shoulder, trying to rouse her gently. Her skin was as smooth as ever.

Turning her head inward, and without speaking, Santana surprised her with an open mouthed kiss right in the space where her neck meets her shoulder. It was ridiculous how much pleasure she could deliver with one simple act. And Brittany felt her lazy complacency shift easily into alert arousal.

"Mmm… hi," Santana said sleepily into her neck, her voice low and rough. She continued trailing kisses over Brittany's neck almost painfully slowly. Her full lips were warm and wet against Brittany's skin.

"Did you—did you enjoy your nap?" Brittany replied quietly, trying to remain speaking in full sentences for as long as possible. Subjects and verbs. She can do this.

"Feels so good," she added quickly before Santana could even respond. Fuck maybe whole sentences were out already.

Santana's lips pulled into a smile against the skin of her neck and she laughed as she continued to roam. The vibrations definitely added to the pleasure. With a final kiss against the sensitive area at the back of Brittany's jaw, Santana pulled back with a triumphant grin.

"Have I mentioned how much I love waking up to you?"

Brittany smiled at the woman she loved. She could feel her heart beat all the way down to her fingertips. Well, actually, farther down than that.

"Have I mentioned how much I like you waking up to me?"

Santana's grin shifted into Brittany's very favorite, very mischievous grin.

"Not in so many words…"

With that, she leaned back into the couch, and pulled her legs up to lay across Brittany's lap. With one arm behind her head, and the other casually lying across her stomach, she looked perfectly at ease. Brittany felt a squirm of pleasure in her own stomach at how comfortable Santana looked lying on her couch. They just lay there looking at each other, no words needed for such contentment.

"What are you thinking?" Brittany asked quietly after a few minutes. She wished she had constant access to Santana's thoughts.

"Mmm, lots of things," she said airily, looking up at the ceiling.

Brittany couldn't stand it. All the space. She needed more of Santana in her immediate vicinity. She used both hands to gently spread Santana's legs apart, and was happy to find that Santana complied without hesitation. Twisting her body over, she let herself rest in between Santana's legs, her head landing perfectly over Santana's heart. Unlike hers, it was beating steadily. It was oddly comforting, listening to Santana's heart in the silence.

"Why don't you tell me one of the things?" Brittany asked, still resting her head. She closed her eyes when she felt nimble fingers start to comb through her hair. Was there any physical contact Santana wasn't good at?

"Well, right now I'm thinking how much I really like you laying on top of me. That your hair is really soft. And that you should probably lay on me much more often."

Brittany smirked. The woman had a point.

"Noted. And what were you thinking about before now?" Santana's heart beat on steadily. Brittany could lay here all evening listening to it.

Santana sighed again. This time it was less sad and more… resolute? If a sigh can be resolute.

"I was thinking about them. My family. I wish you could have met them."

Brittany lay for a few seconds without speaking. What do you say to something so sad?

Leaning up, she went with her gut instinct and prayed it wasn't the worst thing to say.

"Do you want to tell me about them? Tell me what they were like?"

She tried judging Santana's reaction, but the woman had a poker face like no other. Her eyes remained neutral, and she continued playing with Brittany's hair. Letting one hand drop to the collar of Brittany's shirt, Santana dragged her finger across the skin just above it. Her eyes followed her finger.

"Even I try not to think of them too much. It hurts to remember."

Brittany looked down. Santana's pain was like a sudden stab to the heart every time she said something like that. But Brittany had been her antidote so far. She hoped she would continue to be.

"I understand that. And if you don't want to talk about them then don't. I only want you to share what you're comfortable with. But to me… I guess I'd rather feel the hurt of missing them, than to wake up one morning and hurt because I can't remember them anymore. My brother's smile, my dad's laugh, my mom's smell… I'd never want to forget any of that."

She looked up to see Santana watching her. She was looking at her as if considering her words carefully. Like it was an idea she'd never contemplated before.

"Like I said," Brittany continued, feeling that Santana wasn't quite there yet, "if you wanna talk to me when you're ready… I'd love to hear about them. I'd want to meet them too. Until then… don't be afraid to remember them Santana. Memories are how we hold on to the best things in life. How we keep those things in our hearts forever, even though the moment itself is gone."

Santana nodded, the ghost of a smile threatening to spread across her face. But it was gone before it really truly appeared.

"And what about the bad memories? The ones we'd rather not have?"

Brittany thought again for a moment. She wanted to make sure she got the words right.

"We just need to try to have more good than bad. So when a bad moment comes, when you feel sad, when you miss them, you can pull out something good."

Feeling like she was on the right track, she leaned on one elbow, and with the other hand took the top button to Santana's shirt between her fingers.

"For example, how would you feel if one morning you woke up and couldn't remember our first kiss?"

She unbuttoned the first button of Santana's shirt, and Santana watched with rapt attention.

"How would you feel if you didn't remember exactly how it felt to be pushed against that door, to be my prisoner until I was ready to let you go?"

Brittany let her fingers fall to the second button and paused, wanting very much to drag this out.

"What if you couldn't remember exactly how it felt the first time you felt my lips against yours? Or against your neck? What if you couldn't remember my hands on your waist?"

Just as easily as the first, she unbuttoned the second button. Santana's face was a little less expressionless now, yet she still didn't speak.

"I'm hoping, of course, that this is in fact as good a memory for you as it is for me. Or am I being too presumptuous?"

She pushed the material of the top of the shirt out of the way, and let her fingers connect with the smooth skin of Santana's chest. She glided over angular collar bones, the swell of perfect breasts, the valley between. It gave her much satisfaction to feel Santana's chest rising and falling in quicker succession.

"Um… not… being presumptuous. Good… good memory."

Brittany smiled and removed her hand. She loved these rare moments when Santana lost a little composure.

"And what if you couldn't remember the snow storm? Standing there with me. Waking up to me for the first time. What if you couldn't remember the wind in your hair on the top of that building? Or how you felt that night we took a shower together? Or my face when I tasted you for the first time?"

She unbuttoned two more buttons as she spoke, grinning down at her with evil satisfaction. There were only two left fastened. Almost her entire torso was exposed. She was wearing her light blue bra again. God it looked good on her.

"I plan on spending a lot of my time kissing you, Santana. But no matter how much time that is, I'm so glad I will always remember those moments with you. Because I think it'd be pretty devastating to lose, don't you?"

Santana nodded as Brittany unclasped the last remaining buttons of her shirt.

Leaning down, the blonde kissed across taut abs. Moving upward, she roamed over the cusps of Santana's breasts, the places gloriously uncovered by the bra. Replacing her lips with her palm, she squeezed lightly at one while moving upward again, to the feverish skin of Santana's neck. Reaching her ear, Brittany let her body rest against Santana's before concluding her very drawn out example.

"This, right here, right now… this feeling," she whispered quietly, knowing Santana was hanging on to every syllable, "This is one of those moments I hope both of us always carry with us. Never forget how you feel right now. How you felt as I unbuttoned your shirt and kissed you."

Santana's eyes locked with hers, and Brittany knew that right now, Santana was just as captivated by her as she usually was with Santana.

"And when the time comes," she continued, lowering her head back down to whisper in Santana's ear again, "I'm going to make love to you. And you and I will both remember that moment forever. You can save it for a rainy day."

Santana's breathing was becoming more erratic. And her chest was brushing against Brittany's with each inhale.

"Jesus, Brittany. What are you doing to me?"

Brittany smiled. Satisfaction, yes.

"The same thing you do to me pretty much every time you touch me. I guess I learned from the best."

The fingers that had been tangling in her hair now moved down to her back, pressing her body further into Santana's.

"Kiss me."

Brittany followed Santana's command without hesitation. It was only a matter of time before she would have done it on her own.

She brought her lips down to meet Santana's, and that feeling of ecstasy unequal to anything else swept through her. Santana kissed her back with vigor, like she couldn't contain her hunger. Maybe she couldn't. And Brittany realized now that perhaps Santana had been holding back a bit before. This urgency now was just slightly different, probably unnoticeable to anyone who didn't pay attention to kissing as much as Brittany did to Santana kissing her. It was just slightly more unreserved, and yet it crashed through Brittany like a tidal wave. Santana wasn't holding back anymore. She was all Brittany's.

Happy memory indeed.

Brittany let her hands fall by Santana's sides, and with a little pull upward, Santana arched her back into Brittany. Taking advantage of the gap, Brittany slipped her hands underneath the woman, sliding up the smooth skin of her back. Still, she wanted to be closer. Yet she knew she'd have to stop soon. Tonight wasn't their night for this.

Feeling Santana's fingernails scratch across her shoulders at the same time as her tongue gliding along her bottom lip was definitely the easiest way to make Brittany doubt that. She opened her mouth eagerly, loving that Santana was taking a little control back from her. Brittany didn't know how long they continued this dance. There wasn't anything she wanted to stop. Santana's hands exploring her back, fingers tangling in her hair. Brittany lifting her up, her arms securely underneath the woman. She could feel her muscles starting to fatigue, but it was beyond worth it. Any ache she had tomorrow was worth this moment. This memory.

The first moan into Brittany's open mouth was when she knew she needed to stop. One more sound like that and she'd have the rest of the woman's clothes off with lightning speed. Breaking away from her, Brittany loosened her hold on Santana and took a steadying breath.

"We need to stop. I'm about five seconds away from ripping your clothes off."

Santana smirked up at her like that was a pleasing thought.

"Mmm I'd be okay with that, you know."

The blonde closed her eyes. She couldn't even look at Santana when she was looking at her like that.

"You're not making this easy."

Feeling gentle fingers on her cheek, she reopened her eyes and looked back down.

"Don't you want to? We could make that memory tonight," she said as she raised an eyebrow suggestively.

Fuck.

"God, Santana, I do. I do want to. But not tonight. It's been a big night, for both of us. I don't want you to make a decision in the heat of the moment."

The brunette's sly grin changed into a genuine smile, and Brittany knew she'd done the right thing.

"You're probably right. But just for the record, you pull something else like this and I'm just gonna keep throwing myself at you."

Brittany laughed, feeling relieved.

"Noted. And for the record, I'm okay with that."

Giving her sore muscles a bit of a rest from holding herself up, she lay back down, letting her head fall over Santana's heart again. She was very pleased to hear that the steady rhythm from before now sounded just as erratic as hers always felt. Santana wasn't the only one with magic around here.

She lay there for a few minutes, listening to Santana's heartbeat return to normal. And after a few minutes, her usual curiosity was back as well.

"Now what are you thinking?"

She felt Santana chuckle. It was infectious, Brittany found herself smiling just because of it.

"So inquisitive," she said quietly. "Besides thinking about how sexually frustrated you've made me, you mean?"

Now it was Brittany's turn to laugh.

"Yes, besides that."

Santana went back to stroking Brittany's hair before she answered.

"I was actually thinking about the diary. I can't believe you found it. I can't believe we both wrote in it. About each other. It makes me wonder… what would have happened if you'd never found it."

Brittany took a deep breath before answering.

"Some version of what did happen, I'm sure."

"Are you?"

Brittany thought about all that had happened in the last few months. How the journal had played such a key role, for both of them. How it had brought them together.

"Yes. Finding that journal only sped up what I'm sure would have happened anyway. Can't change fate."

Santana continued combing her fingers through Brittany's hair. She was sure she could fall asleep this way.

"Isn't it funny though? I found an old book, a stranger's diary, and it both broke my heart and helped get me to you."

Brittany smiled. She'd never get over the fact that Santana thought of her as a prize.

"Funny…" she repeated, feeling sleepier and sleepier.

"Brittany?"

The change in Santana's voice made Brittany sit up again. She looked at the brunette expectantly.

"What's up?"

She looked like she was lost in thought.

"Brittany… I really want to find Maggie."

She frowned at Santana, wondering how she should respond.

"Santana… I think it's probably a long shot that Maggie is still… around."

Santana looked down. Brittany understood. The thought made her sad too.

"No, I know… I guess what I meant was… I just want to find out what happened to her. I just… want to find out. I hate the possibility of her not being happy forever."

Brittany smiled at her. Santana's compassion for Maggie rivaled her own, perhaps even surpassed it.

"Okay. Let's find out then."

Santana furrowed her eyebrows at her in response.

"What do you mean? How?"

Brittany fixed her with a grin like the answer was obvious.

"We look. The journal has to have a clue we can use. You only checked the past deeds of your condo. There are other avenues you haven't explored. We can figure this out. It's the information age."

Santana's entire expression lit up.

"This is why I love you."

She raised up to give a chaste kiss to Brittany's lips. It made the blonde laugh.

"Why? Because I'm willing to go on a wild goose chase with you?"

She kissed Brittany's lips again. Honestly it was the most excited Brittany had ever seen her. It was fucking adorable.

"Because you're willing to go anywhere with me, first of all. And let me amend my statement. One of the many reasons I love you. And it's because you're the eternal optimist."

Brittany winked at her playfully.

"That's me. Now, where's the journal?"

The returning smile Santana gave her would be enough to melt anyone.

"In my car. I'll be right back. All nighter?"

Brittany laughed again at Santana's enthusiasm. She wondered if this is what she was like in school when she had an assignment.

"If we must. Go get it."

Santana needed no further prompting. She was out the door in seconds. In way less time than Brittany was expecting, she was coming back inside, journal in tow. Brittany smiled again; she must have ran all the way.

"Okay. We can do this."

She plopped back down on the couch and opened it to the first page. And then, right on cue with the college student Brittany was sure she was channeling, she looked up again.

"Coffee?"

The blonde laughed. She loved nerdy Santana.

"Yes. And food. Neither of us has eaten and it's way past dinner time. You start reading. I'll make something to eat for us both."

She got up from the couch and made her way into the kitchen, but not before leaning down and kissing Santana one more time. She loved how Santana looked up at her expectantly, like kissing her was the natural thing to do before leaving the room.

In the kitchen, she put on a pot of coffee and quickly threw together some sandwiches for them both. She didn't think either of them were all that hungry, and if she was being honest… she really wanted to join in the hunt for Maggie's true identity.

"How do you want your coffee?" she asked over the countertop that separated the two rooms.

"Santana looked up from the journal, her eyebrows furrowed again.

"Hmm? Oh… black is fine."

After fixing both cups, she brought them into the living room and set them on the coffee table, followed by the sandwiches.

"Thank you," Santana said quickly, picking up her sandwich without looking away from the journal. Brittany was so amused, Santana could have easily been dissecting a case she looked so serious. The blonde halfway expected her to get up and start pacing.

"Okay… so I'm thinking they were in a southern state."

Brittany nodded. "Okay. Keep going."

Santana flipped back a few pages and let her eyes roam over the words. It was still such an odd thing to Brittany, to see Santana handling the journal. She couldn't quite get used to the idea that Santana had it first. And had probably read it many more times.

"She talks about going to the lake a lot and seeing the fireflies at night. I dunno… it sounds like such a southern state kind of thing. Other than that, I've got nothing yet."

Brittany nodded. This was going to be really hard.

"Maybe I can check the deeds again to the condo. Maybe the last owner was a family member. Or a descendant," Santana continued, speaking out loud her train of thoughts.

Brittany reached over and covered Santana's hand with her own.

"We'll figure it out. Can I see it?"

Santana handed over the journal and within seconds was up and pacing in Brittany's apartment. It really was rather cute.

Looking down at the pages that were becoming very familiar to her, she began re-reading them once more, this time looking for anything that could help them figure this out. Brittany thought maybe Santana had a point with the whole southern state thing. If spending all summer by the lake was the usual summer thing to do, it'd make more sense for them to be a place that got hot.

It was hard separating herself from the story this time. It was hard not sinking into Maggie's story, and it was hard remembering she was on a mission. It was hard battling her ever increasing exhaustion. By the time she got to the turning point of sadness, she really had to remind herself to concentrate. She really didn't want to read about the wedding of doom again, but she did anyway. She was determined to find this lost stranger for Santana.

Coming to the end of the entry, Brittany felt like something was nagging at her. Like there was something here, right in front of her. She stared at the heartbreak, wondering why her instinct was telling her something was here. Suddenly, she sat up straighter, realizing just maybe she'd found the way.

"Santana?" Brittany called quietly.

The brunette strode into the room from the hallway. Her pacing had been taking her farther and farther out as Brittany read.

"Did you find something?"

Brittany looked up at her, feeling victorious already but not wanting to get her hopes up yet.

"I think—I think I have an idea."

Santana nodded, eager.

"Maybe… maybe we're going about this the wrong way."

She cocked her head to the side. So adorable.

"I'm listening."

Brittany took a deep breath. She was pretty sure she was on to something.

"Maybe we're looking for the wrong person."

For the third time, Santana's eyebrows knitted together.

"What do you mean?"

Brittany looked down at the page she had open.

"I think we can find Grace."

Santana sat down on the couch next to Brittany.

"Keep going."

Brittany didn't look up. Instead, she continued looking at the journal, reading again Maggie's view on Grace's wedding.

"Marriage records… they're open to the public, aren't they?"

She heard Santana's sharp intake of breath that told her Santana understood.

"I mean… I know you have to search by state… and I'm not really sure how far back you can look. Would there be searchable marriage records from the 40s? But if you can… think about it. We know a lot."

She looked up at Santana, smiling.

"We know their first names and occupations. How many students named Grace and soldiers named Thomas could have gotten married on—"

She paused to look back down at the date on the page but Santana finished for her.

"—June 6, 1942."

Brittany looked back up, a little stunned.

"…I've read it a lot…" Santana admitted a little sheepishly. She hurried on before Brittany could continue. "Brittany… you're exactly right. It would take a while to search that way, but yes I think we could definitely find her like that."

Santana's smile was radiant. It was worth feeling this exhausted to see that smile. Brittany continued on that train of thought before she lost it to fatigue.

"If we can find out who Grace is, maybe we can figure out where she went to school. If we do, it won't be hard to find Maggie."

Bam.

Santana was in her arms again before she had time to register it. She was kissing her gently. God her lips were perfect. When she pulled back, her eyes were starting to show a little of the fatigue Brittany was sure was in hers.

"You're a genius, Brittany."

The blonde just laughed. She was a little shocked actually she was the one who had the idea.

Shrugging her shoulders like it was nothing, she leaned back into the couch. If she stayed here much longer, she wouldn't get up again.

"Hey Santana?"

"Mmm?" the brunette replied distractedly. Brittany had definitely just pulled her out of her reverie.

"This genius is really tired…" Brittany said, forcing back a yawn.

Santana chuckled but got up from the sofa.

"Come on sleeping beauty. Let's go to bed."

Well, that sounds quite fantastic.

Ten minutes later, Brittany lay in bed with Santana snuggled into her arms in a borrowed pair of pajamas again.

"What time are you getting up to go to work tomorrow?" Brittany asked, fading fast.

"I think I'll reschedule my appointments for Friday. The office can go without me for a day."

Brittany smiled in the darkness. Sleeping in with Santana? She's okay with that.

"You'll stay with me?"

Invisible fingers were stroking her arm. God it felt good.

"If that's alright with you. We do have a mission, after all."

Brittany yawned one more time before answering.

"That's more than okay with me."

More strokes up her arm. Maybe she was already starting to dream.

"Goodnight Brittany. I love you."

Definitely dreaming.

"I love you too, Santana."

What a day.

* * *

**comments are always appreciated. leave me one if you like. or feel free to tweet me. silverdoe14**


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: thank you all for waiting patiently for this update. i know it's been the longest wait yet. As some of you know i had to have a surgery last week which set me back a bit on my writing and updating.**

**i hope you like this one. leave me your thoughts if you'd like!**

* * *

"Santana… I don't know how great my idea was anymore…" Brittany said heavily, closing out another window on the computer she was currently working at. She looked over at the brunette across from her. Santana was occupying her own computer, and was frowning at whatever she was looking at on the screen.

They were sitting in the New York Public Library, researching old marriage licenses. And they had been researching old licenses for a few hours now. The coffee Brittany had had that morning was long gone, and she thought wistfully about more as she stared at her empty cup.

Santana looked away from her computer at Brittany, and her frown turned into the smile she wore only for Brittany.

"It was a genius idea, Brittany. We'll find them."

Brittany nodded, wanting to reassure Santana with just as much hope. She knew how important it was to find Grace. She would be the biggest stepping stone to finding Maggie, who Santana had her heart set on finding. They had to find them. They had to.

They'd been looking through different states' vital records all morning, sure that that would be the most reliable way to find official marriage licenses. So far neither of them had had any luck. Most states didn't even have electronic copies dating prior to the fifties.

Lacking the hope she'd just reassured Santana with, Brittany put her head down on the cool flat surface of her study carrel. She closed her eyes, giving in for just a moment to the lethargy. Staring at a computer screen for several hours straight will do that to anyone.

After a few moments of silence, she felt warm hands on both her shoulders. With her eyes still closed, she smiled when she smelled Santana's familiar perfume.

"We'll find them," Santana said again, brushing her lips against Brittany's ear as she spoke. The contact sent pleasurable tickles all the way down her spine.

The blonde nodded again, refusing to open her eyes and resume the search that felt impossible.

"You need a break?" Santana whispered, still at Brittany's ear. Her voice had taken on a very subtle, playful tone.

Brittany nodded again, wondering what Santana would come up with.

The hands on her shoulders began to travel down her arms, leaving a trail of goose bumps behind them.

"Wanna make out in the reference section?"

At this, Brittany could do nothing but laugh. She sat up and turned to face Santana, whose expression was just as playful as her voice.

"Ms. Lopez!" Brittany whispered back, feigning shock. "We are in a public place!"

Brittany looked around, indicating the other people surrounding them. Santana followed her gaze at the several additional people working at other computers nearby. Her facial expression didn't look as if she was bothered by them. She leaned in again and put her hands on the arms of Brittany's chair, trapping her again in that perfect way that Santana does.

"I didn't ask if you wanted to make out right here," she whispered, dangerously close. The probability of making out right here was getting higher and higher though.

"I'd rather just take you home," Brittany whispered back boldly. Her favorite smirk was back in place on Santana's lips. And the familiar pulse between her legs was becoming more prominent. She shifted her weight in her chair to try to relieve some of the ache, and Santana's smirk broadened like she knew exactly what the blonde was doing.

Ever since the night before, when Brittany said they needed to wait a little while longer, she'd been feeling an emotion strikingly similar to regret. It was the second time Santana had wanted to have sex, if you counted the drunken encounter from months before. And it was the second time Brittany had said no. Surely that was enough to be certifiably crazy?

She let her eyes roam over the beautiful face in front of her and decided the days of rejection had passed. When Santana next gave her the chance, she'd say yes.

"What are you thinking about?" Santana asked, letting her eyes roam as well over Brittany's pensive expression. She was still trapping Brittany in the chair, and looking at her in a way reserved only for lovers.

Out of the corner of her eye, Brittany saw a few of the surrounding people starting to watch them. If they didn't get out of here soon, the onlookers would get a full show.

"I'm thinking we've searched enough for today, and can resume the search tomorrow. There's got to be a better way of finding old marriage licenses," Brittany said looking up into brown eyes. Santana's expression fell, as if she had been hoping for a different answer. Brittany smiled at her displeasure.

"I'm also thinking that if the search is over for today… we should probably get out of this library, because if we don't then these people are going to get to see a lot more of you than I'm comfortable with."

The returning smile she got from Santana made the ever-present butterflies in her stomach flutter even more.

"So," Brittany continued, leaning forward in her chair a bit more, "my vote is to go back to your place, make some dinner, and then see where the wind blows us this evening."

Brittany kind of hoped the wind blew her right into Santana's pants… but she'd keep that to herself.

In her periphery, she was still aware of the couple of surrounding people looking at them. She might not want them to get a show, but she was certainly okay with them being a little jealous. Closing the gap, she gave Santana a chaste but sweet kiss.

Standing up, and feeling better than she did five minutes ago, Brittany extended her hand to Santana, who took it without hesitation.

"Let's get out of here," she whispered, winking at Santana and casting one last look around the room. They'd probably be back here tomorrow, but for today, their work was done.

* * *

Brittany sat down once more into the soft leather seat of Santana's black Audi. As they made their way back towards Santana's condo, they rode in comfortable silence. Brittany was sure that Santana, like herself, was thinking of their search, and probably hoping tomorrow would be more successful. After a few minutes of driving, Santana took one hand off the wheel and rested it on Brittany's thigh without a word or glance. She began making circles with her fingers over Brittany's jeans. The blonde halfway wondered if she even gave the action conscious thought. It made her smile.

As they neared the condo, Santana looked over with a grin when Brittany's stomach gave a huge rumble that was easily heard over the soft purr of the Audi.

"So, there's not really much food in my house," she said quite nonchalantly, as if that was perfectly normal. Brittany supposed the days of her being self-conscious of her lack of cooking skills were over.

Brittany nodded, eyebrows furrowed.

"Don't you think that impedes our plans for making dinner? Just slightly?" she asked playfully.

"I was kind of hoping you could overlook that, considering I don't know how to cook."

Brittany chuckled. There was no resisting Santana when she was being cute.

"Oh fine, but you still need to learn you know," she said with mock sternness.

"That can be our next project, after we find Maggie and Grace," Santana said happily, looking over again to wink at the blonde. She was still tracing circles over Brittany's leg.

"Our? I know how to cook," Brittany said, laughing again.

"Quite well, in fact," Santana responded matter-of-factly. "Which means you can teach me."

"I don't know if you can afford me," Brittany replied sarcastically, shooting the brunette a cocky grin.

"Oh, I think I can come up with a payment method you will be satisfied with," she said quietly, making a wide arc with her fingers over Brittany's thigh. Her swipe brought her fingertips within inches of Brittany's center, and even through the jeans it felt good.

"Mexican?" Santana asked suddenly, easily switching gears. Brittany frowned; she wanted to go back to the sexually suggestive gear they had just been in.

"Huh?" she asked, confused. Sexual frustration sure did make her dumb sometimes.

"For dinner. Do you like Mexican? There's a good place not far from the condo."

Brittany nodded, agreeing to Santana's choice. But really she was just hoping the woman would take another sweep across her leg.

Half an hour later, they were entering Santana's front door, Mexican food in tow. It smelled so good on the drive over that Brittany's nether regions had finally decided to quit complaining for a while and let her stomach take over. Sitting down at Santana's table, she devoured her food quickly. And Santana had been right, this was some of the best Mexican she'd ever had. When she'd finally finished the rest of her rice, she set her fork down and looked over at Santana, who was only about halfway done herself.

"Am I not feeding you enough?" she asked playfully, looking at Brittany's empty plate and grinning.

_No, you aren't._

Damn, Brittany's mind was in the gutter today.

"I was just hungry," Brittany said, grinning back sheepishly.

She waited patiently for Santana to finish, and thought about today's search strategy. If marriage licenses were stored at official state offices, then surely the best way to find one was through each state? It bugged her that they hadn't found any useable information yet. Where else would house that kind of information?

"What if Maggie's alive?" Santana asked quietly, bringing Brittany out of her daydreaming.

The blonde looked over into Santana's earnest brown eyes. She thought she saw a little bit of hope in them too.

"Then we'll talk about what we want to do about that. But Santana, it's probably best if we go about this realistically," Brittany said slowly. She didn't want the end of this journey to be filled with a massive disappointment.

"I know. I know it isn't likely. And if she isn't then I just hope she was happy when she died."

She looked down at her plate, her expression a little saddened.

"You really connected with her didn't you?"

The woman looked back up solemnly, and reached across the table to rest her hand on top of Brittany's.

"We both experienced loss. The kind that leaves you shattered, cold, and lonely."

Brittany nodded. It hurt her now to think of the hurt Santana felt then.

A small smile started to spread across Santana's face though, and she squeezed Brittany's hand gently.

"But then I found a way back to happiness. So I do know it's possible. I just hope the same happened for Maggie."

Brittany smiled. Santana was perfect.

"Me too."

"It sucks I couldn't find a link between the previous owners of this place. I thought surely since I found her diary here, it must have been left by one of her descendants."

Brittany nodded again, and like before with the idea of the marriage records, an idea seemed to be forming in her mind without her being really aware of what it was. And then, like before, it snapped into distinct clarity without warning.

"Santana… would ancestry websites have that kind of information?"

A broad smile pulled at Santana's lips after these words. "I stand by what I said before, you're a genius. Come on!"

She led them to her bedroom and climbed into bed, indicating that Brittany should climb in beside her. Leaning over, she picked up a fancy looking silver laptop off the floor and then rested it on her lap.

"Hey! If you have a laptop then why did we go all the way to the library?"

Santana chuckled, and typed in her password to get to the desktop.

"Because I only have _one_ laptop. And there's two of us."

After a few more seconds, the internet browser was up and ready to go.

Surprisingly, it didn't take long. After just a few minutes of searching they'd found a website with a decent looking search engine. They were actually able to narrow their search to weddings in the year 1942, and were able to further narrow it by the first names of the bride and groom.

After entering the information that they knew, Santana took a deep breath.

"Ready?"

Brittany nodded, feeling confident.

A few seconds passed, and then nearly 200 results were displayed on the screen. Grace and Thomas must have been very popular names back then.

"Sort by date!" Brittany said excitedly. It had to be here.

Santana did, and then they scrolled slowly, until they got to June weddings.

And then they both saw it. June 6, 1942 in a town in Georgia, Grace Wallace married a man named Thomas Kirk. It was the only June 6 wedding there.

"There she is." Brittany said. She was not at all surprised to hear herself whispering.

Santana took another deep breath. "There she is."

"Now what?" the blonde asked. They'd focused so much on just finding this one document, she'd given absolutely no thought whatsoever to what they'd do when and if they finally did.

Santana nodded to herself, seemingly settling on an unspoken decision.

"I thought about this," she said, looking at Brittany and halfway shutting the laptop lid. "One of my friends, one of the ones I lost, was a private investigator before he decided to go to law school. I think it'd be pretty easy for him to find her, if we give him this information."

Brittany frowned. Santana hadn't spoken to any of her old friends in a long time.

"Are you sure? If you don't want to do that we can figure out another way. We got this far."

Santana smiled. It was reassuring.

"I'm sure. He'd be quick and much better at getting what we'd need, and I already got his number. Plus maybe… maybe it's time I got a few friends back."

Now Brittany was the one smiling.

"Okay then."

The blonde waited while Santana dialed the number, and then waited while she had a very awkward sounding conversation. But in the end, he agreed to find everything he could about her. He was just happy to hear from an old friend he thought he'd never hear from again. Santana made sure he had her phone number and gave him her email as well before hanging up.

"And now, we wait," Santana said around a yawn. She shut down the laptop and placed it back on the floor.

After kissing Brittany's cheek, she leaned into the blonde heavily, and they both lay there in silence. Brittany couldn't believe their change in fortune. They'd found Grace. The search was over.

Seconds turned into minutes, and Brittany felt Santana's breathing getting deeper and deeper.

The wind may not have blown them in the direction of sex tonight, but it did blow Santana right into her arms. And Brittany guessed she was just fine with that.

* * *

Friday morning came early. The typical sounds of New York City woke Brittany up as usual, but this time she fought hard to stay asleep. She supposed it may have had something to do with how comfortable and warm she was, snuggled up next to Santana Lopez. She kissed the brunette's shoulder lazily, content with remaining in this spot for a good while longer, but knowing Santana would be up soon to get to work.

"Good morning, beautiful," Brittany said, her voice scratchy.

Santana hummed happily. It was definitely now one of Brittany's favorite sounds.

"I guess we need to get up soon. You need to get to work."

Santana rolled over to face Brittany, and reached up to brush wild blonde hair out of bright blue eyes.

"Yes, I need to get to work. I don't see why that means you have to get up though."

Brittany laughed. She supposed Santana hadn't woken all the way up yet.

"Because I don't live here, silly."

Santana chuckled, and continued stroking her hair.

"No but I do. You should stay. Sleep in some more. Watch movies later. Be lazy."

Well, that sounded just fine with Brittany.

"I mean… if you want to go home I will take you there," Santana rushed on, backtracking, "but I thought it'd be really nice to come home to you."

Brittany smiled, basking in the butterflies.

"Have I told you how much I like it when you're sweet?"

"Once or twice," Santana said back with a wink. She got out of bed with a quick kiss to Brittany's lips. Nearly an hour later, she was out the door, leaving Brittany in her condo in a happy state of bliss that quickly turned back into dreaming.

After waking up again two hours later, Brittany finally decided it was time to get up for the day. It was sort of odd at first, being in Santana's condo alone. But eventually she realized this was probably not gonna be the last time she was here without Santana, and helped herself to a blanket on Santana's couch and her vast collection of DVDs.

Despite the movie marathon she was having with herself, the day still passed by in tense anticipation. She checked her phone every few minutes, waiting to see a text from Santana saying her friend had called her back. And despite her constant checking, the text she desperately wanted to see never came.

It was nearing 5:45 when Santana walked through the front door, instantly telling Brittany she'd heard nothing without being prompted. They both knew this could take a little while, even for an investigator. But at least Santana was home. Maybe the marathon could continue after dinner no longer a solo affair.

Dinner was halfway over (Thai again), and Brittany was accepting the probability that tomorrow would be another day of waiting when Santana's phone started to ring. Throwing a glance at her screen, she looked back up at Brittany. Her face looked slightly alarmed.

"It's him."

Brittany nodded quickly and excitedly. "Answer it!"

Watching it ring for another second or two, Santana answered the phone.

For what felt like forever, but in reality only lasted a few brief moments, Brittany watched Santana's face as her old friend talked. She could hear his voice but couldn't make out anything he was saying. And then, due to a reason Brittany couldn't hear, Santana's facial expression changed to one of mild shock. She made eye contact with the blonde but her expression gave nothing away.

"You're sure it's the same person?"

More incomprehensible babbling.

"Thank you so much. Send everything to my email."

After they'd exchanged goodbyes, Santana sat the phone back down gingerly on the table.

"Well?!" Brittany asked impatiently.

Looking up, and still with that shocked expression on her face, Santana spoke.

"She's alive."

And now Brittany was positive her expression matched the brunette's.

"Grace. She's alive," Santana repeated.

They stare at each other in silence, knowing that they have some decisions to make.

Do they contact her? Do they tell her about the journal? Would she even want to know?

The first thing to break the silence was the notification sound on Santana's phone, indicating she'd received a new email. Everything they had been searching for is right there. Waiting on them to piece together the rest of this 70 year old story.

"Let's look at what he's sent us in the morning," Santana said, surprising Brittany and finally being the first to speak. She was looking at Brittany with an expression the blonde couldn't quite decipher.

"Are you sure? Why do you want to wait?"

At these words, Santana stood and started unbuttoning her shirt slowly. Brittany's blue eyes widened, not daring to think about what this could possibly mean.

"Because we have something to celebrate tonight," she said confidently. "Would you care to join me in the bedroom?"

She finished unbuttoning her shirt and let it fall to the floor. With a very suggestive smile on her face, she turned her back and began making her way back to the king size bed Brittany knew they were about to share.

Incapable of waiting another second, Brittany followed, shedding her own shirt on the floor as she went.

* * *

**thanks again for your patience. tell me what you think if you like :)**


	22. Chapter 22

**In order to not prolong the moment, see author's notes at the end :)**

* * *

It felt like slow motion as Brittany walked down Santana's hallway. Her discarded shirt lay somewhere behind her, and the moment she'd been waiting on was somewhere in front of her. Her heart beat harder and harder with each step she took towards Santana's bedroom door. Arriving at the threshold, she looked into the room. Santana had turned on a small bedside lamp. It casted a dim glow onto the white walls, but gave just enough light. She definitely didn't want to do this in the dark.

Santana herself was standing in front of the massive bed, still in all her clothes but the shirt she'd shed cast off before. She smiled at Brittany still standing on the threshold, before she moved her hands down to the button of her pants, and began unfastening it.

"Stop," Brittany said, surprised at the authority in her own voice, and the fact she was still capable of speaking.

Santana looked up frowning.

"Please don't make me wait anymore. I want you. Now."

Ignoring the surge of wetness in her underwear at these words, Brittany stepped into the room, walking steadily up to Santana.

"I'm not making you wait," Brittany said quietly. "I just wanted to do this part."

She replaced Santana's hands with her own, pulling down on the zipper. Without breaking eye contact, she slid her fingertips under the waist line of the woman's pants. Santana's skin was warm and smooth. Pushing her hands down farther, Santana's pants fell in a heap. Brittany looked down at the black lace panties, and now let just a forefinger breach the waist line. She thought about the last time she'd seen Santana naked, the night they'd taken a shower together. How hard had it been then, to see but not touch. And now, as her finger roamed across smooth skin just under Santana's panty line, how hard it was not to touch all at once.

Her eyes travelled up Santana's perfect body, and images of all the things she was going to do tonight flashed through her mind. Somehow it gave her patience. She'd have time for it all. When they finally came to rest on Santana's face, she leaned in for a sweet kiss to the woman's lips. This is how it was supposed to go.

"Brittany?" Santana asked quietly, looking down.

"Mmm?" the blonde asked back, wondering why Santana's voice sounded vulnerable.

"What if I'm not any good at this? What if I forgot how?"

Brittany leaned down and started placing kisses along Santana's collar bone, her hands coming to rest on Santana's hips.

"Impossible."

She felt warm hands travelling across her back and smiled. There was no way Santana wasn't about to give her the best night of her life.

When she felt Santana's hands move away from her back and down to her own pants, she pulled back.

"Take them off," she said roughly to the brunette. She noticed it turned her on even more to give her boss orders. With a playful grin, Santana gave a light tug and the sweatpants Brittany had been wearing fell to the floor to join Santana's. Taking her by surprise, Santana then hooked her thumbs into Brittany's underwear and pull, completely exposing her. She felt the cool air rush over her heated skin. It felt good.

"Lie down," Brittany whispered seductively in Santana's ear. She needed her on the bed. Now.

Santana smiled, acknowledging the command before she sat and then lay down, propping herself up on her elbows. She raised an eyebrow that was as good as a verbal invitation.

The blonde could feel her heart pounding against her ribcage as she crawled onto the bed. Looking down at Santana, she slid one hand around the woman's back and gently pulled up, indicating she wanted Santana to arch a bit more. Using the same hand, she quickly and easily unclasped the matching lace bra that was covering up what she desperately wanted to see. As Santana lay completely back, Brittany pulled at the straps on her tan shoulders, freeing her perfect boobs. Santana's dark nipples were already hardened. And the pulse between Brittany's legs was beating faster.

Brittany let her body rest against Santana's before she leaned in. With one leg between Santana's, her clit was mere inches away from the brunette's, and she could feel the heat from between the woman's legs radiating out. She knew Santana could feel her, and she knew she was leaving copious amounts of herself on Santana's thigh. It did nothing but turn her on. She resisted the urge to push her hips down, to give herself any relief. She wanted to feel the ache a bit longer.

Her lips met Santana's, and within seconds the woman's tongue was in her mouth. Brittany groaned, and the patience she'd found before was beginning to wane. Apparently, so was Santana's, because her hands were travelling up Brittany's back, unclasping her own bra. The blonde broke free just long enough to discard the garment. Laying back down, her boobs pressed into Santana's. The extra skin on skin contact felt amazing. Releasing Santana's lips, she moved to the woman's neck. Her skin was beginning to dampen with perspiration, and it spurred Brittany on more. Kissing along Santana's neck, she let one hand cup one of Santana's very full breasts. And now they were both groaning.

She moved down, kissing along Santana's collar bone before letting her lips trail over the swell of the other breast. Santana's breathing was becoming more labored, and with every inhale she put more of herself into Brittany's hand, up to Brittany's lips. And it was all so fucking sexy; Brittany wasn't sure how she hadn't exploded yet. Not wanting to prolong this moment any more, she used the tip of her tongue to circle the woman's hard nipple, while at the same time rolling the other one between her thumb and forefinger. She heard Santana gasp and the sound was quite exquisite. It made her want more. Anything to make Santana make that sound again. So with her lips she latched on, gently sucking and pulling; flicking her tongue over and over against Santana's flesh. And within minutes the heat that Brittany had felt before between Santana's legs was a tangible wetness, soaking through the brunette's underwear and finding a place on Brittany's leg.

"You're so wet," Brittany said huskily, releasing Santana's nipple and moving back up to her neck.

"You have no idea," Santana panted back, tangling her fingers in blonde hair. "Brittany, please, touch me."

Those words, spoken in Santana's raspy voice… the blonde probably could have gotten off on just that. She knew she was just as wet as Santana was, and her body was aching for the woman to touch her too.

She sat up on her knees and looked down at Santana. She still couldn't believe this perfect woman, with this perfect body, was hers. Her hands were surprisingly steady as she reached for the black lace. They glided up Santana's thighs and she hooked her fingers underneath the waist band. Santana locked eyes with her and then slowly lifted her pelvis, arching her back just enough for Brittany to get them off easily. It was probably one of the sexiest things Brittany had ever seen.

She pulled gently, and the underwear came off, revealing even more of that smooth, tan skin. And now they were both completely naked, and she was about to feel Santana, all of Santana, for the first time.

Gently, she used both hands to push Santana's legs apart. It gave her renewed confidence that the woman didn't resist her at all. As much as she would have loved to settle herself right there and taste Santana on her tongue again, it just didn't feel right. It wasn't intimate enough for her first time with this amazing person. She resumed her position from before, resting one leg between Santana's. Without the last remaining barrier, she could finally feel Santana's soaked core against her skin. Her breathing was becoming ragged again and she hadn't even touched her once. Resting on one elbow, she supported Santana's head and tangled her fingers through black curls. She looked into dark eyes as her hand travelled down. With a quick caress to one breast, she moved down to taught abs, then let her finger trail over Santana's protruding hip bone. And here she paused, waiting for that one last consent.

The brunette nodded, and repeated her plea.

"Please."

That was enough. Moving inward, Brittany let two fingers explore the woman's folds. She was wetter than anything Brittany had ever felt before, and Brittany's fingers were drenched in seconds.

With those two fingers, she parted Santana's folds, letting the palm of her hand brush the woman's clit. Santana gasped again, and arched into Brittany's hand, seeking more contact. The blonde circled Santana's entrance once, before coming up to glide over the woman's clit with her fingertips. Santana's skin was like satin, and felt so damn good. Brittany knew she could touch her forever and be happy doing it.

"God, Britt… don't stop," Santana whispered unevenly. Her eyes were closed and she was biting her lip. Brittany never wanted this moment to end.

The blonde continued her slow ministrations, switching between circling the woman's clit and gathering more wetness from between the folds. She knew Santana had to beyond ready to explode.

Burying her head into the crook of Santana's neck, Brittany finally gave in, and ended the slow torture. She slid two fingers inside the brunette and waited, letting Santana adjust to the fullness. She felt the fingers in her hair scratch against her scalp, and hold her closer, not letting her go. After a second or two, Brittany begin to ease in and out, curling her fingers against Santana's top wall every time she withdrew.

"You feel so good," she panted in between staccato kisses to the woman's neck.

She established a rhythm, thrusting into Santana with two fingers while the heel of her palm collided each time with Santana's clit. And then Santana started to rock with her, and they began a new dance. One they seemed to already know the steps to.

All too quickly, Santana's breath was hitching, and Brittany could feel the woman's muscles begin to tighten. Knowing what was coming if she didn't stop, she slowly removed her fingers.

"Brittany… I was so close. Please, don't stop."

Brittany leaned up to look down at her. Santana's skin was glistening. Nobody else could make it look that sexy.

"It's not time yet."

Santana pouted, and given their current position and what they were doing, Brittany had to resist the desire to chuckle.

"Turn over," she commanded quietly, resuming a rather authoritative role over her boss.

"Wh—what?" she asked back, the fingers in Brittany's hair slackening.

"Turn over for me."

She lifted herself off of Santana, sparing a kiss to her lips as she did it.

The brunette looked hesitant, and vulnerable, but slowly flipped onto her stomach, exposing her perfect backside. Brittany lay back down on top of her, this time her boobs pressing into Santana's back.

"Lift up, onto your elbows."

Santana did as she was told, and Brittany trailed her lips over her shoulder blades. She slid one hand underneath Santana's chest, cupping her breast again.

"Relax, trust me," she whispered into Santana's ear, trailing a finger down her spine. She felt the brunette relax underneath her, filling up more of Brittany's palm with her boob.

With her free hand, Brittany then spread toned legs apart one more time. She was a little surprised when she touched Santana again that the woman was just as wet as before.

"You like this?" Brittany asked seductively.

"Mmm," Santana purred into the sheets. "I like you telling me what to do."

Well if that wasn't one of the hottest things Brittany's ever heard…

Unable to drag it out as she had before, the blonde slid her two fingers back inside from behind, loving that gasp Santana gave her again.

"It's so much deeper this way," she said lowly, kissing Santana's earlobe as she said it.

Again she thrusted, nice and slow, working Santana up again.

"Oh god, Brittany… what are you doing to me?"

Brittany smiled, pinching a dark nipple between her fingers. Santana fucking Lopez was underneath her right now, calling out her name, about to fall over the edge all because of Brittany. She was pretty sure she could feel her own wetness sliding down her leg, desperate for Santana to take care of it for her.

And they began again, Santana rocking her hips backwards into Brittany's hand, Brittany holding her tight with her other arm.

Even faster than before, Santana was coming undone. And this time Brittany wasn't going to stop her.

"Yes, Britt… oh god don't stop. I'm… almost…"

Brittany pumped again, waiting for that one moment when Santana reaches the brink.

"Come for me, Santana," she commanded quietly, nipping at the tan skin of Santana's shoulder.

That seemed to do it, that one simple sentence. And then Santana was making fists into the sheets, and Brittany could feel the walls clamping down on her fingers, and the uncontrollable spasms that went with it. And she was moaning, and more wetness was pooling in Brittany's palm. The blonde wasn't sure how long this lasted. She only knew it was a moment of sheer ecstasy. She was positive she wanted nothing more out of life than to make Santana Lopez orgasm over and over and over again.

And then everything was quiet. The only sounds to be heard were the heavy pants from both of them. Santana collapsed beneath her, her breast still resting in Brittany's palm, and Brittany's fingers still resting inside her.

Pulling out gently, Brittany rolled over and lay on her back. The air and sheets felt cool on her over heated skin. They lay there silently for a few minutes, both regaining a bit of the composure they so easily lost moments ago.

"Brittany… that was fucking amazing."

Santana said it quietly. And the sound was quite muffled given that she hadn't even lifted her head to say it. But Brittany smiled anyway. It was fucking amazing.

"I'm still so wet," she said, turning her head to face Brittany. Her hair was a mess. It was glorious.

Well… break time was over. And that was just fine with the blonde.

"I could help you out with that," Brittany said back, more seductively than ever.

Santana grinned, full of mischief.

"What'd you have in mind?"

Brittany sat up and then rested on her knees again.

"Turn back over."

Santana complied silently. More wetness surged out of the blonde. She couldn't help but love Santana's willingness.

For a third time, Brittany spread apart tan legs, and slides back. When she lay back down this time, her face was in a perfect position. Santana hadn't been lying. She was visibly very, very much still turned on.

She thought about kissing her way down, but any and all patience was gone now. Leaning in, she took one long swipe straight up between Santana's folds, ending in a soft kiss right to the woman's sensitive clit. She tasted even better than Brittany remembered. Keeping her lips closed around it, Brittany gently flicked her tongue across it. Santana tried to buck, but Brittany steadied her hips with one arm. Back and forth she went, between Santana's clit and licking down the center, relishing every moment of the sweet and tangy taste that was Santana.

Making sure she had a firm hold on Santana's hips, she slipped one finger back inside her. Santana gave a sharp intake of breath, but didn't object. She moved easily with Brittany, as if they'd been here before. And again within moments, and with one good stroke against Santana's top wall, she was coming again, this time into Brittany's mouth. The blonde's body was just about ready to explode when she'd finally gotten the last drop and collapsed at the top of the bed again.

"Brittany, I say again," Santana said around heavy breaths, "you're a genius."

The blonde laughed and threw an arm over her eyes. Her whole body was aching in the most fantastic way. With her arm over her eyes, she hadn't noticed Santana was moving. She was only alerted to this when she felt warm legs straddle her. Flinging her eyes open, she looked up and probably the best thing she'd ever seen.

Santana Lopez, naked, straddling her. Dear sweet, sweet lord.

"It's my turn now."

Oh god. Don't come yet.

She thought she was wet before when she was listening to Santana's moans and licking her senseless, but now, with the woman on top of her, knowing what Santana was about to do to her, her body redoubled its efforts. The sheets were more than soaked through.

Without warning, Santana was kissing her. She wondered wildly if Santana could taste herself. The idea kind of turned her on even more. And then she felt the woman shift just a little in her lap, and her legs were being spread apart. The moment was here.

And then Santana was inside her, and Brittany moaned out. God she felt so fucking good. Her fingers were like magic. Whatever qualms she'd had before about not being any good were dying quick deaths. Santana Lopez was fucking amazing at everything.

* * *

Brittany lay on her back, panting like she'd just had the workout of her life.

Well, maybe she had.

She was pretty sure having sex with Santana had resulted in her losing consciousness for small seconds at a time. She seemed to remember everything in fragments.

Santana's fingers filling her up. Her tongue at her earlobe. Then her nipples. Then her clitoris. That overwhelming feeling of fullness. Santana's teeth gently biting the flesh of her neck. Then those moments of sweet release, scratching at Santana's back while she had the best orgasm of her life.

The brunette, whose breathing was starting to return to normal, lay on top of her, her head resting on Brittany's shoulders and one finger lazily tracing Brittany's still erect nipple.

"Can we do this every night?" Santana asked quietly, not even putting in the effort to sit up and look at Brittany.

The blonde chuckled. The idea was sexy as hell, but only Santana could make such a request sound so cute.

"I'm desperately hoping so," she replied, playing with Santana's curls.

Her body was tired, but she felt wide awake. Having sex with Santana had completely reinvigorated her. She was pretty sure she could take on the world right now and win. Maybe Santana was the one with the magic hooha.

"Brittany?" the brunette asked, still lazily tracing her nipple. It was starting to tickle the longer she got away from her orgasm.

"Mmm?"

At this she finally sat up, and in her eyes there was an adventurous glint. She was positive it was identical to the way she was currently feeling.

"I'm not tired."

Brittany chuckled, sitting up to give her a quick peck. She was adorable.

"Neither am I. What do you wanna do now?"

Santana smiled.

"I think we should go look at the stuff on Grace. I want to find her. I want her side of the story. Maybe she's with Maggie after all."

Brittany smiled. This was exactly what made Santana so adorable. When she let go of all the cynicism and showed a little bit of hope. This sounded like the perfect adventure to take together.

"Okay, let's do it."

Brittany went to sit up again, but Santana held her down with a hand on her shoulder.

The adventurous glint in her eyes turned slightly mischievous again.

"But first, I think you should come take another shower with me. And I think you should let me have my way with you in there."

Brittany gulped. Santana's shift from cute to sexy as fucking hell left her head spinning.

The brunette gave her another quick peck before getting off the bed. Standing in the doorway to her bathroom, she turned around and gave Brittany her famous grin.

"I dare you to remain standing."

And then she walked inside, leaving Brittany with a quickly returning wetness and a desire to take on a rather difficult dare.

Grace would just have to hold on a little bit longer.

* * *

**A/N: first, i wanted to thank you all for the reviews you left me on the last update. and the kind words wishing me a quick recovery from my surgery. it was very sweet of you.**

**second, i just wanted to say how great and supportive this whole fandom has been since the loss of cory. it truly was a loss for so many.**

**thirdly, and lastly, i hope you enjoyed this update. leave me your thoughts if you like :)**


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